Why so much judgement? I know AA works but it sometimes can get boring
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: West Covina, CA
Posts: 8
Why so much judgement? I know AA works but it sometimes can get boring
I am new to the program I have been around for 6 months. At first I was all into it and went to 60 meeting in 60 days but then I stopped feeling the excitement. Whenever I said anything about this in the meeting I would get the same "if youre bored its cause youre boring", it gets old after a while. I am here cause I want to be here, I have not hit a bad bottom, but I know that drinking doesn't go with me anymore. I want to build a family and better myself and drinkinig like a college dude on the weekends at 39 is not cutting it. I like AA, I like the book, I like the steps, I love the message, I have never felt so in synch with my higher power. But sometimes people in AA can be a bit much. I have very close friends and family who are not in recovery who I talk to on a daily basis and I feel this is where I get my strength to keep going. I can't understand when people say, "what a bad day! I need a meeting" I don't get that, when I have a bad day I try and figure out why, then talk to people I trust. I keep going to meeting because I do get things here and there that help in my recovery but I can't say I'm jumping hoops on my way to any meeting.
Hi Tony
Welcome to SR
I'm not in AA, but I guess if I was and I found the meetings boring and the people a bit much I'd probably try some different groups and meetings, just to see whether it was the people I was reacting to or the programme
D
Welcome to SR
I'm not in AA, but I guess if I was and I found the meetings boring and the people a bit much I'd probably try some different groups and meetings, just to see whether it was the people I was reacting to or the programme
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: West Covina, CA
Posts: 8
Thanks, they are not always boring and I do get enough to keep me going. Some people can get a bit preachy and smothering.
Welcome to SR
I am an AA person and have been for 10 years now. I have to say there have been several times in my sobriety where I have gotten bored with the program and or meetings. What worked for me was to attend different meetings for a while. It is always good to hear different experiences and perspectives. I also attend a Big Book study meeting so I can better understand the message of AA.
I know the AA program has worked for me. Most of my support group are members of AA but I do have a few people who are not but they support me in my sobriety. Currently I do not have a sponsor but have had one the majority of the time I have been in AA. At this point I consider my support group to be my sponsor but I do not recommend that to anyone as I do believe that a sponsor can be a great asset in recovery. I wish you the best on your journey. Take care.
I am an AA person and have been for 10 years now. I have to say there have been several times in my sobriety where I have gotten bored with the program and or meetings. What worked for me was to attend different meetings for a while. It is always good to hear different experiences and perspectives. I also attend a Big Book study meeting so I can better understand the message of AA.
I know the AA program has worked for me. Most of my support group are members of AA but I do have a few people who are not but they support me in my sobriety. Currently I do not have a sponsor but have had one the majority of the time I have been in AA. At this point I consider my support group to be my sponsor but I do not recommend that to anyone as I do believe that a sponsor can be a great asset in recovery. I wish you the best on your journey. Take care.
I agree to try different meetings if you feel like you need AA to stay sober. Maybe you don't though. Some of us are sober without AA. It's not for everyone. Whatever works, right?
LOL... I get it, I really do!
So many possibilities, but the only one you have say over is whatever part you may have in this...
At 6 months my eyes and ears started to open a bit. I realized that I was transitioning from a "me" program to a "we" program. I also realized that some people carry the message, some don't. Those who carry the message too strongly don't really carry the message I want to hear, although I don't always know the difference between what I want to hear and what I need to hear... so I try very hard to keep myself open to whatever message I am getting, and to understand why I recoil when I do... what's my part in that?
But most of all, I realized I needed to step back and just take it one day at a time and have faith that I have a place in AA, I may not always get a say in it, but I trust the process and that place is the right place for me...
Maybe I need to reach out to the alcoholic who has found the rooms but is still suffering... maybe I have a message he needs to hear, maybe not, but if he doesn't hear it... yanno?
Or maybe I need to make coffee... LOL
So many possibilities, but the only one you have say over is whatever part you may have in this...
At 6 months my eyes and ears started to open a bit. I realized that I was transitioning from a "me" program to a "we" program. I also realized that some people carry the message, some don't. Those who carry the message too strongly don't really carry the message I want to hear, although I don't always know the difference between what I want to hear and what I need to hear... so I try very hard to keep myself open to whatever message I am getting, and to understand why I recoil when I do... what's my part in that?
But most of all, I realized I needed to step back and just take it one day at a time and have faith that I have a place in AA, I may not always get a say in it, but I trust the process and that place is the right place for me...
Maybe I need to reach out to the alcoholic who has found the rooms but is still suffering... maybe I have a message he needs to hear, maybe not, but if he doesn't hear it... yanno?
Or maybe I need to make coffee... LOL
I think people say they need a meeting because they need to be with people who have the same problem. I also think there are tons of people out there that don't have support outside of AA. There are a lot of people who live alone that attend many of the meetings I go to. I hear, "I don't want to go home yet because I'm afraid I'll drink" from those people a lot.
Telling you you are boring is offensive. I've never heard that said in a meeting. Usually when people bring up their frustrations or feelings that aren't so great about the meetings or the program we relate and ask if they would like suggestions after the meeting.
Sounds to me like the advice to try other meetings might be right on!
Telling you you are boring is offensive. I've never heard that said in a meeting. Usually when people bring up their frustrations or feelings that aren't so great about the meetings or the program we relate and ask if they would like suggestions after the meeting.
Sounds to me like the advice to try other meetings might be right on!
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,955
I'm not much of an AA person, I do go to a weekly meeting tho.
Maybe spending more time with family and friends might help.
Branching out into the larger local community is refreshing to me.
Originally Posted by Tony
I have very close friends and family who are not in recovery who I talk to on a daily basis and I feel this is where I get my strength to keep going.
Branching out into the larger local community is refreshing to me.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Posts: 645
I have been attending meetings with the thought of what can I give or add to the meeting. Is there someone new whom I can welcome or encourage or listen to? Can I help the chair by reading one of the opening readings? Can I help clean up after the meeting? Is there something I can share from my recovery journey that might be a help to someone else? When I focus on what is good and on what I can add, the meeting getd better. When I focus on what is bad and on what I can get, the meeting gets worse. Simple. Susan
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