I'm a little worried.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 11
I'm a little worried.
Hello, my name is Heather...I turned 21 Feb 14th, 2011. For awhile I was enjoying being 21 and going out to bars on the weekends, but for the past couple of months I've really started to worry about myself. It went from enjoying myself on the weekends to actually scheming for money to buy liquor. I can't remember the last night I spent sober. I drink when I'm with friends, and when I'm at home by myself. When I'm at work I anticipate and crave my next opportunity to have a drink. I feel like I'm too young to have this weighing on me, but I've actually stolen money from family to buy alcohol. I honestly enjoy drinking in social situations and I don't want this to spiral out of control more than it already has, to the point where I can never drink anymore. I seriously just feel like alcohol is the only way I can FEEL anything deeply. I don't have a history of alcoholism in my family, although we all do drink moderately. Another thing that worries me is that when I think about starting a family I automatically think about how hard of a time I'd have going an entire pregnancy without a drink. I just feel like that's not something I just think so strongly about.. Any suggestions or advice you have for me would be much appreciated.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: CA
Posts: 176
I don't understand what you mean about needing alcohol to feel things deeply. Usually, it has a numbing effect (at least in my experience).
Have you tried cutting back on your drinking? If you haven't, then try that first. If you have tried and failed, then this is a good time to take a hard, honest look at this problem (it's a problem when you can't stop and you're stealing money so that you can keep doing it) and consider whether or not you should cut it out of your life entirely. Anyway, this is a good place to figure this stuff out, so welcome!
Have you tried cutting back on your drinking? If you haven't, then try that first. If you have tried and failed, then this is a good time to take a hard, honest look at this problem (it's a problem when you can't stop and you're stealing money so that you can keep doing it) and consider whether or not you should cut it out of your life entirely. Anyway, this is a good place to figure this stuff out, so welcome!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 11
Originally Posted by sugarbear1 
Try not drinking. I never had a problem until I tried to stay stopped. Talk to a doctor first. Life is beautiful without alcohol!
I'm here to learn!
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: I'm on it!
Posts: 2,038
Hi Heather -
Welcome to SR! I'm 26, and I realized almost as soon as I turned 21 that I had a problem with drinking. At least, I realized on some level, but not enough to do anything about it. I drank a moderate amount in high school, but once I was able to buy it for myself my consumption skyrocketed, literally overnight. I felt much in the same way that you do, I was surprised at the time at my other friends who turned 21, how they would go out and get blasted the night of their 21st b-day and then wouldn't drink heavily for months afterwards, or years or never. I thought that just was so strange, but now I realize that that is the way that most people look at alcohol. Someone who drinks normally probably feels the same way about alcohol as I do about bowling: sure it's fun, but I don't feel the need to go out and bowl three games every day and I can't even remember the last time I went bowling. That's kind of goofy, but I think you get the idea.
Anyways, I think it's wise of you to start questioning how you have been drinking even though it has only been a short amount of time that you feel that you have been abusing it. I think trying to quit at 21 is very very difficult, but I do know people that have done it. It's hard enough at 26, but at least for most 26 year olds the newness of it has kind of worn off.
Whatever you decide to do, you are certainly welcome to post here and we are happy to support you! Most people here will attest to the fact that where ever they started with drinking, it always got worse until they got sober, which is what people mean when they say that alcoholism is a progressive disease. It is possibly to break the cycle though.
I didn't use to think that I felt anything unless I was drunk or I wouldn't have any fun unless I was drunk, but after now 5 months being sober I realize that the exact opposite is true -- I know that whatever feelings I had while in my addiction were skewed, and any fun I had was rather pathetic, fleeting and damaging.
I've been where you're at, and believe me there is hope. Life sober is so much better than life at the bottom of a bottle. Best wishes to you.
Welcome to SR! I'm 26, and I realized almost as soon as I turned 21 that I had a problem with drinking. At least, I realized on some level, but not enough to do anything about it. I drank a moderate amount in high school, but once I was able to buy it for myself my consumption skyrocketed, literally overnight. I felt much in the same way that you do, I was surprised at the time at my other friends who turned 21, how they would go out and get blasted the night of their 21st b-day and then wouldn't drink heavily for months afterwards, or years or never. I thought that just was so strange, but now I realize that that is the way that most people look at alcohol. Someone who drinks normally probably feels the same way about alcohol as I do about bowling: sure it's fun, but I don't feel the need to go out and bowl three games every day and I can't even remember the last time I went bowling. That's kind of goofy, but I think you get the idea.
Anyways, I think it's wise of you to start questioning how you have been drinking even though it has only been a short amount of time that you feel that you have been abusing it. I think trying to quit at 21 is very very difficult, but I do know people that have done it. It's hard enough at 26, but at least for most 26 year olds the newness of it has kind of worn off.
Whatever you decide to do, you are certainly welcome to post here and we are happy to support you! Most people here will attest to the fact that where ever they started with drinking, it always got worse until they got sober, which is what people mean when they say that alcoholism is a progressive disease. It is possibly to break the cycle though.
I didn't use to think that I felt anything unless I was drunk or I wouldn't have any fun unless I was drunk, but after now 5 months being sober I realize that the exact opposite is true -- I know that whatever feelings I had while in my addiction were skewed, and any fun I had was rather pathetic, fleeting and damaging.
I've been where you're at, and believe me there is hope. Life sober is so much better than life at the bottom of a bottle. Best wishes to you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 11
Originally Posted by NightsWatch
I don't understand what you mean about needing alcohol to feel things deeply. Usually, it has a numbing effect (at least in my experience).
Have you tried cutting back on your drinking? If you haven't, then try that first. If you have tried and failed, then this is a good time to take a hard, honest look at this problem (it's a problem when you can't stop and you're stealing money so that you can keep doing it) and consider whether or not you should cut it out of your life entirely. Anyway, this is a good place to figure this stuff out, so welcome!
Have you tried cutting back on your drinking? If you haven't, then try that first. If you have tried and failed, then this is a good time to take a hard, honest look at this problem (it's a problem when you can't stop and you're stealing money so that you can keep doing it) and consider whether or not you should cut it out of your life entirely. Anyway, this is a good place to figure this stuff out, so welcome!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Hi Heather
Welcome to SR
sounds like a few pretty serious red flags there - constant thoughts, stealing money, every night drinking...using alcohol to feel things - are you sure it wouldn't be in your best interests not to drink anymore?
I didn't want to quit either - but eventually the evidence that alcohol and I were a bad bad match was too great to ignore.
Best of luck with whatever you decide - just don't take 20 years on it like I did
D
Welcome to SR
sounds like a few pretty serious red flags there - constant thoughts, stealing money, every night drinking...using alcohol to feel things - are you sure it wouldn't be in your best interests not to drink anymore?
I didn't want to quit either - but eventually the evidence that alcohol and I were a bad bad match was too great to ignore.
Best of luck with whatever you decide - just don't take 20 years on it like I did
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
I can relate, Heather. I used to feel such emotions when drinking—just about any song could prompt a wave of intense emotion and profound thoughts. But you know what? Looking back those feelings were both superficial and artificial. They weren't real at all. It's like on silly comedies, when one character gets really drunk and starts telling all his buddies how much he loves them. It makes for a good scene in a sitcom, but it's no substitute for genuine feelings.
I also think my sober hours were flattened out, emotionally speaking, by all the drinking I did the night before. I was basically depressed because of all the drinking. Which of course led me to drink again, so I could lift my mood for a while.... pretty crazy, I know.
Anyway, glad you found us. Welcome to SR.
I also think my sober hours were flattened out, emotionally speaking, by all the drinking I did the night before. I was basically depressed because of all the drinking. Which of course led me to drink again, so I could lift my mood for a while.... pretty crazy, I know.
Anyway, glad you found us. Welcome to SR.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 11
Originally Posted by ReadyAndAble
I can relate, Heather. I used to feel such emotions when drinking—just about any song could prompt a wave of intense emotion and profound thoughts. But you know what? Looking back those feelings were both superficial and artificial. They weren't real at all. It's like on silly comedies, when one character gets really drunk and starts telling all his buddies how much he loves them. It makes for a good scene in a sitcom, but it's no substitute for genuine feelings.
I also think my sober hours were flattened out, emotionally speaking, by all the drinking I did the night before. I was basically depressed because of all the drinking. Which of course led me to drink again, so I could lift my mood for a while.... pretty crazy, I know.
Anyway, glad you found us. Welcome to SR.
I also think my sober hours were flattened out, emotionally speaking, by all the drinking I did the night before. I was basically depressed because of all the drinking. Which of course led me to drink again, so I could lift my mood for a while.... pretty crazy, I know.
Anyway, glad you found us. Welcome to SR.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
By the way, not sure if you saw the message, but the site is supposed to go offline for four hours starting at 10 Pacific time for some sort of maintenance. Hope that doesn't discourage you from coming back tomorrow!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
lol, put enough drinks in me and I would have teared up watching the "The 40 Year Old Virgin"!
I certainly hear you, but personally I like it better now. I feel real emotions about real things. And I feel a lot better about myself.
I certainly hear you, but personally I like it better now. I feel real emotions about real things. And I feel a lot better about myself.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Florida
Posts: 14
Woo .. tough one hun! I once thought I had an alcohol problem as well but I got pregnant very quickly after turning 21 and I stopped drinking until I had the baby and it was no big deal for me.. however after my lil girl was born I ended up with all the pressure of taking care of her by myself.. being a first time parent it was scary! My bf was living with us he just worked a lot and was to stressed by it all (so he would go out with the guys that was his way of relieving the stress and left me to do all haha)..Anyways I started drinking wine every night with dinner and this was by myself as well. I finally got to the point where I stopped on my own and didn't need the wine or think about it. I mean I stilll like to have it every once in awhile but my problem became Pills so I am on the other side of the board lol! However I do know that if you feel you need to be numbed by the alcohol all the time or if you steal money for alcohol than maybe there is an issue and you definatly should try and either cut back as some have mentioned or just try to stop all together. I found for me it was the stress that was making me want the wine so I could relax.. mind you I wasn't turning to hard liquor but everyone has there thing you know? When you turn 21 it is exciting to be able to flash that ID and try drinks and finally be able to go to a club that was only 21 and up .. so I know exactly how you feel but I would definatly consider what the others have said here and see how u feel after trying to cut back or stop. If you cant.. then there may be a reason for u to stay here on the board Welcome and I hope all turns out fine and you are just experiencing the rush of being 21
Welcome and I hope all turns out fine and you are just experiencing the rush of being 21 instant
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,711
My understanding is that the capacity to develop craving (intense desire to consume the drug ) is biological and determined by our genetic programming. Ongoing use will make the cravings worse and drive us to use more even though we "know" it does not make sense.
It is easily forgotten in our societies that alcohol is an addictive substance.
It is easily forgotten in our societies that alcohol is an addictive substance.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: NS, Canada
Posts: 160
Hey there ... I know exactly how you're feeling. I'm 46 and began to put that much "importance" on alcohol some time in my 20s, although I kept it to weekends for awhile, then a few on weeknights, and it became my LIFE after awhile - looking forward to relaxing, or going out, and eventually finding extra money and sneaking them, drinking alone, "feeling" while listening to music .... It was like "wow - this alcohol thing is awesome - and legal to boot. I need this in my life to make me feel good, relax, escape ... it's so easy ..."
But .. to use a cliche .. "If it feels too good to be true, it probably is" ... and this is.
As a (finally) recovering alcoholic whose liver shut down because of it - my best advice to you, especially at your great young age, is --> Make the "importance" of alcohol stop NOW, while you still can fairly easily, with help or without help. It has to become un-important to you. It is NOT important, but alcohol has a sneaky way of making you think and feel that it is important. It's NOT. You know it's not.
There are so many other things that feel good and happy .. friends, education, job, love, family .. Get rid of alcohol's "importance" now before those other great and truly important things start getting pushed aside. I know you know that it doesn't relaly make you feel things more deeply - it just lets you feel differently while feeling things more deeply, and that feels good - but believe me, it won't continue that way. Lots of other things feel good, and don't harm in the short-term, but will kill you, or make you crazy, damage your brain, or make you FAT, damage your self-confidence, etc. etc. -- things like drugs, prescription or not, chocolate, sex, and the list goes on.
.... Making any of those things "important" in your life is a very VERY BAD thing - and you know it is. It WILL ruin at least parts of your life, eventually, if not your whole life.
Sorry if that sounds ugly ... but I guess it is just that.
On the UP-side .... GOOD for you for recognizing this. That is SUCH a smart thing. A lot of people still in their early 20s have that "live my life now while I can" attitude, and "nothing bad will ever happen to me". You're being so smart about this. Use that!
Best of luck to you .. your life is really just beginning - take it somewhere awesome!
But .. to use a cliche .. "If it feels too good to be true, it probably is" ... and this is.
As a (finally) recovering alcoholic whose liver shut down because of it - my best advice to you, especially at your great young age, is --> Make the "importance" of alcohol stop NOW, while you still can fairly easily, with help or without help. It has to become un-important to you. It is NOT important, but alcohol has a sneaky way of making you think and feel that it is important. It's NOT. You know it's not.
There are so many other things that feel good and happy .. friends, education, job, love, family .. Get rid of alcohol's "importance" now before those other great and truly important things start getting pushed aside. I know you know that it doesn't relaly make you feel things more deeply - it just lets you feel differently while feeling things more deeply, and that feels good - but believe me, it won't continue that way. Lots of other things feel good, and don't harm in the short-term, but will kill you, or make you crazy, damage your brain, or make you FAT, damage your self-confidence, etc. etc. -- things like drugs, prescription or not, chocolate, sex, and the list goes on.
.... Making any of those things "important" in your life is a very VERY BAD thing - and you know it is. It WILL ruin at least parts of your life, eventually, if not your whole life.
Sorry if that sounds ugly ... but I guess it is just that.
On the UP-side .... GOOD for you for recognizing this. That is SUCH a smart thing. A lot of people still in their early 20s have that "live my life now while I can" attitude, and "nothing bad will ever happen to me". You're being so smart about this. Use that!
Best of luck to you .. your life is really just beginning - take it somewhere awesome!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
