I can't restart...
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Towards the end of my drinking, I spent a lot of time thinking about getting sober, wondering what it would be like, whether I could do it, etc. It just made me want to have another drink.
In order to stop drinking, I had to stop drinking....... regardless of my emotional state or how much I wanted "just one more." I guess I finally realized that just thinking about it wasn't going to make it any easier and in fact just made it that much worse. I had to stop drinking before I could find the solutions, minute by minute, that would keep me sober.
Hope that made sense......
In order to stop drinking, I had to stop drinking....... regardless of my emotional state or how much I wanted "just one more." I guess I finally realized that just thinking about it wasn't going to make it any easier and in fact just made it that much worse. I had to stop drinking before I could find the solutions, minute by minute, that would keep me sober.
Hope that made sense......
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 1,028
Most people have to change people, places and things they used to do and think in order to make an environment of recovery possible.
I had to stop hanging around people that go to happy hours, parties, etc. I had to set the boundary that if I ever do anything with my past drunk budies it would be breakfast or lunch only at work so that there would be no drinking. It was easier than I thought.
I also had to change what I did in my free time. Probably the hardest part of recovery that I still struggle with BIG TIME. But Just changing and putting boundaries on things that were big triggers took away about 80% of the possibility that I would drink.
AND I go to meetings. I don't always like them and I had to realize that really only the all women's meetings really give me any kind of useful experience or hope. I won't go into why.
If you are really ready to stop drinking you will take inventory of your behavior and what you do with your time and who you do it with. I work on this every day. I consider myself a never ending work in progress! LOL
I had to stop hanging around people that go to happy hours, parties, etc. I had to set the boundary that if I ever do anything with my past drunk budies it would be breakfast or lunch only at work so that there would be no drinking. It was easier than I thought.
I also had to change what I did in my free time. Probably the hardest part of recovery that I still struggle with BIG TIME. But Just changing and putting boundaries on things that were big triggers took away about 80% of the possibility that I would drink.
AND I go to meetings. I don't always like them and I had to realize that really only the all women's meetings really give me any kind of useful experience or hope. I won't go into why.
If you are really ready to stop drinking you will take inventory of your behavior and what you do with your time and who you do it with. I work on this every day. I consider myself a never ending work in progress! LOL
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,236
For me, while in rehab those first 28 days
was a good start for me. It was a controlled
inviroment with routine in it. I had never
been to rehab before and had no idea what
i had to do there. However, with councilors
to help us and guide us thru routine each day
with no alcohol or drugs to put our hands on
it allowed the poison to leave our bodies and
the fog to clear our heads.
Each day we did the same thing, prayer, exercise,
meals, group, lectures etc. . Did I want to be there,
NO, BUT......if sent home after 2 weeks, i was told
id surely drink again. After 2 weeks, i was to be sent
to a halfway house out of state away from my little
family, which i begged not to and told them, i would
do whatever i needed to do to stay those 28 days.
I did and i followed thru the motions, day after day.
When poison leaves our system then we have to deal
with life on lifes terms with no crutch. Nothing to numb
our pains, fears, resentments etc. We have to accept
people places and things just as they r suppose to
because we cant change them no matter how hard we
try.
The tools i learned are that of steps and principles
given to us my the founders of Alcoholics Anonymous.
I applied those to my everyday life.
For me, this program has kept me sober for 21
yrs. however i cant speak for anyone elses way
of staying sober. This program along with meetings,
fellowship, change in my life has all been positive
in my recovery as I continue on in my journey.
We all look for the easy way out of things and to
be honest it can be easy but we have to work thru
some of those lifes obsticals that keep us drinking
or using.
All you need is a willingness to change somethings
in ur life, keeping an openmind and honesty.
Find someone you feel comfortable with that has
long term sobriety to guide you along the way.
It is their knowledge, wisdom and action of recovery
that keeps them sober or clean each day.
was a good start for me. It was a controlled
inviroment with routine in it. I had never
been to rehab before and had no idea what
i had to do there. However, with councilors
to help us and guide us thru routine each day
with no alcohol or drugs to put our hands on
it allowed the poison to leave our bodies and
the fog to clear our heads.
Each day we did the same thing, prayer, exercise,
meals, group, lectures etc. . Did I want to be there,
NO, BUT......if sent home after 2 weeks, i was told
id surely drink again. After 2 weeks, i was to be sent
to a halfway house out of state away from my little
family, which i begged not to and told them, i would
do whatever i needed to do to stay those 28 days.
I did and i followed thru the motions, day after day.
When poison leaves our system then we have to deal
with life on lifes terms with no crutch. Nothing to numb
our pains, fears, resentments etc. We have to accept
people places and things just as they r suppose to
because we cant change them no matter how hard we
try.
The tools i learned are that of steps and principles
given to us my the founders of Alcoholics Anonymous.
I applied those to my everyday life.
For me, this program has kept me sober for 21
yrs. however i cant speak for anyone elses way
of staying sober. This program along with meetings,
fellowship, change in my life has all been positive
in my recovery as I continue on in my journey.
We all look for the easy way out of things and to
be honest it can be easy but we have to work thru
some of those lifes obsticals that keep us drinking
or using.
All you need is a willingness to change somethings
in ur life, keeping an openmind and honesty.
Find someone you feel comfortable with that has
long term sobriety to guide you along the way.
It is their knowledge, wisdom and action of recovery
that keeps them sober or clean each day.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 746
aasharon90
21 years that is a long time. I think I can stay sober while being on my own. The problem is other people and events. I will think about my unique methods to keep my mind off the drink.
21 years that is a long time. I think I can stay sober while being on my own. The problem is other people and events. I will think about my unique methods to keep my mind off the drink.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
I'm sorry to see you're still struggling HF.
My advice is to find support - whether it be AA or Smart or Rational Recovery or counselling or inpatient or outpatient rehab, or something else...find support.
Noone does this alone, and noone does this without committing to changes in their lives, & a lot of effort and commitment.
There's many different approaches and methods of recovery around - here's some links to some of the main players:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.
The main thing - whatever you decide to do HF - is do something.
If I wanted my life to change I had to make changes - it's really as simple as that (not easy maybe, but simple)
I had to think about what I wanted and make sure the decisions I was making were in line with the life I wanted and person I wanted to be.
D
My advice is to find support - whether it be AA or Smart or Rational Recovery or counselling or inpatient or outpatient rehab, or something else...find support.
Noone does this alone, and noone does this without committing to changes in their lives, & a lot of effort and commitment.
There's many different approaches and methods of recovery around - here's some links to some of the main players:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.
The main thing - whatever you decide to do HF - is do something.
If I wanted my life to change I had to make changes - it's really as simple as that (not easy maybe, but simple)
I had to think about what I wanted and make sure the decisions I was making were in line with the life I wanted and person I wanted to be.
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 1,193
Originally Posted by Healthyfood 
I relapsed after 6 days being sober. Only because I went to the party. I didn't enjoy drinking.
So after the party I continued to drink again and again. Now I'm at the point where I don't know how to stop it and restart my sobriety?
So after the party I continued to drink again and again. Now I'm at the point where I don't know how to stop it and restart my sobriety?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 1,193
Originally Posted by Healthyfood
munchkin05
I just know how hard the first 3 days are. Not sure what to do with all the parties that will come, I just can't relapse every time. And then again restart.
I just know how hard the first 3 days are. Not sure what to do with all the parties that will come, I just can't relapse every time. And then again restart.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 1,193
Originally Posted by Healthyfood
Dee74
Thank you for all of your ideas! This is going to be my 3rd attempt. Deep inside I think this time I will do it!!! I have chosen the date already!
Thank you for all of your ideas! This is going to be my 3rd attempt. Deep inside I think this time I will do it!!! I have chosen the date already!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 746
Pigtails
I don't want to upset people. But by going to the party I will put myself under pressure and eventually will drink. What is the point get to the day 6 and relapse and then again start from day 1. I hate restarts.
I don't want to upset people. But by going to the party I will put myself under pressure and eventually will drink. What is the point get to the day 6 and relapse and then again start from day 1. I hate restarts.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
when I stopped drinking, the LAST thing I worried about was "upsetting other people" and going to a party. I finally put myself and my health first.
maybe you want to consider that? what is most beneficial to you?
maybe you want to consider that? what is most beneficial to you?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 1,193
Originally Posted by Healthyfood
Pigtails
I don't want to upset people. But by going to the party I will put myself under pressure and eventually will drink. What is the point get to the day 6 and relapse and then again start from day 1. I hate restarts.
I don't want to upset people. But by going to the party I will put myself under pressure and eventually will drink. What is the point get to the day 6 and relapse and then again start from day 1. I hate restarts.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by Healthyfood
Pigtails
I don't want to upset people. But by going to the party I will put myself under pressure and eventually will drink. What is the point get to the day 6 and relapse and then again start from day 1. I hate restarts.
I don't want to upset people. But by going to the party I will put myself under pressure and eventually will drink. What is the point get to the day 6 and relapse and then again start from day 1. I hate restarts.
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