Phoenixthebird

We, as codependents, have so much pain and hurt that we must endure loving someone that is an alcoholic or addicted, that sometimes we forget to take care of ourselves. In the process of juggling all our daily tasks, we often forget how important it is to take care of ourselves. However, taking care of ourselves is most important of all because if we take care of ourselves then it's that much easier to take care of everyone and everything else around us.

One means of coping is learning how to do positive self esteem affirmations about some outcome we wish to achieve, such as wealth, success, or health. Instead of negative self-talk, we can use positive daily self esteem affirmations to direct what our focus will be. We can conquer our past and present fears, and enjoy our present or create the future by positive self esteem affirmations. Self esteem affirmations are good way to stay focused on what we want.

We can say our positive daily affirmations silently or aloud to ourselves. Repetition of affirmations will also counteract negative thoughts that may stream through our minds, automatically sometimes. Initially, we may not find it easy to hear the affirmation above the internal noise of negative thoughts and feelings. We need to repeat our positive affirmations at intervals throughout our day, to reinforce the positive belief and to maintain a positive state of mind.

Once we start believing that something is possible, it becomes probable. An affirmation should be a belief in ourselves. The desires and dreams that our minds can conceive bear seeds of possibility, and possibilities ultimately become realities. Given enough time, however, we can change most of the basic ideas about ourselves by positive daily self esteem affirmations.

We can multiply the effectiveness of positive affirmations by teaching ourselves to stay aware of our persistent thoughts. Persistent thoughts are the ideas that keep automatically popping into our heads. Unfortunately these persistent thoughts are usually negative. Often times we are more dedicated to our distractions then our destiny. We must stop those negative thoughts by refusing to think them. Then repeat our affirmations again. Eventually our persistent thoughts will automatically be positive, and that's when we will really see a difference in our attitude, and sense a difference in how we feel.

We cannot always control our thoughts, but we can control our words, and repetition impresses the subconscious, and we are then master of the situation. (Florence Scovel Shinn)

It's the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen. (Claude M. *******)

I, like everyone else, need to use these self esteem quotes to improve my lookout on my life!

"Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing that it is stupid." (Albert Einstein)

"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love & affection." (Buddha)

"Of all the judgments we pass in life, none is more important than the judgment we pass on ourselves." (Nathaniel Branden)

"Everybody is unique. Compare not yourself with anybody else lest you spoil God’s curriculum." (Rabbi Israel ben Eliezer)

"Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are." (Malcolm S. Forbes)

"You can’t build joy on a feeling of self-loathing." (Ram Dass)

"It's not your job to like me...it's MINE!" (Byron Katie)

"Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miesracles in our lives." (Louise L. Hay)

"The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are." (Joseph Campbell)

"Reflect on your present blessings, of which every man has many, not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some." (Charles Dickens)

"Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one." (Eleanor Roosevelt)

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"Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new." (Albert Einstein)

"Today is the first day of the rest of my life so I will succeed into tomorrow".

"Persistence beats resistance!"

"Feel the fear and do it anyway!"

Some of the best and most effective affirmations are those found in the Bible.

The bible says "What so ever a man thinks, so is he"

"For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans for a future and a hope!" (Jeremiah 29:11)

"I can do all things through Christ who strenghtens me!" (Philippians 4: 13)

Please share some of your own favorite positive self esteem affirmations!

SteppingUp

Phoenix,

Thank you so much for posting this thread!!! Here's one I just heard today in a recording of an Al Anon speaker:

"Being human is NOT a character defect."

As a matter of fact, I liked it so much, I made it my signature!

Cyranoak

For those of us capable of laughing at ourselves, "I'm Good Enough, I'm Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me!"

--Daily Affirmations With Stuart Smalley (a.k.a. Al Franken who, regardless of what you think of his politics or humor, is in real life one of "us.")

Here are some of Stuarts others:

• "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me."
• "That's just stinkin' thinkin!"
• "You're should-ing all over yourself."
• "Denial ain't just a river in Egypt!"
• "I am a worthy human being."
• "...and that's...okay."
• "Trace it, face it, and erase it."
• "I don't know what I'm doing. They're gonna cancel the show. I'm gonna die homeless and penniless and twenty pounds overweight."
• "I'm in a shame spiral."
• "...Sara Lee...Mallomars ...Fig Newtons..."
• "It's easier to put on slippers than to carpet the entire world."

yorkiegirl

These affirmations serve to inspire, motivate, and validate. Of course, they are empty words if I don't put them into action. Transformation always requires action, for me. Some of the sayings may not be my "true feelings" at the time, but by repeating them, examining them and internalizing them, they help guide me to a better, purer place. I love them!

As Buddha has said, “We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves.” They sayings help me strive my mind to get to a pure(r) place.

Phoenixthebird

Self esteem affirmations is just one of many coping mechanisms, which can be described as ‘survival skills’. Coping mechanisms are learned behavioural patterns used in order to deal with stresses, pain, and natural changes that we experience in life. We experience a range of emotions throughout our lives, some good, some not so good. However, we are not always able to cope with the difficulties that we face. There are negative coping mechanisms and positive coping mechanisms.

Our behaviours are usually a result of how we handle our emotions. If we are able handle our emotions positively, our behaviour will likely be positive. If we do not handle our emotions in a positive way, our behaviour will likely be negative.

It is important to be able to recognize our emotions before we can manage them. We can learn to become aware of our emotions, acknowledge what is happening within
ourselves, and to learn to think and plan before we act.

If we become aware of the negative self affirmations that we use (ways that do more harm than good), we can begin to learn, explore and use more positive self esteem
affirmations to manage our lives (ways that benefit our lives).

A good website to find out more about self esteem affirmtions is Self Esteem Affirmations - Videos

Just my personal opinion. Take what you like and leave the rest.

Love and Peace,
Phoenix

LaTeeDa

I think your friend has a good point. You can talk the talk, but unless you're walking the walk, it rings hollow.

Actions always trump words. This is true of alcoholics and codependents alike. I can SAY whatever I want, but what I DO is what matters.

L

Phoenixthebird

All of THAT is TRUE! But before you can WALK the Walk, you have to start with crawling!

Very seldom does a baby just stand up one day and start walking!

lillamy

I have to quote that to my daughter, who is very much like a fish judging herself by her ability to climb a tree.

Tally

"Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are."

Love this one.

transformyself

I love who I am
I am grounded in my own power
I experience love wherever I go
Riches of all sorts are drawn to me

TakingCharge999

Words are meaningless if there are no actions but there can't be any step forward if you do not know where you are going.
These phrases are very useful for me as reminders and inspiration. Thanks for sharing them! I loved the one about the slippers

HoopNinja

Something horrible happened. I think I am going to die.
Something horrible happened. I cannot stand it.
Something horrible happened. I cannot do it.
Something horrible happened. I am still here.
Something horrible happened. I am OK.

Phoenixthebird

"If the road to Hell is paved with good intentions, the Stairway to Heaven is built from good deeds come true."

"Killing time is not a victimless crime. Time for each of us is finite, and when we kill time, we also kill dreams, opportunities, maybe even life itself."

"You can make the past better than it was going to be."

"Decide whether your life is abuzz with joy or infested with mosquitoes."

"When you drive along the road and see the blacktop right in front of you, do you ever notice how many cracks and potholes appear? But look ahead several
yards, and the surface looks smooth? ... Put in perspective, all those irritants, all those daily wrinkles, all the potholes and cracks along our path disappear when we look farther down the road."

"Why not seize the day? What could stop us? Whatifism, that's what. What if she slaps my face? What if I fall? What if my mind goes blank? It's standing room only for whatifisms. ... The farmer grows green beans, pole beans, wax beans, even fava beans. The fearer grows couldov beans. When we stock up on what ifs, we end up with could've beens."

theuncertainty

Something a friend tells me (maybe he got it from somewhere, but I don't know and he's on vacation right now. Heck, I didn't remember that the should-ing saying was Stuart Smalley. ): You're going to be alright - you already are alright, you just don't see it yet.

I'm not sure if this is a self-esteem affirmation, but it helps me remember that real love does not require favors to be paid back:

Even after all this time
The sun never says to the earth,
"You owe me."
Look what happens with a love like that
It lights up the whole sky.
Hafiz the Poet