Lost my beloved beagirl today
bona fido dog-lover
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,798
Lost my beloved beagirl today
Had to put my elderly beagirl down today. I'd noticed over the last year she was slipping away but the last couple weeks it started happening faster. Every day she was less able and more confused. I finally decided to put her out of her misery before she was truly miserable. I didn't want to wait until she was suffering before I helped her.
It was so hard to watch her go. We've had her thirteen years and they were wonderful years. She was canine royalty and had a great life. I know I did the right thing today but it sure hurts like hell anyway and my house seems so empty it almost echoes. Her absence screams from every room. It feels so odd to not see her lying around sleeping, her favorite sport in her old age.
I've noticed one thing in particular. During this whole process I've never once wanted to drink away the pain and loneliness of her passing. I was a good dog mom to her sober and want to stay that way for my remaining two dogs. I don't necessarily like these feelings but I want to be free to feel them. I don't want to close myself off from the world anymore. My goal in life is to be the person my dogs think I am. If I can even manage half as good I'll be a saint.
It was so hard to watch her go. We've had her thirteen years and they were wonderful years. She was canine royalty and had a great life. I know I did the right thing today but it sure hurts like hell anyway and my house seems so empty it almost echoes. Her absence screams from every room. It feels so odd to not see her lying around sleeping, her favorite sport in her old age.
I've noticed one thing in particular. During this whole process I've never once wanted to drink away the pain and loneliness of her passing. I was a good dog mom to her sober and want to stay that way for my remaining two dogs. I don't necessarily like these feelings but I want to be free to feel them. I don't want to close myself off from the world anymore. My goal in life is to be the person my dogs think I am.
If I can even manage half as good I'll be a saint. 
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
I know what you are going through, Least, as I've had to put away two beloved pets, including Wilma, the dog I've chosen for my Avatar picture. I hope I have your strength when my 14-year-old Sandy Girl's time comes. The grief shall pass. Embrace the memories.
--Carl
--Carl
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,928
Oh, Least, I'm so sorry. I loved little Beagirl, too. She was my computer background for a long time. I just loved that pic of her with her little arm around the kitty. She had a very good life with you and you brought each other much love and joy. I'm so sorry for your loss. 
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 207
Least - I am so sorry to hear about your loss. The breeder of one of my dogs told me when I had to make the decision for my first dog that you are better making the decision a day too early than a day too late. It was the hardest decision ever and my first real loss but I learned so much. My house (and my spirit) would have been so empty if it weren't for my other dog - and it was her who needed me to keep our routine rather than me sitting around feeling nothing was worthwhile without Rusty.
I was not sober back then but now I feel it is so important to experience the feelings rather than only half way. Processing loss is hard enough but when you remove yourself emotionally you take away the chance to work though the feelings - feelings that will be with you for life.
My thoughts are with you.
I was not sober back then but now I feel it is so important to experience the feelings rather than only half way. Processing loss is hard enough but when you remove yourself emotionally you take away the chance to work though the feelings - feelings that will be with you for life.
My thoughts are with you.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: California
Posts: 624
Least...I am so sorry. Having a senior dog myself, I understand how much they give to you and the unconditional love they bring to your life through solid companionship.
I found a beautiful poem about saying goodbye. I have to admit, I read it and shed some tears..thinking about you, and all the people who own furries in their twilight years. You are so strong. Big hugs.
Sweet Goodbye
You’re giving me a special gift,
So sorrowfully endowed,
And through these last cherished days,
Your courage makes me proud.
But really, love is knowing
When your best friend is in pain,
And understanding earthly acts
Will only be in vain.
So, looking deep into your eyes,
Beyond, into your soul,
I see, in you, the magic, that will
Once more, make me whole
The strength that you possess,
Is why I look to you today,
To do this thing that must be done
For it’s the only way.
That strength is why I’ve followed you,
And chose you as my friend,
And why I’ve loved you all these years….
My partner ‘til the end.
Please, understand just what this gift,
You’re giving, means to me,
It gives me back the strength I’ve lost,
And all my dignity.
You take a stand on my behalf,
For that is what friends do.
And know that what you do is right,
For I believe it, too.
So, one last time,
I breathe your scent,
And through your hand I feel,
The courage that’s within you,
To now grant me this appeal.
Cut the leash that holds me here,
Dear friend, and let me run,
Once more a strong and steady dog,
My pain and struggle done.
Please, don’t despair my passing
For I won’t be far away.
Forever here, within your heart,
And memory, I’ll stay.
I’ll be there, watching over you,
Your ever faithful friend,
And in your memories, I’ll run,
…. A young dog, once again.
---Author unknown
I found a beautiful poem about saying goodbye. I have to admit, I read it and shed some tears..thinking about you, and all the people who own furries in their twilight years. You are so strong. Big hugs.
Sweet Goodbye
You’re giving me a special gift,
So sorrowfully endowed,
And through these last cherished days,
Your courage makes me proud.
But really, love is knowing
When your best friend is in pain,
And understanding earthly acts
Will only be in vain.
So, looking deep into your eyes,
Beyond, into your soul,
I see, in you, the magic, that will
Once more, make me whole
The strength that you possess,
Is why I look to you today,
To do this thing that must be done
For it’s the only way.
That strength is why I’ve followed you,
And chose you as my friend,
And why I’ve loved you all these years….
My partner ‘til the end.
Please, understand just what this gift,
You’re giving, means to me,
It gives me back the strength I’ve lost,
And all my dignity.
You take a stand on my behalf,
For that is what friends do.
And know that what you do is right,
For I believe it, too.
So, one last time,
I breathe your scent,
And through your hand I feel,
The courage that’s within you,
To now grant me this appeal.
Cut the leash that holds me here,
Dear friend, and let me run,
Once more a strong and steady dog,
My pain and struggle done.
Please, don’t despair my passing
For I won’t be far away.
Forever here, within your heart,
And memory, I’ll stay.
I’ll be there, watching over you,
Your ever faithful friend,
And in your memories, I’ll run,
…. A young dog, once again.
---Author unknown
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Bowling Green KY
Posts: 275
Bless you least. All of us that have had long time pets know the pain of losing a family member. And that is what they are.
That you made an obviously difficult decision to lessen her pain speaks volumes about what a good person you are.
David.
That you made an obviously difficult decision to lessen her pain speaks volumes about what a good person you are.
David.
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