What do you do when all that you did was drink
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 8
What do you do when all that you did was drink
What to do when all you did was drink?
Hello everyone,
Let me tell you a little about my current situation/struggles. Signing up to this website is the first thing I have done to reach out for support...
This will be my first post so bear with me please. I am 22 and have been drinking heavily for maybe 10 years. It all started when I was probably a freshman in high school, it’s just what we all did socially. Whisky, vodka, and rum shots are mostly what we would prefer to drink. Back then I never blacked out though, which is not the case today.
Now a days I feel like I black out more often than I do not. Once the whisky is flowin, theres no stoppin us till the bottle is gone...then we'll go back to the LQ store. Sometimes I am really mean to my boyfriend for no reason, or cause a problem when I am intoxicated. Then the next day I wake up so miserable, ashamed, depressed, and humiliated because I do not even remember what I did to embarrass myself.
My boyfriend tells me, “ You were fine you didn’t so anything wrong, your over reacting because you were fine last night.” But I know that sometimes I act like a total fool but honestly I am just sick of being so out of control!
I go to school full time now and live with my boyfriend of 4 years, and I love him so much, because he is an amazing person all aroung. But he also drinks. He likes to drink beer and as well as occasional shots. My boyfriend does not want to quit drinking like I do right now.
My dad drinks way too much with his wife of ten years. My older sister and her boyfriend drink way too much, and I think she may be a sociopath as well, which has been difficult to handle on my own. All of our friends drink most of the time as well.
My question to you is:
How do you not drink when everyone around you is, and that's all you do? Should I lay low for a while and do my own thing?
Especially when holidays and birthdays are coming up?
Lately I have just been staying home or being the DD to stay away from the alcohol.
Hello everyone,
Let me tell you a little about my current situation/struggles. Signing up to this website is the first thing I have done to reach out for support...
This will be my first post so bear with me please. I am 22 and have been drinking heavily for maybe 10 years. It all started when I was probably a freshman in high school, it’s just what we all did socially. Whisky, vodka, and rum shots are mostly what we would prefer to drink. Back then I never blacked out though, which is not the case today.
Now a days I feel like I black out more often than I do not. Once the whisky is flowin, theres no stoppin us till the bottle is gone...then we'll go back to the LQ store. Sometimes I am really mean to my boyfriend for no reason, or cause a problem when I am intoxicated. Then the next day I wake up so miserable, ashamed, depressed, and humiliated because I do not even remember what I did to embarrass myself.
My boyfriend tells me, “ You were fine you didn’t so anything wrong, your over reacting because you were fine last night.” But I know that sometimes I act like a total fool but honestly I am just sick of being so out of control!
I go to school full time now and live with my boyfriend of 4 years, and I love him so much, because he is an amazing person all aroung. But he also drinks. He likes to drink beer and as well as occasional shots. My boyfriend does not want to quit drinking like I do right now.
My dad drinks way too much with his wife of ten years. My older sister and her boyfriend drink way too much, and I think she may be a sociopath as well, which has been difficult to handle on my own. All of our friends drink most of the time as well.
My question to you is:
How do you not drink when everyone around you is, and that's all you do? Should I lay low for a while and do my own thing?
Especially when holidays and birthdays are coming up?
Lately I have just been staying home or being the DD to stay away from the alcohol.
Last edited by hungover12; 12-09-2011 at 07:49 PM. Reason: spelling
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Twin Cities MN
Posts: 83
Oh man what I wouldn't give to have had the same realization at 22. Good for you! I'm 27 myself and gotta say: our generation certainly seems to love to drink! Drinking seems to go hand in hand with everything! From eating to playing video games to watching movies to just "hanging out" at home - I'm sure you notice drinking going down everywhere!
How I avoid drinking: right now, I'm not going to anything where drinking is the main attraction. For everything else, I make sure I always have a bottle of water or juice with me so that I can be drinking something. That way, if any friends offer a drink, I can say "Nah, I'm good" and raise my juice bottle. As for the temptation to drink.... well, I have my brain rigged up right now to remember how awful the last hangover/withdrawal was and make those memories pop and stick with even the slightest inkling to drink.
One piece of advice I'll really stick by is: keep it simple! No need to test or challenge yourself right now. Also: come here and read and write a LOT. It WILL help, I feel confident that I can guarantee that
How I avoid drinking: right now, I'm not going to anything where drinking is the main attraction. For everything else, I make sure I always have a bottle of water or juice with me so that I can be drinking something. That way, if any friends offer a drink, I can say "Nah, I'm good" and raise my juice bottle. As for the temptation to drink.... well, I have my brain rigged up right now to remember how awful the last hangover/withdrawal was and make those memories pop and stick with even the slightest inkling to drink.
One piece of advice I'll really stick by is: keep it simple! No need to test or challenge yourself right now. Also: come here and read and write a LOT. It WILL help, I feel confident that I can guarantee that
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: NYC
Posts: 2
I actually relate to your situation a lot. Most of my friends, as well as myself, turned 21 this year and since then, almost all social situations involve alcohol. I've only recently become sober and don't know how I feel about it yet, but something I've definitely realized is how alone I feel without alcohol as apart of my social interactions. I just can't imagine going out and not having a drink...something that has helped me realize how integral alcohol has been apart of my life. And I honestly can't tell you much of anything about the few weeks before I stopped drinking (it's like one giant brown-out).
I guess I don't have much advice to offer you since I think a lot of my hesitance towards sobriety is due to the fact that I don't want to avoid the social situations that are so much apart of your twenties (going out to bars, clubs, etc.). In my more lucid moments I just try to not think of what I'm giving up and think more about what I'm gaining: friends who don't necessarily need or want to go out regularly (i.e: drink) to have a good time. I mean, many people don't drink, or at least very much, but still have a good time.
I know my experience isn't totally applicable to your situation since my family doesn't drink and so I don't really have to feel like I'm choosing between them and sobriety. Still, I get how overwhelming these situations can feel like. I guess it's just important to not let them wear you down until you get to the point where you feel like you have to drink in order to be apart of the group (whatever and whoever defines "group" for you).
I guess I don't have much advice to offer you since I think a lot of my hesitance towards sobriety is due to the fact that I don't want to avoid the social situations that are so much apart of your twenties (going out to bars, clubs, etc.). In my more lucid moments I just try to not think of what I'm giving up and think more about what I'm gaining: friends who don't necessarily need or want to go out regularly (i.e: drink) to have a good time. I mean, many people don't drink, or at least very much, but still have a good time.
I know my experience isn't totally applicable to your situation since my family doesn't drink and so I don't really have to feel like I'm choosing between them and sobriety. Still, I get how overwhelming these situations can feel like. I guess it's just important to not let them wear you down until you get to the point where you feel like you have to drink in order to be apart of the group (whatever and whoever defines "group" for you).
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Maine
Posts: 33
I commend you for wanting to get and stay sober. It must be hard being so young and trying to stay sober when all your friends drink. Here's the deal though - it can be done. If you go to an AA meeting, you will meet others in your shoes. I went to one last night and was amazed at the number or young people there. What courage they have to tackle this! My ex boyfriend (still a good friend) is 45 and he has been sober since he was 20. He was in the prime of his partying and had a wake up call that he didn't want to wake up feeling like crap anymore and wasting his life away. He has not had a drink in 25 years. We just got off the phone and he said after rehab, he did two meetings a day for an entire year. That's how committed he was to his sobriety. It did mean meeting new friends as all the ones he'd known still partied. He has had a really good life as a result of his sobriety.
You can do this, you just need to want to bad enough and get support systems in place. Support is key. I think it's pretty much impossible to do on one's own.
Hang in there. You are doing great reaching out for help. Consider AA. The program saves lives.
You can do this, you just need to want to bad enough and get support systems in place. Support is key. I think it's pretty much impossible to do on one's own.
Hang in there. You are doing great reaching out for help. Consider AA. The program saves lives.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,541
Hi and welcome Hungover
I had to make some major changes in my life.
I tried, oh how I tied, to just not drink but keep my old life. It didn't work - the central activity of my old life was drinking - alcohol was the cornerstone of everything I did and all my relationships.
If I wanted that to change, lots of other things had to change too
It was difficult but looking back I didn't lose out on the deal...some people did leave my life but others came into it...I stopped doing some things, sure, but picked up many more things to do
I like my life now. I could never have gotten to where I am now when I was drinking.
D
I had to make some major changes in my life.
I tried, oh how I tied, to just not drink but keep my old life. It didn't work - the central activity of my old life was drinking - alcohol was the cornerstone of everything I did and all my relationships.
If I wanted that to change, lots of other things had to change too
It was difficult but looking back I didn't lose out on the deal...some people did leave my life but others came into it...I stopped doing some things, sure, but picked up many more things to do
I like my life now. I could never have gotten to where I am now when I was drinking.
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: I'm exactly where I should be.
Posts: 1,889
I'm just a 'tad bit older' than you (LOL) but one thing I found to be helpful to me in becoming a stronger sober person was to think outside the box. All your friends will be going out getting drunk. So...what to do? There is a WORLD of choices out there. Don't just think outside the box -get outside the box. You have to ACT on it. Actually DO something different. I found that changing my every move, my every habit, my every thought was an encouragement to keeping myself sober. Challenge yourself.
I do understand how difficult it will be for you with everyone around you drinking. But that's when you plan an escape route. If you start feeling tempted -bolt. Leave...go for a walk. Grab the nearest dog and walk...go out for ice cream. I could never drink when I had ice cream. Yuck.
I commend you on your efforts and if you stick around here you'll find some great advice and ideas to be strong and grow into your own soul.
Wishing you peace and strength.
I do understand how difficult it will be for you with everyone around you drinking. But that's when you plan an escape route. If you start feeling tempted -bolt. Leave...go for a walk. Grab the nearest dog and walk...go out for ice cream. I could never drink when I had ice cream. Yuck.
I commend you on your efforts and if you stick around here you'll find some great advice and ideas to be strong and grow into your own soul.
Wishing you peace and strength.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome, hungover12!
Things do seem a bit strange when we first get sober and the cravings can be pretty strong, but if you give it a chance, you'll find that there's a whole world out there that doesn't revolve around alcohol/partying.
I had to remove myself from the drinking crowd for a month or two. It does take some maneuvering, but it's worth it. Just take it one day at a time, and do whatever you have to do to get through the day sober.
You're making a decision to be the best you can be and I commend you!
Things do seem a bit strange when we first get sober and the cravings can be pretty strong, but if you give it a chance, you'll find that there's a whole world out there that doesn't revolve around alcohol/partying.
I had to remove myself from the drinking crowd for a month or two. It does take some maneuvering, but it's worth it. Just take it one day at a time, and do whatever you have to do to get through the day sober.
You're making a decision to be the best you can be and I commend you!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
