desire2befree

I have decided to quit drinking as of today. What has been happening lately is unacceptable. I am most confident that I have found the right place for support. I have been an alcoholic for about 6 years. I don't remember exactly how long due to the alcohol destroying my memory. Not only my memory, but my life (at least, that's the way I see it). Today is going to be the first day of the rest of my life. My caring is gone, my drive is gone, my energy is gone, and I want it all back. I have a twin sister who has been an alcoholic for years and I have decided that her and I will not be the same. When I was not an alcoholic, I tried everything I could think of to help her, but I failed. How I became an alcoholic, well, I'm not sure. A means to cope perhaps. Nevertheless, I did it, so I must undo it. I know it won't be easy, but I absolutely have to try. I can't stand the way I am now. I don't enjoy anything, but I want to. I want to be able to wake up in the morning feeling good. I want to be able to enjoy cooking again. I want to be able to enjoy being around people again. I want to get back to church and join groups and be helpful to people again. I want to feel good about myself again when I get something accomplished. My old way of thinking (before being alcoholic) was that the little things in life meant so much to me. I was grateful and appreciative. These days, I don't care. I want my old self back.

Englishrose70

Desire2bfree, I was you exactly one week ago, my reasons were pretty much the same as you. You have come to the right place. I have been sober for a whole week it must be a year or more since I was able to achieve that and the support on this site is incredible.

It sounds like you are totally sick and tired of being sick and tired and that is the perfect place to start.

Introduce yourself to the class of July and come and join all those who have decided to make the decision you have made today this month.

Just make a promise, just for today I will not drink. Day by day. Thats all you need to do, hour by hour. Remember and the withdrawl you feel, that is the monster inside you begging you to feed him, he knows you're killing him and so he will tempt you to feed him. Dont give him the satisfaction.

This analogy has helped me loads. There is also a quote from the Shawshank Redemption that resounded with me.

EVERYDAY I AM SOBER COUNTS. GET BUSY LIVING OR GET BUSY DYING

Welcome, you are in the right place

rae123

welcome desire2befree!

i too could have wrote your intro. you really are starting in the right place. 9 days ago i came to sr & my life since has been better for it.

just like englishrose said, just think about today. we are all in this together & we can do it!

Soberpotamus

Welcome to SR Desire2befree

desire2befree

How do I join the class of July?

ceneri

Welcome!
I'm too green to advise, but I've read enough to believe you can and will get all those things back you desire.
-peace

ceneri

Class of july is a thread on this board, just open, read& post.

SDSurfn

You just did!


-SD

desire2befree

Oh! Thank you! LOL! Shows you just how new I am!

sobermax

Hello and welcome Desire2befree,

I'd like all the things you mention, and to live without fear again. Not possible if I were to drink.

Welcome to SR.

SM

desire2befree

Thank you, sobermax. I'll be here tomorrow and let y'all know how my first night goes. I'm also going to be talking about all this to my husband. I know it's only the first day and all, but I have to say after these first few posts here, I'm feeling optimistic. Thank you all!

newwings

Hi and welcome! I, too, could have written your first post.

Tomorrow I will be quietly celebrating 90 days of sobriety. I'm not doing AA, just reading and posting on SR (which I check in on at least twice a day). Being on this site with the support and wisdom of others has absolutely been the best thing that ever happened to me.

Life is SO much better sober. I wake feeling positive about the day ahead. I am clear headed, able to make decisions I trust, and I can now appreciate the small things around me once again. I have had no regrets about the past 89 days, none. I wish this sense of peace for you, too.

Dee74

Welcome desire2befree!

the class of July is here
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ly-2011-a.html

we also have a 2 weeks and under thread you may like to look at too
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...part-16-a.html

look forward to seeing you around

D

artsoul

So glad you found us, desire, and that you've decided to get your life back. Just a short time after coming here and getting sober, I felt like my soul started coming back. I had been functioning, but not living. And yes, waking up in the morning feeling good is a wonderful thing!:day6

I'm sorry to hear about your sister - I'm sure it's been hard. No one can keep another person from drinking, but your sobriety would certainly speak volumes.
Good luck on getting through the first night (just rest if you can't sleep - it still does you good). See ya tomorrow......

eJoshua

Welcome!

The first 30 days were the hardest for me. Stay vigilant, it's worth it! Don't forget to post here with status updates; this is a great place for support.

-Josh

desire2befree

Well guys, my first night went surprisingly well, I must say! I did keep waking up in the middle of the night, but I just laid still and thought of happy thoughts until I fell back to sleep. This morning, I woke up feeling refreshed so I used that energy to straighten and organize my office. I was, however, very tempted to drink because my triggers mostly happen in the evenings. I was, in fact, so tempted that I wanted to cry. I felt so weak. But I pressed on and kept myself busy with other things. I also talked with my husband about it and he is in full support! I know that I'm going to have bumps in this recovery road. I realize that. But thanks to my husband's support and your support, I feel confident. I know that there are going to be times when I am going to be tempted by that evil demon beyond my capabilities. That's where, I believe, I'll find out just how strong I am. Thank you all again for your encouraging words.

PaperDolls

Congrats on your first sober night! It's progress for sure!

And

Welcome to SR! Glad you found us.

artsoul

Great to hear that you got through day 1! The urges are going to be strong for a while, but you'll be getting stronger too each time you get through another one. Coming here every day really helped me stay motivated.

One day at a time.........

sobermax

Good work! Am delighted you made it through the day. Keep posting!

desire2befree

Last night was night #2. It went a little better than the first night. I have a day planned for grocery and school supply shopping so I'll be pretty busy. I have a few more details to work out for organizing my office so that will add even more activity to my day.
I gotta tell ya, though, my tummy hurts a little this morning. And I'm a little sweaty. What's up with that? Any suggestions for a remedy? Ugh. Please don't joke and say "shower". Done that already.