What You Won't Miss Once Sober
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 133
What You Won't Miss Once Sober
As a newbie to this site have been combing through the archives and readng with interest. I especially have enjoyed reading the posts about what is not missed (i.e., hangovers, drunk texting). Thinking to myself...wow - that was me. Rather than havng to go through the archives, I was hoping people here would share on this thread things they will not miss since sobriety. While I was reading the archives, I was amused/shocked that so many things I thought I did while drunk was also done by others. Amazing what we all have in common. From obtaining our booze, hiding/stashes, how to drink it so it doesn't look like we are drinking too much, the stupid things done while drunk, the aftermath, etc.
What I won't miss:
Obviously...the hangover
Wondering if said/texted something stupid
The anxiety
What I won't miss:
Obviously...the hangover
Wondering if said/texted something stupid
The anxiety
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Florida
Posts: 70
I will not miss feeling ashamed of myself. I will not miss the confusion I experience from being baffled by my own self destructive behavior. And I will NOT miss the smirky look the guy gives me at the car wash when he locates an empty bottle under the seat of my car when it is being cleaned. Ugh
is really trying!
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: On the road to serenity via soberville
Posts: 236
OMG, this will be some thread Genie!
Where do I begin???
OK, just the 2 I REALLY don't miss the most (that is NOT good English, but you know what I mean!)
1. Having the second (and occasional third) bottle in one of my 'stashes' to top up my glass whilst 'loading the dishwasher' or 'putting on some washing' so my husband could hold on to the FIRST bottle that he thought we were sharing.
2. The morning after cocktail - one part dehydration, 2 parts fear, sprinkled with sleep-deprivation, add night sweats as desired. Add equal parts guilt & failure & steep in a bottlomless vat of self-loathing & self-recrimination. Wash down with the stomach-churning certainty that even as you SWEAR on all you hold dear that tonight will be different, it won't be.
Often served with garnish of despair.
YEP, drank THAT baby often...
Peaceful, loving, sober day to all
Where do I begin???
OK, just the 2 I REALLY don't miss the most (that is NOT good English, but you know what I mean!)
1. Having the second (and occasional third) bottle in one of my 'stashes' to top up my glass whilst 'loading the dishwasher' or 'putting on some washing' so my husband could hold on to the FIRST bottle that he thought we were sharing.
2. The morning after cocktail - one part dehydration, 2 parts fear, sprinkled with sleep-deprivation, add night sweats as desired. Add equal parts guilt & failure & steep in a bottlomless vat of self-loathing & self-recrimination. Wash down with the stomach-churning certainty that even as you SWEAR on all you hold dear that tonight will be different, it won't be.
Often served with garnish of despair.
YEP, drank THAT baby often...
Peaceful, loving, sober day to all
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Florida
Posts: 70
I will not miss spending my ENTIRE Sunday alone on my couch with the shades pulled down eating pizza and barely having the coordination to get up to use the bathroom. I will not miss that moment late Sunday afternoon when I FINALLY feel human again only to be disgusted and anxious that I wasted the whole day, knowing I have to work in the morning and knowing I won't be even the tiniest bit productive on Monday.
Proud Neonephalist
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: North Coast BC Canada
Posts: 1,141
Seeing my wife in the morning and not knowing what happened the night before. Was she mad? Did I say something stupid the night before? Would she start talking about something we had discussed which I couldn't remember, and if she did, could I figure out what it was without letting her know the whole evening was a blank for me?
Bonehead mistakes at work.
The look in our daughters eyes when I didn't want to do something fun, but just wanted to go for an afternoon nap.
Losing all artistic drive.
Etc...
Murray
Bonehead mistakes at work.
The look in our daughters eyes when I didn't want to do something fun, but just wanted to go for an afternoon nap.
Losing all artistic drive.
Etc...
Murray
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
I agree - great thread! (And I LOVE your morning cocktail description Rebel - it was PERFECT!)
Things I won't miss:
1.Not wanting to talk to anyone for fear my breath still smelled like alcohol. Infact, not wanting to be bothered by human beings, period. What a way to live......
2.The anxiety that always follows a night of drinking..... I call them "inner shakes".......... being startled by little things, feeling as though if another thing happened that day I'd lose it, watching the clock so I could get a drink to calm down again.
Things I won't miss:
1.Not wanting to talk to anyone for fear my breath still smelled like alcohol. Infact, not wanting to be bothered by human beings, period. What a way to live......
2.The anxiety that always follows a night of drinking..... I call them "inner shakes".......... being startled by little things, feeling as though if another thing happened that day I'd lose it, watching the clock so I could get a drink to calm down again.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Michigan
Posts: 111
I won't miss not taking a shower on the weekend and smelling so horrible... putting on some perfume, pulling my greasy hair back and going out to the drugstore to buy a bottle of wine anyway (shudder).
I also won't miss feeling ashamed that the same guy is the checkout clerk as the day before... etc. And being recognized at the liquor store.
I won't miss taking a day off of work and feeling paranoid that someone from work will call to ask a question (since I told them they could always call my cell)... when I'll likely be drunk or passed out.
I won't miss trolling other people's facebook pages, etc. and feeling super jealous that their lives are perfect (they're not anyway).
I won't miss the dehydration, dry skin, forever-nauseated, shameful, shaky, unfocused, SO TIRED, when-can-I-have-a-drink-again the morning after.
I won't miss feeling trapped in my house because I can't drive anywhere because I'm drunk.
I won't miss the aches and pains.
I won't miss my house being so shamefully messy I won't invite anyone over (and also, really, not caring that much).
I won't miss the realizations that if I didn't drink 6 glasses of wine, I could have had a Big Mac and taken in the same number of calories.
I also won't miss feeling ashamed that the same guy is the checkout clerk as the day before... etc. And being recognized at the liquor store.
I won't miss taking a day off of work and feeling paranoid that someone from work will call to ask a question (since I told them they could always call my cell)... when I'll likely be drunk or passed out.
I won't miss trolling other people's facebook pages, etc. and feeling super jealous that their lives are perfect (they're not anyway).
I won't miss the dehydration, dry skin, forever-nauseated, shameful, shaky, unfocused, SO TIRED, when-can-I-have-a-drink-again the morning after.
I won't miss feeling trapped in my house because I can't drive anywhere because I'm drunk.
I won't miss the aches and pains.
I won't miss my house being so shamefully messy I won't invite anyone over (and also, really, not caring that much).
I won't miss the realizations that if I didn't drink 6 glasses of wine, I could have had a Big Mac and taken in the same number of calories.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 1,591
What usually comes to mind right away is wrestling with the bottles, the routine of buying the crap, the biting sensation on my tongue, the smell of beer lingering when I get home the next day, the dreading of being seen pulling out a new case again, rotating around for a place where a staff member doesn't recognize me a few times a month (and then he turns up there), the red face, the uncertainty on whether I would vomit in the morning, the gurgling sounds and fears of having a nice accident, the concern about whether my BAC level was safe or not, the mishaps through lack of coordination, the concern over what was going on in my insides, the rambling emails that would embarrass me later. Blah blah. It was a long, lonely party. I don't even miss the buzz, the desirability has been killed off since I quit. There was also a gagging that would happen to me more frequently while drinking - sometimes while eating too. I don't have to deal with all that crap anymore.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
I won't miss barfing every morning, then taking the first drink of the day at 6AM after calling out sick for work.
I won't miss laying in bed all day in the dark, drinking until I pass out, wake up and drink some more.
I won't miss the lies I tell myself that doing all of the above is "OK, once in a while"...
I won't miss the obvious depression and self-pity.
I won't miss laying in bed all day in the dark, drinking until I pass out, wake up and drink some more.
I won't miss the lies I tell myself that doing all of the above is "OK, once in a while"...
I won't miss the obvious depression and self-pity.
New to Real Life
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: I come in Peaces
Posts: 2,071
The nervousness! This morning my husband came home unexpectedly. It was pretty rare that I'd be drinking in the morning but not unheard of. My heart skipped a beat when I heard the garage door opening as I did a mental check. Then the relief. I have nothing to hide!!!
The morning mental check list. Did I do anything embarrassing? Is my husband mad at me? Did I knock anything over? Did I drink so much that the wine box is unmistakably lighter? What excuse can I make to go to ___ to hit that liquor store instead?
The panic when I strange car pulls up outside my house. Is it CPS?
Putting in my contacts in the morning. Making sure to open the cabinet mirror quickly so I wouldn't have to see my face.
Checking my eyes in the mirror for yellow.
Feeling liver pain and trying to talk myself out of it.
The morning mental check list. Did I do anything embarrassing? Is my husband mad at me? Did I knock anything over? Did I drink so much that the wine box is unmistakably lighter? What excuse can I make to go to ___ to hit that liquor store instead?
The panic when I strange car pulls up outside my house. Is it CPS?
Putting in my contacts in the morning. Making sure to open the cabinet mirror quickly so I wouldn't have to see my face.
Checking my eyes in the mirror for yellow.
Feeling liver pain and trying to talk myself out of it.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: UT
Posts: 161
I do not miss the guilt and the self loathing that I couldn't keep promises to myself to only have one or 2 glasses of wine in the morning.
I do not miss wondering if friends I saw or talked to KNEW.
I will not miss wondering about phone calls I answered in the evening. What did I say?
I won't miss my husband saying I fell asleep during the movie we watching together.
As a matter of fact, I don't miss falling asleep in my lounger after preparing, eating dinner with my spouse after having probably 4 glasses of wine EVERY NIGHT for who knows how long. What a waste of time!
The sneaking around to insure he didnt see how much I was really drinking.
The only time I would drink less is if we were out with friends or when I was in some other social situation where others could count and see how much I was drinking. I usually "fixed" that problem by having 1 or 2 glasses before we would leave home. I certainly dont miss that.
Thanks for suggesting this exercise!
I do not miss wondering if friends I saw or talked to KNEW.
I will not miss wondering about phone calls I answered in the evening. What did I say?
I won't miss my husband saying I fell asleep during the movie we watching together.
As a matter of fact, I don't miss falling asleep in my lounger after preparing, eating dinner with my spouse after having probably 4 glasses of wine EVERY NIGHT for who knows how long. What a waste of time!
The sneaking around to insure he didnt see how much I was really drinking.
The only time I would drink less is if we were out with friends or when I was in some other social situation where others could count and see how much I was drinking. I usually "fixed" that problem by having 1 or 2 glasses before we would leave home. I certainly dont miss that.
Thanks for suggesting this exercise!
Editor
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Pensacola, Florida
Posts: 1,516
I do not miss drinking and driving to get more beer, again, then again, then again.
I do not miss saying no to my kids, when the only answer should have been yes.
I do not miss walking into work still sauced from the prior nights activities.
I do not miss holding my breath around my co-workers so that they could not smell me-yea right!
I do not miss missing the entire weekend. Wondering what happened.
I do not miss the empty boxes of beer filling up my garage.
I do not miss drinking. The thrill is gone.
I do not miss saying no to my kids, when the only answer should have been yes.
I do not miss walking into work still sauced from the prior nights activities.
I do not miss holding my breath around my co-workers so that they could not smell me-yea right!
I do not miss missing the entire weekend. Wondering what happened.
I do not miss the empty boxes of beer filling up my garage.
I do not miss drinking. The thrill is gone.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Michigan
Posts: 111
Oh, yeah, won't miss the liver pain and checking for yellow either.
Won't miss worrying about bottles clinking, did my boyfriend see what I have in the closet, why is he putting away my laundry, talking about being a clutz for tripping/breaking things, smelling wine everywhere.
Won't miss wondering if the people I talk to on the phone know that I've been drinking.
Won't miss worrying about bottles clinking, did my boyfriend see what I have in the closet, why is he putting away my laundry, talking about being a clutz for tripping/breaking things, smelling wine everywhere.
Won't miss wondering if the people I talk to on the phone know that I've been drinking.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Chantilly, VA
Posts: 216
Actually being able to accept invitations to a friends house for a good meal and conversation instead of staying home getting blasted. Getting old friends I've missed/lost back into my life.
I have broken several toes a finger and a few ribs and gotten a few stiches from being staggeringly drunk (and that's just in my own house as that's the _only_ place I drink!).
I certainly won't miss the feelings of failure and self loathing from doing something over and over that I _know_ is morally wrong.
But the biggest thing for me is the "drama". Planning on which alcohol store to stop at that I had not stopped at within the last 2 weeks, planning on where and how to hide it, just waiting for my wife to go to work so I could start drinking, etc.; all that soul and energy consuming time and effort living a life centered around "that next drink". Life is much simpler and enjoyable. I am not one to talk as I have gone back many times but after a Great recent message from Dee here on this site, my house is clean and empty of all alcohol and I have asked my wife to request only day shifts for the next few months, when she is home with me in the evening, I find it _Very_ easy not to do anything stupid!
Cheers!
..Mike
I have broken several toes a finger and a few ribs and gotten a few stiches from being staggeringly drunk (and that's just in my own house as that's the _only_ place I drink!).
I certainly won't miss the feelings of failure and self loathing from doing something over and over that I _know_ is morally wrong.
But the biggest thing for me is the "drama". Planning on which alcohol store to stop at that I had not stopped at within the last 2 weeks, planning on where and how to hide it, just waiting for my wife to go to work so I could start drinking, etc.; all that soul and energy consuming time and effort living a life centered around "that next drink". Life is much simpler and enjoyable. I am not one to talk as I have gone back many times but after a Great recent message from Dee here on this site, my house is clean and empty of all alcohol and I have asked my wife to request only day shifts for the next few months, when she is home with me in the evening, I find it _Very_ easy not to do anything stupid!
Cheers!
..Mike
MIND OF DESTRUCTIVE TASTE
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 744
GREAT thread! I will not miss:
-Being consumed with thoughts about when it's time for my next "fix"
-Losing myself, completely
-How it only compounds my mental disorders and makes me hate myself more
-How I had to get up first thing in the morning and find something to drink to swallow the morning pills.
-The lies
-Being consumed with thoughts about when it's time for my next "fix"
-Losing myself, completely
-How it only compounds my mental disorders and makes me hate myself more
-How I had to get up first thing in the morning and find something to drink to swallow the morning pills.
-The lies
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Great Outdoors
Posts: 1,992
I don't miss trying to pry my contacts off my eyeballs because I passed out yet again with them in.
I don't miss toting in a case of beer trying to hide it under my coat. It would be an amazing feat..had I ever pulled it off.
I don't miss Carlos Rossi. Wicked man that makes vile elixer that I couldn't get enough of!
I don't miss being so drunk that I didn't know who I talked to..or what I did. I don't miss the missing pieces of the puzzle.
I don't miss wondering if I passed out before we were done making love. wtf.
I don't miss the coffee cups of wine..or the case of Altoids breath mints.
I don't miss downing Crown Royal. It was over rated and over priced.
I DON'T MISS MY STEPFORD WIFE STARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am HAPPY HAPPY!
I don't miss toting in a case of beer trying to hide it under my coat. It would be an amazing feat..had I ever pulled it off.
I don't miss Carlos Rossi. Wicked man that makes vile elixer that I couldn't get enough of!
I don't miss being so drunk that I didn't know who I talked to..or what I did. I don't miss the missing pieces of the puzzle.
I don't miss wondering if I passed out before we were done making love. wtf.
I don't miss the coffee cups of wine..or the case of Altoids breath mints.
I don't miss downing Crown Royal. It was over rated and over priced.
I DON'T MISS MY STEPFORD WIFE STARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am HAPPY HAPPY!
Practice Sobriety
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: KC missouri
Posts: 885
There is no way to replicate in my mind the amount of pain fear, sweatyness, sickness, helplessness, gross, feeling I had. I don't miss that and I really need to work with the fact that I may not have anything right now, but I don't have that gross feeling.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 139
Originally Posted by March7 
I will not miss spending my ENTIRE Sunday alone on my couch with the shades pulled down eating pizza and barely having the coordination to get up to use the bathroom. I will not miss that moment late Sunday afternoon when I FINALLY feel human again only to be disgusted and anxious that I wasted the whole day, knowing I have to work in the morning and knowing I won't be even the tiniest bit productive on Monday.
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