LittleChris

Hi all,

So this is my first time in soberity and I've managed to remain sober for almost 5 months. Four of those months were spent with my family, and the last month I've returned to my apt away from family and alone. I'm finding it very difficult to cope with soberity alone and in a big city where everyone goes out to the bars as their main social activity. While my friends are not alcoholics, they do drink so I've been unable to go out with them - instead I stay in all the time. In the process, I am getting extremely depressed feeling isolated and I feel my life is no better off sober than when I was drunk. I have gone to two AA meetings and feel even more alone b/c I'm too shy, and somewhat stubborn, to ask for help - I just leave right after the meeting. Overall, I feel my desire to maintain sober is slipping...more than anything I struggle with the boredom I feel in soberity. Does this go away in time? Any suggestions to maintain soberity without getting utterly bored and depressed?

Thanks,

LittleChris

Jitterbugg

I understand where you are right now Littlechris. I am entering my 5th month of sobriety too. I finished in-patient rehab in June and have been staying with my parents since. I am so bored and depressed, mainly due to the isolation. I have no social life and Im not working. My friends dont know that I am recovering from alcoholism at my parents, so I dont talk to anyone really. They are starting to wonder why they havent seen me in a while, but my sobriety depends on hiding out at my family's place for now. The boredom is killing me!

MycoolFitz

Good going on the almost 5 months sobriety. Hopefully you're recovering as well. I too am alone and a full blown introvert. By nature its easier for me to sit at home alone, not drinking but feeling lonely and maybe let down--I'm sober why am I not happy. I think that's the recovering aspect. I have to do more than just not drink. I need to make life adjustments--physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. I'm working (and I do mean working) at restablishing pre-alcoholic interests and behaviors as well as seeking out new ones. I'm learning I can often be alone without having to be lonely. I am working (again the work) at engaging in the world around me--in ways that are not too threatening, but do require me to leave my comfort zone a bit--especially the comfort zone I created through drinking. I work at keeping busy and productive and relearning how to live. I've got a long ways to go but a lifetime to get there. Again, great on your time. Keep it up and keep working it.

NoFireWater

I've worked for years in the restaurant business, and I've noticed that many of the people that attend karaoke and comedy nights are often non-drinkers. They also seem to form nice group friendships, and many people go on their own. Maybe there's something like that in your area? Also check out local singles groups-they don't seem to attract a big drinking crowd either and do a lot of activities that don't involve alcohol. It might be nice to start with some strangers with a clean slate until you can socialize with friends again comfortably. Netflix is your friend as well-movies are great to take away the boredom. You are all doing really well!!

PaleMale

Before I started attending AA meetings, I didn't know ANYONE who didn't drink. Meetings became a place I could go to be with folks who understand a part of my struggle, as well as do things that don't involve drink. Many pretty ladies as well.

I'll suggest sticking it out at a meeting or 2 and see about getting coffee with a few folks afterward. Shyness can be a demon. And Isolation surely is. You don't have to do it alone and lonely, but taking steps to ease into a comfort zone can really be a great experience. One you deserve! Personally, I couldn't go 5 days without a drink on my own...

Good on you for 5 months! Congrats.

sugarbear1

Keep coming back! We all have shyness, fears, lonliness. If nothing changes, nothing changes. I can't make friends online who can meet me for coffee around the corner, yet I ate breakfast with a group between 2 awesome meetings! If the meeting isn't helping, then can I add to it to make it better?

Keep coming back! It works if you work it!!

sugarbear1

Just had a text invite from an AA friend...wow!

nodl5

glad you found this place.

i have been known to isolate myself. i often feel misunderstood, especially at AA. it seems that people are not listening to me or i am for some reason so far gone that i can no longer communicate effectively. i doubt the latter, but after 59 days of not drinking i am confused and feel lost. i hear, keep going to meetings, don't drink and good things will happen. i have to trust that.

i can't see anything good coming from drinking. i might feel relaxed and okay for an hour or two, but i know i will drink too much and then the cycle will begin again.

i have found a morning group that has welcomed me. i trust the God of my understanding to take care of it. that might sound looney, but it works for me, today!

:-)

Dee74

Welcome Chris
Congratulations on 5 months

I was stuck too. I was isolated and didn't know what to do with myself or my time when I wasn't drinking anymore.

Thank goodness someone here reminded me that my life was what I made it.

I had to cut myself loose from almost all of my heavy drinking social circle...I had to start again.

I reconnected with old friends, ones who did not drink to live...I resurrected old hobbies, cultivated new interests...

Volunteering was an especially good way for me to get back out there and connect with people, while also doing something useful to others, and meaningful to me.

I thought about the things I wanted to do with my time, and I did them. I made my life, as much as possible what I wanted it to be.

I really believe we're only limited by your imaginations Chris

D