EDHARLEY

The first 48 were unbeleviable.. I had so much anxiety couldn't breath etc.. I read a lot of wonderful great posts on this site and it really does work.. Its not over at all but I literally thought that I was going to fall apart for a while.. baby steps.. I walked for three hours today.. Now to tonight. I cannot wait to feel just as little bit as good as I did on day 5..

sissy07

Ed,

You know you will feel a lot better in time. What I did one time that I relapsed is I wrote myself a letter begging myself to quit drinking and describing to myself how I felt. I don't know if that would help you, but it is the last time I relapsed, and it has been almost four months.

This battle is not for sissies (even though that is my screenname)! Take care....we are with you.

Sapling

What are you considering for recovery Ed...You sound just like I did 5 months ago...I needed some serious change and I sought that out....I mean I've never heard of walking yourself to recovery....Do you have any ideas?

EDHARLEY

I am not sure.. I know that I cannot do it "my way" I do know that this site works for me.. but i also know that it only works for me if I work it. I intend to spend the next three weeks at home and then start going to AA.. but I have some hang ups like everyone does about that. I felt a lot better when I did my 30 days last time.. I am not sure I guess I need to write an action plan. Any ideas. I have a lot of free time. I was not an AA person honestly.

Dee74

why are you waiting 3 weeks Ed? I don't get it?

D

sugarbear1

I fought AA for a long time. I guess my alcoholism got to a point where I was desperate enough to stop, found someone to guide me through the 12 steps in 2 days, and not a craving since day 15!

Best wishes on your sober journey!

Sapling

Yeah...I had major hangups with it...I also know I was going to die if I kept on doing what I was doing...Take your choice...If I could give you any advice that might save your life...I'd tell you to go to a meeting tonight....You don't have to say anything...Just sit there and listen.

Dana0828

Hi Ed! Glad you are feeling better. Did you have any other symptoms other than anxiety?

EDHARLEY

I am not waiting three weeks, I am just going to go home for the holidays..
I guess everyone made some good points I might have to no do it my way..
As for the anxiety.. I feel like a I have a ton of bricks on my chest, find myself breathing heavy.. rethinking everything and panicking.. I think that the workd is falling in around me.. I used to only get it when I would do hard drugs like coke and X so I stopped those.. then I got it if I went out and made a fool of myself but I have not done that.. now if I drink I get anxiety so bad it crushes me for days..
Thanks everyone for your support.

Sapling

Why not go to a meeting tonight...You're not leaving tonight right...Just listen to what they say...People that got out of where you are right now...That's what I did. It' worked...Get out of your head for a bit.

Hevyn

Very glad to see you're feeling a bit better, Ed. I hope you'll never, ever put yourself through this again. I know I can't. I like Sissy's idea of writing down how you feel. It fades with time, and we need to remember the hell we put ourselves through.

debsam

Glad you're feeling better.

If you're anything like me, (sounds like you are) the anxiety nearly destroyed me. It only gets worse...far worse. I will never feel like that again.

Big hug x

Tigger41

Ed great job - I'm sure it will start to get better.

ru12

Hi Ed, good job so far. Lots of people recover from drinking without AA. You could try SOS, SMART, Rational Recover . . . there are lots of options. Or you could just stop drinking and get on with your life.

Sapling

Whatever works....What worked for you Ru? I'm pretty new to this.