Jenners

I have gone from sad to scared a few days ago to hopeful, and even felt a little triumphant today as I began day three, feeling positive, no real withdrawal symptoms other than just missing the feeling of that initial glow.

Yet I just went grocery shopping and could not seem to help but buy a bottle of wine from the wine store in the grocery store. Okay maybe it was two. I just felt panicked about not having any in the house. My day one, Thursday, wasn't too bad because I had a seminar in the evening and didn't get home until 9:30, dead tired, and last night I had company (even though she was having wine) but today the kids have been high maintenance, it's Saturday night, my husband is still away until tomorrow night and I feel like I deserve some wine and a movie. Blah.

artsoul

You came here - and that is huge......

It always happens that when we feel good again, the first thing we want to do is drink.

Get rid of the wine - seriously, you don't want it. It's the addiction kicking in like it always does, telling you all you need to do is change your mood. You know it's only going to work for an hour or two before you start beating yourself up. Think about the end result and the way you're going to feel hours from now and tomorrow.

Do something else - take a nap, get a milkshake, start reading posts (and don't quit until you feel grounded again). We're here for you.

eJoshua

Pour it out! You don't need it, it's only going to make life worse and recovery harder.

Zencat

I know how it goes from alcohol is all consuming and making life miserable. To I have had a stressful day and I deserve to get drunk. That's alcoholism, the addicted mind will do whatever it takes to get that next drink.

Dump the wine, focus back on your recovery program and realize that you can stop drinking, stayed stopped and have a far better life that you can imagine just by living life alcohol free.

You can do it because your worth it.

harleyq

Dump the wine. Imagine how proud of yourself you will feel afterwards.

Fandy

take the wine back to the store, get a refund and spend the $$ on somehting ELSE nice/relaxing for yourself....like a pedicure? or a babysitter for a few hours.

phil

Because you love to drink, thats why you bought it. Its a crutch been that way for years, routine if you will...Funny but I didnt go down the beer isle in the grocery store for more that a year or so after quitting. Family didnt invite me to outtings if alcohol was there. No alcohol of any sort was allowed in my house and so on. The seriousness of this is critical for early sobriety. Whatever you do remember this and if you do pour it out wonderful. My feeling is that you knew it was the wrong thing to do even before you walked in the store. Knew also that you would pick it up, buy it and carry it home. Regret in doing so prolly started to hit at the check-out and now your here.

Look there is nothing stopping any of us from buying some alcohol today. Its easy its everywhere! Its our sobriety, our decisions and our fate. Michigan playin the buckeyes today, do you have any idea how many of these games I watched in a bar? Im not there because I cant, not because i dont want to be and the faster you realize this step the easier you will be able to walk right past that isle.

now go pour the crap out

version2

Pour it out Jenners. We're here for you.

PaleMale

"We have no defense against the fist drink." Realizing this is the beginning of recovery. Gaining tools to help us defend ourselves from the "subtle insanity" is what all recovery program attempt to help us achieve.

I like the AVRT statement as well, "We never drink, ever. We will never drink again. Ever. No matter what." The finality of this I have found very helpful.

I hope you get rid of the booze. It's certainly a struggle at first. You can do it!

dun

i like the idea of taking back the wine or throwing it out. I am scared to open it to pour it out.

Jenners

I hadn't even planned on buying it. Here in Canada the wine is not actually in the aisles. After you go through the regular checkout, there is a little separate store on the way out that sells it separately. My young daughter asked "mom, do you need wine" because she is so used to asking (I know, I know, hanging my head in shame) and I thought, "maybe I should just in case". I have put it out in the garage. I don't want to return it because the sales lady will think I am nuts because I am totally a regular and I don't want to dump it because it seems like such a waste. Am thinking I could hold onto it until the holidays to give away. That sounds stupid, doesn't it

eJoshua

That doesn't sound stupid, but it does sound like your addiction is trying to bargain with you.

sissy07

You are setting yourself up, big time. Get rid of it please.

Fandy

when i do buy alcohol for others, it goes to my brother's house or my good friends to sit. out of reach, it's just practical and safe. you might feel like drinking later and how far is the garage really? but you won't go knocking on someone's door at 10PM..or would you? (i'd be too embarrassed). that's the only thing i can tell you if you don't want to "waste it"...but it might waste you too.

it's really up to you...you bought for a reason, now you are playing Lets Make a Deal.

Jenners

It's so dumb, I feel safer with it here, even though in reality that is the farthest from the truth.

phil

Sure I guess!! thats why we are nuts LOL... My point is or was is that in the back of our screwed up minds we know what were going to do before we do it and you do too. Ive relapsed enough before getting sober to define the insanity part of disease. I would buy pints and slip em in my coat pocket so my wife didnt see em. or take a sip of rum exract..(whoaaaa) powerful stuff. How about this when I wanted to drink no man woman or child could stop me! Its cheap, its everywhere and if i want it its mine. A few times I relapsed I knew I was going to drink at that wedding, I knew I was going to drink at that party if I went. Our ability to stay away from alcohol is tested at every curve.

The good news is we all do it and its part of sobriety, I stumbled eneough for you so dont feel bad. Sorry Ive turned into this straighter shooter kinda guy and dont mind just sayin what I think.

So what are you going to do now.. You say save it for a gift. Dont you think thats a bit silly when your barely a few days sober and you could drink it.

Mind If I tell you a short story... Think I will!!

Years ago prolly 2005/ 2006 I was still in the rooms. I went to this meeting across town bout 10-15 miles from home and I seen this guy share about the program and share his story. I bet he shared 5 times this meeting, he could talk the talk and knew the walkand guess what? On the way home I stopped at a carryout about a mile from my house and seen him in the buying a 12 packof beer.

Even though you say you dont want to drink thats not true.. we all want to drink. When you say you cant drink however and dump the crap thats sobriety talking. Whatever you do dont drink today and good luck to you

Anna

It's a big mistake to buy and/or keep wine in the house. That's my feeling, anyways.

I hope you choose to get rid of it.

Fandy

you're only 3 days sober....you are walking on very thin WATER. not even ice.
You're an adult, you bought 2 bottles of wine. you are home for the evening with your kids. i'm sorry, i don't want to sound skeptical, but i think you are setting yourself up to drink.

i've been there too.(the glow fades believe me) do you want to start back at square one? or do you want to wake up for sober day 4?

there is no "safety" in having booze in the house. quite the opposite. really. i hope you don't.

Tigger41

You are not safer with it here that is the addictive mind speaking. Dump it OUT!!
(chanting) dump it - dump it - dump it

Vantrina

Jenners, I read once on SR a strategy that has helped me. It is the "play the tape through to the end" approach. don't just think about what it is like to have the wine in the house or how you think you need it.

Play the tape till the end, think about the end result…how drinking that wine will eventually make you sick. You'll feel and look like hell and will probably be full of regret. Get rid of the wine. Three days sober is significant. Play that tape through till the end.

Think a

Don't give in to the voices. Keep posting