TheNile

Hi, I am 36 year old female. I am 5 feet 2 inches tall and 126 lb. Currently, I drink every day/night between 3 (on a good day) to 13 drinks (on a bad day) which is a lot for my size. I used to drink only on the weekends but around 2000 I quit smoking tobacco so I also quit going to the bars and clubs. Around that time I decided to live a more healthy life so I switched from cocktails to red wine. I started with one glass per day (I heard that’s healthy), which progressively got worse and reached to at least one bottle per day at around 2006. I discovered that if I drank water with the wine my head did not hurt as much the next day. I had several pass out moments and multiple blank/erased time periods...Anyway, I got scared and switched to something lighter, beer. But as we all know, it really didn't matter what the drink is, as long as it gets us drunk. So from 2007 until mid 2010 I drank mostly beer, every weeknight and all weekend day, 3 to 13 at a time. Since this summer I got bored with beer and I never really liked the taste of it, I have been reaching for the hard stuff again. Things like vodka, brandy, Irish cream and so forth. Things are getting progressively worse yet again. Yesterday I finished off a whole bottle of chocolate flavored liquor. Had 3 beers before that... Things are getting out of control. This morning I woke up with no hangover symptoms which surprised me. I am thinking of trying to quit yet again. I have been thinking of joining an online support group because I am too nervous about a real AA meeting at this time. So my last drink was last night but I don’t remember what time because I passed out. Now it's almost 4 PM and my usual start time is 5:30. I am so scared and feel I will go home and fail again...Please help, I know if I have one beer I will have few more... I have to keep posting and reading on this wonderful board.

JackNWA

Welcome TheNile. Keep coming back here, there's lots of good people and information. And if you can make it to an AA meeting, they will love to have you!

reggiewayne

WELCOME Nile! Glad you made it hear. Your drinking progression certainly reminds me of me. I too used to be able to better control my intake and it took far more booze at the end of my line to get me drunk as it did in my 20's. I was where you are 18 days ago. All I can say is I started participating in this site and going to AA meetings. They really helped / help me.

The obsession of the first drink can be so great. I never thought I could beat it. So many mornings I'd say "I'm not drinking today" and then on the way home from work, I'd stop off and have a quick drink, then get some whiskey and say "just a few"... Then it would be 2am and I'd be *********... The only thing that has worked for me is AA coupled with this support group. I can honestly say that I have no desire to drink today. That doesn't mean that the past 3 weeks have been easy. I remember a few days I just had to unplug the phone and lay in bed. I still made it to meetings but I wasn't capable of much more some days.

Give yourself time to heal. For me the fog really started to lift around day 12. I'm sure there are tough days in front of me but I feel much better equipped to handle them.

One day at a time. That's all we need to do. Best of luck to you!!!

Dee74

Welcome TheNile

I think support is vital. SR's certainly saved my bacon a few times.

Just take it a day at a time - make a daily commitment not to drink.....read around, post - you'll find a lot of advice and support here

D

Anna

Welcome!

Alcoholism is a progressive disease and, as you're finding, it will continue to get worse until you stop.

I'm so glad that you found us!

doggonecarl

The one thing you can do, right now, to get you started down the path of recovery is this:
DON'T PICK UP THAT FIRST DRINK

It might be hard, it might seem down right impossible, but everything you do in recovery follows that first rule--Don't drink.

Good luck, post often. Lots of help here.

least

Detox from alcohol can be unpleasant and sometimes dangerous. If you start feeling bad or 'strange' best to get medical attention.

to the family!

TheNile

Now I am thinking what if I have 1 beer to mellow out the shaking and anxiety I always feel when I try to quit. I know cold turkey is a very bad idea without medical help. I don't want to take any pills because I will get hooked on them in no time. My diseased mind is starting to trick me yet again!

least

If your withdrawal gets too intense, please go to the ER for help. I've tried 'tapering' to stop drinking gradually... but it never worked for me, I just ended up drinking too much, too fast and was right back in the cycle.

Please get help if it gets rough.

Onewithwings

Medical detox might be your best bet. I don't think they give you addictive pills such as vicodin or xanax, but I had a different DoC than alcohol, and have never detoxed from serious alcoholism, so I'm not sure, maybe someone who has done it will tell you how it goes.

Congrats on deciding to quit, that's a huge step! Following up on that decision is necessary to not drink again. AA is wonderful for those who have, or think they might have, a drinking problem. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking (no catch!) Working the steps, for me, is life-saving. I tried so hard to do it on my own, but I absolutely needed a power greater than myself to help me recover.

Hope you find your path to recovery!

TheNile

Is there anything I can eat or drink to make things better? I have herbal teas, milk, honey... I heard vitamin B is good.
Last time I tried this was about a year ago I started having irregular heart beat on the second day and ended up "fixing it" with a drink which led to more drinks...

JackNWA

Given your history, I would suggest seeing a doc about your detox.

TheNile

My doctor doesn't know my actual drinking number. I tell him 2-3 beers a day and I feel if I tell him the truth he will ridicule me big time. I am scared and nervous about it...

CarolD

Welcome.....

Many of us are winning over alcohol
and that can be true for you as well.

Please call your doctor for advice on how best to de tox safely.
That's an awfully large ammount of alcohol...and your heart
jumping around could be a red flag.

Please read this link...it's got info and some of our experiences

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

artsoul

Hi TN - I do hope you get help detoxing if you need it. I understand it's hard to admit our problem, but doctors see this kind of thing all the time. When we need help, it's OK to ask, you know? It's a good thing......

I remember being right where you're at and I wish I could do more to help than type some words onto my computer. I will tell you that it gets a whole lot better after you get the alcohol out of your system. The depression and anxiety went away after a couple days for me. I had to take it an hour at a time at first. I drank lots of water, did the B vitamins, and had small frequent meals (milkshakes are good and they don't go with beer!) I read lots of posts and just camped out in bed, like I had the flu.

Stay close to the forum and let us know how you're doing.:ghug3

TheNile

It's 6:30 PM and I lasted 1 hour without a drink yet. My boyfriend is here for support. So far I don't feel anything painful or weird.

TwoJacks

Keep reading and posting, before you know it it will be time for bed and the day will be over.

TheNile

Still drink free as of 7:10! But usually the first day or two are not so hard for me. But I will take these one or two days over nothing... Oops I just had a thought of having a beer... It's just a thought... Letting it go!

TheNile

I am starting to sweat. Now I start to worry if I can do this without medication. I could have half a beer...

artsoul

The problem with having half a beer is that you're putting more alcohol in your system (prolonging the process)... and it may not help at all, so it get's harder to say no to having just a "little more"......

If your boyfriend is still there, can he go with you to the ER? I know it doesn't sound like fun when you're feeling this way, but it will get things started in the right direction.......

Just thinking out loud here...... how are you doing?