success without a program?

Old 12-15-2010, 12:58 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 3
success without a program?

I am the adult daughter of an alcoholic... He didn't seriously address that he had a problem until he ended up in the hospital with alcohol poisioning. I'll tell you more if you think you need to know, but my question is:

How important is an official program to success in not drinking? AD won't join a program and thinks everyone that he met in rehab is way worse than him.
Heiress is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Heiress For This Useful Post:
ady gil (12-15-2010)
Old 12-15-2010, 01:04 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Bernadette's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Boston
Posts: 2,813
AD is alcoholic dad? Sometimes that means Alcoholic Daughter! Usually people use AF (father) anyhooooooo sorry!!

My dad was an A too (AD!!)

Official programs don't matter - what matters is the addict's willingness to change and face themselves as a sober person - for my dad nothing worked till he went to AA. He went pretty regularly for about a year and then less and less. But he was a CHANGED person. And he lived his last 20 years sober and very, very serene and happy.

Recovery is real and so obvious when you see it. There are no more excuses, no more "oh I am not as bad as those people" no more "that doesn't work for ME" etc.

When my dad finally recovered he said he had to learn not to compare - anyone he met in AA who was "worse off" than him was just experiencing things he hadn't experienced "yet!" Things he realized (on his own) that he would experience if he kept drinking.

Have you tried AlAnon for yourself? It really turned my head around.

Bernadette is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Bernadette For This Useful Post:
ady gil (12-15-2010), DesertEyes (12-15-2010), keepinon (12-15-2010), naive (12-15-2010)
Old 12-15-2010, 01:14 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
nodaybut2day's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Quebec
Posts: 2,708
I think "just quitting" doesn't work for most people, in that they don't necessarily address all the inherent problems of which alcoholism is a symptom. Recovery doesn't have to include AA, but IMO it is rather important that your AF be in counselling, and more specifically with a counsellor trained in addiction.
nodaybut2day is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to nodaybut2day For This Useful Post:
ady gil (12-15-2010), keepinon (12-15-2010)
Old 12-15-2010, 01:25 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 2,047
Rarely, but sometimes. Very rarely. However, if his drinking and choices are a problem for you I highly recommend Al-Anon for you. It changed me life. Did I mention it's for and about you?

Back to your question, the program does not necessarily need to be AA, though it is the oldest and one of the most successful. People have found success in other programs.
Cyranoak is offline  
Old 12-15-2010, 01:33 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
RIP Sweet Suki
suki44883's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 32,082
I don't think it's as rare as you might think. There are several of us here who didn't use a formal program and have managed to stop drinking and live a quality life for years. As I said in your other thread, I don't think it's fair to say your father isn't serious about recovery just because he doesn't use AA. Everyone is different and while programs like AA have helped many, many people, that doesn't mean that anyone who stops on their own will ultimately fail.
suki44883 is offline  
Old 12-15-2010, 02:51 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: England
Posts: 741
My exA has been dry/sober for 3 years now. Stopped cold turkey after drinking 24/7 for nearly 10 years at home and hasn't touched a drop since. He doesn't have any program of recovery and he didn't change too much after stopping unfortunately, but he's not drinking so that's gotta be better than 27/7 drunkeness, definitely health wise at least.
Tally is offline  
Old 12-15-2010, 03:03 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
JenT1968's Avatar
Join Date: May 2006
Location: UK
Posts: 1,149
Blog Entries: 1
I'm not aware of any statistics that decribe this. I know there are some out there although I've heard peopel debate the flaws of different types of data on different types of programmes, and no programmes.

There are no guarantees, no absolutes (or should that be "almost no absolutes"!?) and this really is his path to tread, the way that works for him. You can look into support for yourself in undoing any damage his drinking may have done to the family psyche. You can watch his behaviour, see if it is the sort of behaviour you are comfortable to be around right now, and if so, be around it.
JenT1968 is offline  
Old 12-15-2010, 03:29 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
keepinon's Avatar
Join Date: May 2010
Location: central coast, ca
Posts: 1,652
I know I couldn't recover without Alanon..alot of people with addictions need structure and to relearn how to live in a healthy way.Whenever I hear someone saying that they aren't "as bad as the rest of those people" my ears ***** up...makes me wonder about how real they are being in terms of their addiction.They may have had a "high bottom", but they are no less of an addict.
keepinon is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:36 PM.