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How to get out of going to the bars for work?

Old 12-10-2011, 06:53 AM
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How to get out of going to the bars for work?

We have this client who wants to bring about a dozen people from my company to dinner and the bars tonight. I said yes 2 weeks ago because well...it's work related. I plan to go to dinner tonight but I really don't want to go to the bars. (12 days sober) I'm pretty sure I'm the only one.

I don't *think* I'll drink if I go out with them, but then again I can't be too sure of myself. Usually "just 1 beer" turns into months of drinking so I just want to avoid it all together. What do you guys say in a situation like this? I thought about saying I haven't been feeling well so I need to head home after dinner.
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Old 12-10-2011, 07:01 AM
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You could say u are on meds & can't drink or say u have a family obligation u need to get to. Congrats on the sober time & do whatever it takes to protect your quit!
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Old 12-10-2011, 07:13 AM
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I wouldn't lie. After all being sober is about becoming honest with yourself and others. But they dont need to know everything either. Simply say your have some personal issues that you need to take care of, and you wont be able to join them at the bar.

They don't need to know the reason. After all its a "Personal Issue"
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Old 12-10-2011, 07:39 AM
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Thanks, good suggestions so far. I have until 5pm to decide what to say. Last year I went out with this client + the guys from work, I got so drunk that I spent the night sleeping in the back seat of my car in a parking garage downtown. Woke up, walked to a bar for 2 bloody marys, then drove home and drank more. I would be a happy guy if this didn't repeat itself!
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Old 12-10-2011, 07:46 AM
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Say you quit, to simply preserve your health, and leave early. I quit alcohol and cigarettes because they are bad for my health. Does that sound weird? No. But it sure sounds weird to alcoholics.
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Old 12-10-2011, 07:49 AM
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I think there are some good suggestions here too, mwstylee. I think it's perfectly acceptable for you to do dinner and beg off the bars.
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Old 12-10-2011, 08:06 AM
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Just say that you'd be happy to go to dinner but you changed your mind about going to the bar. If they ask why just say "I changed my mind". It's none of their business.
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Old 12-10-2011, 03:15 PM
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Headed out the door - thought I'd post here quickly for accountability.
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Old 12-10-2011, 03:35 PM
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I hope you leave after dinner and go home.

And, I hope you don't lie about why you're not drinking, and I hope you don't feel obligated to give a reason for not drinking.
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Old 12-10-2011, 09:47 PM
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Well I'm back home. Disappointed myself even though I didn't drink - I ended up going to the bar but just had a Sprite. The atmosphere was just so happy and I really like all these people, we were all having a great time so I just said to hell with it, I'll put my will to the test. Had a sprite and didn't even get charged for it.

It blew my mind that not a single person questioned my drink or asked why I wasn't drinking. Seriously - I'm still really, really shocked. I did duck out early, I know these guys were going to stay until bar close. They were hammered by the time I left. I still had a great time sober.

Overall I am happy I didn't drink. I am extremely mad at myself for not going home after dinner. It did cross my mind a few times "1 beer won't hurt". Then I had to internally rationalize what that 1 beer would lead to, in order to make my logic go full circle and decide NO. I don't really want to put myself to the test again anytime soon.
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Old 12-10-2011, 10:06 PM
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I played that card many times - I knew I should go straight home - but I'd stuck around...it was almost fatalistic in a way...I can still hear the thought....'whatever happens, happens'.

Sure enough nearly every time, the inevitable happened.
Good for you for not doing that mwstylee

D
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Old 12-10-2011, 10:09 PM
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Good for you for not drinking.

I think the thing you want to be careful of is that alcoholic side of your brain, saying "Well it was OK to go that one time so you might as well go again." You don't have anything to prove going forward, just chalk it up as a learning experience.

Well done!
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Old 12-10-2011, 10:14 PM
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
I played that card many times - I knew I should go straight home - but I'd stuck around...it was almost fatalistic in a way...I can still hear the thought....'whatever happens, happens'.

Sure enough nearly every time, the inevitable happened.
Good for you for not doing that mwstylee

D
You are definitely right. I feel like I let myself down by not sticking to my guns. I hope to apply what I learned from tonight to the next similar event I have to attend. DON'T go to the bar, don't even give myself the chance to fail. I've been feeling on top of the world since quitting so I've been trying to use the constant great mood as propulsion for staying sober. Just can't be making stupid choices like this again anytime soon.
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