passionfruit

My AH has a distinct "look" when he drinks. His face becomes grimaced and hard and different somehow, but very clearly not like when he is sober. His mood becomes irritable and disrespectful.

My question: Will an alcoholic get that look if he has not been drinking? Is that what a dry drunk is? Is it possible for him to regress to the drinking attitude and look without the drinking? If so, does it pass?

Or is he simply sneaking the booze?

Live

I would say if he looks like he is drinking..he is.

Time will tell, more will be revealed..as they say.

zrx1200R

100% of the time my alcoholic wife looks or acts as if she has been drinking, she has. I have never once found otherwise. Oh, of course she SAYS she hasn't been drinking. But then I find the evidence. Sometimes not even looking for it. So I stopped. Looks drunk, acts drunk, smells drunk, talks drunk = drinking. Period. Based on my experience with a crafty, master drinker.

Your results may vary.

tjp613

Yeah, I think we are pretty keyed into the telltale signs of their drinking after years of exposure. I was "lucky"... my XAH would slur after even one little cocktail so he could never fool me.

As always, your instincts are probably reliable and as Live said, "more will be revealed".

theuncertainty

IME, the facial expressions and ov-er pro-nun-ci-a-tion were a very sure sign that he'd had a few, regardless of anything he said to the contrary. If it was more than 'a few' it changed to droopy eyes and slurring.

After he didn't drink for a couple months, though, the behaviors, actions and the way he treated people, which I thought was just related to his drinking, were all still there and actually got worse, because he was having to cope with the stuff he usually avoided by drinking.

I knew, even if I didn't want to acknowledge it out loud, when he started drinking again, even though he hid the bottles, the eggshell walking feeling came on strong. I would smile with gritted teeth and tell everyone it was OK. I don't think I fooled any one but myself with that one. When he stopped hiding them, I knew life was about to get a lot more unpleasant. I'm not sure that makes any sense: me knowing that he was drinking, but not admitting it. And I'm not saying it's the same with your AH, but trust your instincts. If you feel that he's been drinking, you're most probably right.

smacked

As an alcoholic in recovery, I will tell you this. ANY time my husband was suspicious that I had been drinking, I had. Every single time.

Having been sober now for 2 and a half years.. I understand how ridiculous it was for me to even say I hadn't.. there's nothing in my sober life that makes me look or act intoxicated.

Have YOU ever been accused of drinking when you haven't? I doubt it.

As to the whole 'dry drunk' thing (which personally, I hate in theory/concept whatever), as I understand it, it has very little to do with someone still looking or acting intoxicated, and more to do about destructive behaviors and attitudes that continue after sobering up, because other areas of the alcoholic's life haven't been addressed.

Buffalo66

Mine can get that look, without drinking, but he is having some fearful mental issues.

Also, I do think one night he was under the influence.

And he had that look.

MsPINKAcres

my exah has the most beautiful dancing blue eyes - WHEN SOBER

when active in his disease those blue eyes have the darkest deadest look in them - it's almost scary creepy looking - it's one of the saddest things I have ever seen in my life.

That's how I always knew . . .

Those eyes have been dead for so many years now his family and I don't think anyone will ever see that life and light in them again.

keepinon

trust your instincts..alcoholics/addicts are MASTERS of hiding evidence, passing tests while dirty etc..have you guys heard about the high skl girls who were falling down drunk, but totally passed the breathalizer..turns out they were using vodka soaked tampons..the inginuity !

Live

I am speechless at that one, Keepinon

tjp613

Ditto, Live....Ditto. I had to think about that one for awhile.

keepinon

right?just shows you the legnths people will go to to get a high and avoid detection..if we could only harness this outsidetheboxgeniusthinking and use it to get people health care and food..imagine..

positiveadjust

I think so! I see other people looks like you were describing without partaking alcohol and best way to prevent that is to stop. I think he was taking also cigarettes that's has a big effect.