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Anyone ever move after a big breakup?

Old 02-15-2011, 04:12 PM
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Anyone ever move after a big breakup?

So my stable secure full-time job has become possible unstable. They fired two people on our teams in the last few weeks and there are rumors that we have funding issues. I have already been laid off a few times and managed to get another job out of luck and hard work. I am not optimistic that I will find another easily in this area as the market is already flooded in FL with people laid off. It has been a struggle over the last few years to stay employed here.

I am considering a move out west that could be great for my career. But I am concerned that I would be running away from unresolved issues here. Being away from it could be a bonus on one hand, or could be looked at like running away on another hand.

Has anyone ever done a move after a big breakup? This is all just talking at this point. I haven't even put my resume out and for all I know I may not get as many bites in that area that I think I could. But I am thinking about trying.
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Old 02-15-2011, 04:18 PM
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Yeah, part of my m.o. I joke that every major break up is at least a 1000 mile move for me!

and I LIKE it! LOL

But I was always in small towns and just didn't want to be bumping into them, being the object of gossip and news carried back and forth...other times, I didn't have so much choice..but needed to move to stay with friends/family

anyway...heck yeah, I like moving. It's an adventure!
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Old 02-15-2011, 04:26 PM
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Let your heart lead the way...and listen to your gut if it disagrees. Let them battle it out!
What's best for....YOU? Yes, YOU?!!!!!
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Old 02-15-2011, 04:30 PM
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I'm concerned that I would get too wrapped up in the benefit of leaving here because of him. And then idealize the good times I had here with him. But if I was offered a certain dollar amount per hour at a really good company I would probably justify a lot easier since it would be considered a good career move.
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Old 02-15-2011, 04:34 PM
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I moved far away after I left my second husband, but it was to go back to where we had previously lived. It was a good move for me, I think, as my current job sucked (I returned to my old job when I moved back), and my personal life (new marriage that immediately fell apart after a return to drinking) was in the toilet. My only regret was that my kids, who lived with my first husband, were in the new place.

It definitely was the best thing for me.

I just think it's important to take a hard look at your motives and expectations. If they are honorable and realistic, a fresh start can be, well, refreshing.
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Old 02-15-2011, 04:35 PM
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What's the worst thing that could happen?

Let me guess, you make the move, you don't like the job, or you miss him so you come back.

Doesn't sound like you lost a darn thing if you come back.

Only sounds like you lost something if you don't give yourself a chance here with your career.

Ok, question: Is it very codie to think I can't make a positive career move because I am going to feel guilty if I do? Pack those bags! Is the only trip you want to take a guilt trip?!
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Old 02-15-2011, 04:54 PM
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I did, as well. And I am so glad I did. It was a fresh start for me and ended up really launching my career.

There is the old saying, "Wherever you go, there you are", but you can work on your issues on the West Coast, too, right?
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Old 02-15-2011, 05:17 PM
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Run Away! Great idea. I like it. A chance to start over, re-invent yourself in whatever manner and mold you wish. You are under no obligation to stay and "resolve unresolved or unresolvable issues".

This might be the defining moment in YOUR life. Go live it to the fullest. And know some of us are jealous. Don't look back.
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Old 02-15-2011, 05:34 PM
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I don't see anything wrong with a new start, did it after my marriage was over 2 years ago. Best thing I could have done for myself.
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Old 02-15-2011, 05:42 PM
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Exploring a whole new area and it's culture is alot of fun!

It's not like you would be moving to Chicago and have loads of wind and snow to suddenly learn to deal with.
The climate would be much the same. So no bad adjustments there. I didn't like being in OK after FL.
But I left OK when I had the opportunity come my way.

You would have all new restaurants to discover, museums, coffee shops etc etc etc.
A good career move. All new associates at the job.
I don't think those things promote "home sickness" in my experience.
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Old 02-15-2011, 06:49 PM
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I moved 25 miles away and it is much better. I never run into mutual friends or him and it is real good. Out of sight out of mind. Memories aren't right in my face anymore.
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Old 02-15-2011, 10:12 PM
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I moved from east coast to west coast about 15 years ago, for a new job. Ended a toxic relationship at the same time. Never regretted it.
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Old 02-16-2011, 01:04 PM
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I want to. :lol But sharing custody with RAXH, it's not going to happen. Which is probably a good thing -- our kids have gone through enough in the past year that they don't need to be uprooted in addition to everything else right now.

But if I could, I definitely would. Like right now. Move.
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Old 02-16-2011, 07:13 PM
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I moved back to my home state after my breakup. EX moved back, too, but to another region. The move was terrifying but exhilarating at the same time.

I'd love to say I was an entirely new woman with the move, but I found my own demons tagged along so my recovery work on myself marched merrily along. The upside was that it was unimpeded by having to deal with him.

Nothing like some serious geography, though, to help you with going no contact, though.

Remember to focus on your needs and wants and if moving is healthy for you then hit the road, friend.

I applaud you for turning what could be an entirely negative bit of news in the potential lay off and considering a positive plan instead. Bravo!!

Alice
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Old 02-16-2011, 07:35 PM
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Well when I came into work this morning, we had an email that our funding is NOW only good through March...not April like they thought. It just keeps getting worse. I updated my resume and have already sent it out. I'm taking all of this as a sign. I'm going for it!
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Old 02-16-2011, 08:42 PM
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not worse. Just different.
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Old 02-17-2011, 04:41 AM
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Worse as in less money than they thought.
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Old 02-17-2011, 04:54 AM
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I joined the Army after finding my Alcoholic boyfriend in bed with another girl. That's where I met my alcoholic husband! Lol I guess I'll find them wherever I go, but moving away was one of the best things I've ever done for myself. I was/am so in love with my ex that I had to get away, or else I would have gone crazy, or met back with him for some of the one night stands he's called me about. Now I'm two states away and his phone calls are becoming less and less frequent. Yep, best choice I've ever made.
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