GracieJane

I don't know if any of you have ever been to New Orleans, but it is a city literally soaked in alcohol with a party or festival (and thus an excuse to get sideways) every single weekend. It's the culture, and it's a hard town in which to be sober. I've been going to festivals (and so drinking) since I was 13. In fact, there is a rather large one this weekend just blocks from my home, and the whole neighborhood will take on the party atmosphere. I will be able to hear the music from my porch. I don't want to "drop out" of socializing, but it's strangely lonely to be in the middle of the revelry with an iced tea in my hand. Or maybe not. Any thoughts?

aasharon90

Hi, Im Sharon and Im an Alcoholic here in
Baton Rouge, La. sober since 8-11-90. Some
20 yrs ago after a family intervention set me
on the path of recovery incorperating 12 steps
and principles in my everyday affairs.

My memories of New Orleans was when my
parents took us to the Mid City Mardi Gras
Parades every year when we were little. 4 kids
and parents. Of course since I was a 1958 baby
things back in the day werent like they are today.

After I married in 82 my husband and I went to
Pat O'Brians a few times to get Hurricanes and it
was I who thought i could inhale them and not get
sick, yet he was pulling over to the side of the road
so I could throw up.

My now husband is from N.O. and grew up a block
from Carralton and was exposed to all the life style
there way way back in the day.

We both over the yrs have gone thru many changes,
relocating, raising family and getting sober. Long gone
are the drunk insane days of drinking as we dont wish
to return to that craziness of life.

I moved to Houston with my first husband and kids for
10 yrs and wished the whole time i was there to return
to B.R. my hometown where i long to be. For those 10 yrs
all i could think about was our huge oak trees drapped
with moss over lapping the roads and how pretty it looked.

I came back in 2006, remarried and never want to leave
my home here in BR. It's our Southern lifestyle and
heritage we love so much that we cant get anywhere's
else.

I think about Gone With The Wind and the Antebellum Homes,
our Southern Belles with long dresses and unbrellas and huge
oak trees, watermellon, cotton fields and so on.

I kinda wish I had a huge porch with rocking chairs sitting there
over looking the wide plains with a glass of cold tea in hand.

A place that is serene, peaceful, quiet, spiritual. Just enjoying
a life of sobriety.

Our place today is a nice home where we sit in our backyard
watching our many birds flocking in to feed. Doves, Sparrows,
Cardinals, Blue Jays, Hummingbirds and others. We have red roses for bright colors splashed around the yrd. The smell of fresh cut lawn, edged to perfection...Just a peaceful place to join
together after a day apart with work. No noise but the sound
of the wind blowing thru the trees and chirping of the birds.

Find you a place like that..!

Lipitor

All I can say is My goodness....listen ...hang in on the forum

one day at a time my friend

Lip

Vesna

Gracie, I've been to NOLA many times and I can certainly see your dilemma. It is a party town, no doubt about it. But there is also SO much more, and I feel that I've slighted myself in my past trips there by NOT being sober so that I can truly appreciate the beauty, culture, music, food and festivity that is New Orleans. I really want to take another trip sober...I want to take LOTS of photos of everything (and not have to leave my expensive camera in the hotel safe for fear of smashing it when I'm smashed), hang at some of those little holes in the wall where three people are sitting listening to a guy playing sax (as opposed to crowding onto a balcony like an idiot with 500 of my best drunk friends), eat at some of the out-of-the-way places (as opposed to grabbing a slice of pizza here and there on the way to the bar), do fun things during the day rather than laying in bed with a hangover, etc etc. America is an alcohol-soaked country in general; New Orleans has it in a 1000x concentration...but you can do it!

DUNE

You don't have to "drop out" of your socializing. you just need to "change it up", maybe just temporarily. Last year I went to my first bar-b-q where I tried to stay sober. I barely got through it, and didn't think that I'd ever be able to be in a situation like that again.

2 weeks ago i went to a overnight birthday party where everyone was drinking, half of the crowd was getting really hammered. I didn't even have the urge, and I had a blast. It was part of a 2 day road trip with another sober friend, and I haven't had that much fun in about 8 years. Definitely the most fun I've had in my sobriety.

It took me one year and a lot of work before the change. And in the begining, despite what others told me, I wasn't sure if it was ever going to happen. But it did.

Just get through this weekend, keep posting, work on your sobriety, never give up, and wait for the change.

Kjell

Hi Gracie-

I had and have to do whatever it takes to stay sober.

When I first got sober no way could I have gone to a festival like that, no way.

I'm 18 months sober now and I'm just now willing to put myself out there and be around people who are drinking. It's getting easier and I'm learning to have fun w/ out alcohol.

...but for me, there would never be a good reason for me to be around people getting drunk (not for long anyway).

I've often heard this saying - "if you go hang out at a barber shop long enough, you're eventually going to get a haircut"

Kjell~

newby1961

Its funny when I was an active alky I just assumed everone else around me drank like me but in all actuality there are sober people out there that don't drink at all.

They have awesome AA in New Orleans so I suggest making a phone call and going to a meeting.

My disease will do or say anything to get me to drink again so I have to combat that any way I can.

1undone

Now this would be hard. I hear ya! Wow, sometimes people have to make geographical changes to stay sober but I suppose you could get involved as others have said with the sober community that exsists right in your neighborhood if you haven't already. I'm not experienced enough to say much other than, I'm glad that you are here and I hope hope hope you find piece of mind!

GracieJane

Sharon your description was absolutely lovely - it gave me a real sense of the peace that is possible. And Vesna you're right - there is much, much more to the city, but there's no denying the pervasiveness of drink. A common thing to hear is, "Hey brah, (slang for brother) don't talk at me. I ain't had my morning 40 yet." As in a 40 oz can of malt liquor. For breakfast. People don't even try to hide it.

So...maybe I will go for a bit, see a favorite musician, and then walk home and go ride my bike in the park. Or take a yoga class. That sounds like a plan. Again - thanks to everyone.

artsoul

I go to NO often - it's a party destination for lots of people in my area, so I know where you're coming from. It takes some time to get comfortable with sobriety (I think that applies to every alcoholic), so try to be patient with yourself. I have to remind myself of that every day - it's about baby steps and taking it one day at a time....... just a little change here and there can add up and open brand new doors for us.

Like newby said, you could meet some sober people in AA. Or try a yoga class. There are some wonderful little coffee shops - look at the bulletin boards and see what's going on in the area. Take a computer class, do some gourmet cooking...... Just keep an open mind I guess and do a bit of brainstorming......

Hang in there!:ghug3

Mida

I've been there and I feel ya...it's a party town if I've ever seen one. Of course, when I was there I was drinking so it was right up my alley. I even declared it was my fave vacation spot and we've traveled pretty extensively. I remember being so impressed with the availability of cheap booze just about everywhere and with the social acceptance of public intoxication. We did one of those carriage rides and the driver (a kindly gentleman in his fifties or so) told us he didn't drink. I almost fell out of the carriage and wondered, why in the world would you not drink and especially not drink here?! Sad, I know...

Now I don't know how I would react to such an atmosphere. I think some of the others have great points in that there is so much more to the city than the drinking and you can find alternatives to booze/partying...but I totally get where you're coming from.

Hang in there, stick around SR, and best of luck!

laurie6781

I first fell in love with New Orleans at the ripe old age of 8 in 1953, lol I loved it and knew even then that I would return. Little was I to know then that I sure would, for many years drunk or to become drunk and then for many years in sobriety.

So I have seen New Orleans drunk and sober and I have to tell you sober is better!!!! There is so much to do there ALL the time that does NOT involve alcohol:

Gambit New Orleans News and Entertainment | Events

Check out "Best Of New Orleans" every week for the listings of whats going on in the city, you will be amazed. The city, I know is STILL recovering from Katrina, I have personally seen the aftermath, but they really are doing great and there are many things every weekend to do that do NOT require drinking.

I have a dear friend that lives outside the city, the French Quarter is about a 45 minute drive from her home but I still enjoy N.O. I have also found over the years of my sobriety, that even though N.O. has a 'drinking' reputation, it also has a ton of AA meetings, lol some really good ones.

When I first went to N.O. and for many years Morning Call was in the french quarter, with the most WONDERFUL coffee and oversize croissants called beignets that are served still warm and covered in powdered sugar. Now they let you sugar them or not yourself, and
Morning Call moved out of the Quarter in '74, but is still alive and kicking over in the "Fat City" section of nearby Metairie.

I am planning on being there probably next month when I visited my friend. I always do Morning Call at least twice while I am there, roflmao and it plays 'you know what' with my diabetes, and I DON"T CARE, lol

If it really bothers you while the festival is going on, come here to SR and post, there is always someone around. or if you are so inclined, pick up the phone and call the local AA hotline, (it's listed in the white pages) they can find someone to take you to a meeting or just talk with you on the phone.

Enjoy your city ......................... sober!

Love and hugs,

ferrari355

Ha! Bit off topic, but try Ireland. Try Scotland. Try Russia. Americans, in my experience, are better educated and less delusional than Europeans regarding the damage done by alcohol in society.

Kjell

It does stand to reason that New Orleans, known for it's drinking, probably does have A LOT of good AA meetings

Kjell~

comanche

I went to college at Tulane, so I spent a few years drinking my way through New Orleans. I think my fondest memories of the city though are my sober ones, just being in that beautiful warm air as the sun goes down, sitting on my friend's porch or walking through Audubon park. Since getting sober I met a girl who lives in New Orleans and she told me there is a pretty vibrant AA scene down there, especially with young people.

Esco

Ha!! You think New Orleans is bad, I'm Dutch and was born and raised in Amsterdam, Holland.
Now that place is a party town, let me tell you.

If you're an alcoholic/addict you're best to move far, far away from that town

defyinggravity

Fellow New Orleanian here! And I TOTALLY get where you're coming from! I've heard stories about people who actually had to move away from the city to sober up! I'm transient as I'm in graduate school so I'll be moving away in a couple of years...but until then, it's nearly impossible to step out of the house without seeing someone drinking something. I spend a lot of time down at the levee or in the park reading, walking my dog, soaking up the sun...this is something I'm struggling with, too, but I haven't had a drink in over 2 months, so it's possible! Good luck! And yes, there ARE lots of great AA meetings!

defyinggravity

PS: all I had to read was the title of this thread before I thought "that's gotta be by someone in NOLA"

Dee74

I'm an Australian - there's a big drinking culture here too.

I actually took myself out of socialising for a few months to focus on myself and what I wanted to achieve - staying sober.

When I went back out in the big wide world I was sure sobriety was what I wanted - I felt secure and no longer vulnerable.

I no longer felt, and still no longer feel, the pressure to drink because I like who I am sober so much more.

Those few months, for me, were a great investment for the rest of my life.

D

GracieJane

And to defyinggravity: that's funny you knew it was N.O.