The beauty and goodness of our addicted loved ones

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Old 11-02-2010, 06:20 PM
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The beauty and goodness of our addicted loved ones

I just got done watching "Henry's Story" that was posted by Cynical One. It was so sad and so very powerful. It reminded me that the addicts in our lives are not just addicts.....they are people. People who are loved very much.

I would like to dedicate a thread to our addicted loved ones. A thread that talks only about the qualities that we love and admire about them. And does not talk about their addiction.

I'll begin.

My son is so very smart. He has an amazing ability to get his thoughts down on paper when he chooses to do so. He has always had a way with words and a way of seeing the world that makes it more interesting. I've often described him as "hollywood" handsome. When he smiles, his eyes sparkle and he literally lights up a room. He's a soccer player. A very good soccer player. And I loved watching him play through the years. And FUNNY. There is no one on the face of this earth that can make me laugh as hard as he can. When he was a little boy, he went to Montessori School. Each day as he arrived at school, he had to say hello to each of his classmates and see how they were doing before he could settle into his day. His teachers called him Mr. Sunshine. That is who he is. He is loving and kind and beautiful. I love him.

gentle hugs
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Old 11-02-2010, 06:26 PM
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My dad always encouraged me to do whatever I wanted and knew I could do it too.
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Old 11-02-2010, 06:52 PM
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my son is smart, articulate, and artistic. I have no idea where he got his intelligence! He is interested in everything, and loves to have long discussions about space, creation/evolution, and politics.

He is very tenderhearted.Catch and release is his policy with bugs of any kind.

He used to work at a grocery, and instead of throwing outdated milk in the dumpster, he would leave it alongside it, for the lady who came each night to dig the outdated milk from the dumpster.

He was never a jock, but a geek, who lives and breathes computers. He loves classical music. He can create the most beautifully sensitive artwork.

he would give an animal his last bite of food, and go to great lengths to protect little homeless animals from the cold and from hunger.

He would spend hours fixing your computer if you have a problem with it. He is very special to me, and everyone who knows him , loves him. He is a good listener. He loves his niece and nephew, and throws them up in the air when he sees them.
I love and am thankful for my son.
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Old 11-02-2010, 07:00 PM
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My daughter is beautiful, intelligent, compassionate, tenderhearted, forgiving, fierce, adventurous, shy, and loves the outdoors, wilderness. She's my favorite road warrior and an excellent co-pilot with a real map

chicory, you reminded me about my daughter's love of music. She played the flute for years, taught herself the piano, and can play classical music without sheet music.
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Old 11-02-2010, 07:03 PM
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Alex drove by the same corner on her way home from school every day. The same "homeless" man was there all the time - flying a sign, asking for handouts. His little pup was there on the corner next to him.

One day, she was prepared. She stopped. She gave some food.
Dog food.

When some friends teased her on Facebook, she replied, "well, what about the poor doggy?
someone has to help him!"

Alex is my daughter. She is a senior in college, studying youth and family violence prevention. She was my firstborn, nine months from the day of my wedding. She was a perfect baby, and the light of my life.

She is thinking of joining the Peace Corps.

She is 22 years old.

She is alcoholic.
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Old 11-02-2010, 07:31 PM
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My daughter Kristen was a loving, caring and generous person throughout her life. She was extremely intelligent – she taught herself to read before she was three. Kristen had a contagious sense of humor and her smile would light up the room.

She was a gifted artist who loved to draw and occasionally paint. Although she was barely five feet tall, she was unusually strong and had a reputation for standing up for her classmates and friends if they were being picked on. Her physical strength came in part from the rigorous work associated with caring for and training horses, most especially her beloved horse Red, a thoroughbred born without a tail. They were a team in many ways, both spiritually and when competing in show jumping, where they both excelled.

Kristen was the ultimate non-conformist and moved easily through many circles. She could spend an entire evening nestled with a good book, or out raising hell with her friends. I remember her nursery school teacher telling me she’d find her wrestling with the boys or else hanging from the monkey bars reading a book. She was quite comfortable studying Algebra and Calculus, but was more interested in becoming a horse groom or auto mechanic. She was able to attend just about any college, but chose local colleges and pumping gas at our local station.

Kristen also loved music and her tastes again ran the gamut of genres. She was fluent in the Monkees, classic rock, techno, rap, heavy metal and gothic rock. She had a soft spot for German heavy metal.

She was a most unusual person, but most importantly, she had a heart of gold. She fiercely loved and was loyal to her family and friends. Always considerate of other's feelings, she could be counted on as a friend. For all her talents and gifts, her beautiful heart stands out as the most precious of all.

She had just turned 20 when we lost her. She lives in my thoughts and my heart each and every day.


Thank you, Kindeyes...What a beautiful thread...I enjoy getting to know your loved ones.
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Old 11-02-2010, 07:31 PM
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My husband is courageous, leaving his country to come here and start over knowing no one. He is funny and comes up with the most off the wall stories or comments to make you laugh. He is a hard worker so I can stay at home with the kids. He is intelligent and continues to learn more with having too. He is loving and tender somehow knows what to say or do. He is a loving father and great with the kids and so so much more.
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Old 11-02-2010, 08:39 PM
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What a beautiful idea Kindeyes, I have always known that addicts are human beings with feelings,hearts and souls. That is why I never judge an addict. No matter what drug they use, or what they have done, it's usually the affect of the drug that makes them do wrong. My son told me that the whole time he was using drugs, he had no idea that he was hurting me so badly. So, I know it was unintentional pain that he caused me. Sometimes I still cry, and he says, If I would have known this, I never would have put a pill in my mouth. Long story short, he is clean and sober now. I am grateful.

So here goes the good stuff:

My son Joseph is such a good guy. He is the most beautiful man when it comes to caring about other peoples emotions and feelings. He has a heart of gold and is very good natured. He would give you the shirt off of his back. He has emotional intelligence which is a beautiful quality for a man to have.

He has never disrespected me, or said anything nasty or mean to me, even when he was using. He went to Montessori school up until kindergarten and then to Catholic school for the rest of his education. He was always 99 percentile on all of his national reports. He is a great basketball player who played on the varsity team for St. Edmunds H.S. He won most valuable player 2 times in his life. Once at 12 years old, and once in H.S..In the 6th grade he won class clown. He is funny, and everyone who knows him, can't stop laughing with him. He is the best impersonator I've ever seen. He does a real funny job of imitating people. He is polite, always says thank you, and would give his seat to a pregnant woman or the elderly. He is a great artist, and can sketch your face while your talking to him. He is immaculately clean about his body, and his room. He loves and believes in GOD, and he has the most forgiving heart out of anyone I have ever met. He doesn't take after me in that area. I could probably go on and on, but I won't. I will spare you all. My son is very handsome and intelligent and when he is smiling I am the happiest person in the world. I love my son very much, and I am proud of him.
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Old 11-02-2010, 09:13 PM
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kindeyes - there is nothing more comforting than to be able to talk about the wonderful person my son is - thank you for thinking of creating this opportunity - my son is a loving, kind, thoughtful person - he has always been the one that comes up with the perfect gift because he thinks about what is important to the person he is buying for - he loves adventure - he loves his dog (and his dog idolizes him) angelic said it beautifully when she said "when he is smiling i am the happiest person in the world" - i also love my son very much and i am so proud of him - i found this prayer my son wrote around the time he first started using - the original is in his handwritting and i treasure it -
Dear God,
Thank you for my talents.
Thank you for my weaknesses.
Thank you for music and love.
You created a beautiful world.
Help me find more peace.
Peace with you. Peace with life.
Thank you for this day,
Protect me,
Guide me,
and
Comfort me.
Help me see the good in every situation.
Forgive me when I hurt you.
Run with me all the miles of my life and
Please, God, catch me when I can’t run anymore.
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Old 11-02-2010, 10:28 PM
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My husband has a wonderful sense of humor and can always bring a smile to my face he is a hard worker and always has been. He has always kept hisself in great shape and I just love his muscles and I love him.

My son Brian is very artistic and so loving he is the type person who would give you the shirt off his back even if he didn't have another one.

My son Michael was a cadet with the local Sheriffs department and also the youngets our county has ever allowed to go to their Sheriff Reserves program. He is loving and generous.

I love my boys and my husband.

Hugs,
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Old 11-02-2010, 10:58 PM
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His heart, always so large and full.
The gentle compassion and understanding he shows for my autistic son. (He loves working with special needs kids).
His smile, and soft spoken nature.
The love he has for his own kids.
His kindness, never has a bad word to say about anyone.
Very nurturing and supportive.
His sense of wonder and enthusiasm.
Loves playing music.
Great listener.
Makes me feel safe, always.
Very sensual and affectionate
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Old 11-02-2010, 11:13 PM
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Thank you for starting this thread.

My son Jaco is super-intelligent and good-looking. From a very early age the girls were running after him. He got really good marks at school for most of his life.

He is also one of the most beautiful, kind-hearted people I know. He has a way of understanding why people behave the way they do and to guide them through difficult times. He is sensitive and tender, he would never hurt anyone on purpose.

He has an amazing way with animals, especially cats. Whenever we got a new kitten, the family always joked that we must keep it away from Jaco, because once under his spell, they were lost to us. His cat would sit and wait for him when he was away and go crazy when he returned.

He has a wonderful sense of humour, is very artistic and an excellent writer. I miss you Jaco.

I see a common thread about intelligent, sensitive, very likeable people.
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Old 11-03-2010, 02:40 AM
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My daughter...young and beautiful...not in the just, mama thinks your pretty kinda of way, but the everyone thinks she is beautiful way. She is soooo smart! So advanced in math, in ways i never was. Passionate about cheerleading. Started cheering when she was 5 years old! I still have her first uniform. So very different from me, as i always was the shy art student, she, the outgoing athlete. Played soccer, and could tumble her hiney off! She is the person that loves unconditionaly, gives without expecting return, and is ok with that. Loves her friends fiercly! And they in return love her back the same. She is can write a story as well as someone much more advanced and educated beyond her years. She has a soft spot for animals, oh my how many she has tried to bring home! She loves to try and grow plants, and bless her heart, fails miserably. But never the less trys again. She is a horrible driver, yet loves to drive! lol...and loves to drive mama when we go places. yes, the insurance has suffered! Her big heart, and the sweet nature of her personality, has given her many friends. She thinks she can sing, and when american idol is on, we have in home auditions...she and her friends get together and "try out" in our living room...and unfortunatly, my hearing is very audible...uugghh lol...Most importantly, she is the best thing that ever happened to me.

this was a great thread. I was actually having a really bad day. And i have just sat here and smiled this entire time writing this. I could say so many more incredible things about my AD...it was sooooo nice remembering the good stuff! and the person she really is. not the addict, the person inside. thank you
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Old 11-03-2010, 06:02 AM
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Thank you all for sharing the gifts and talents that make your loved ones the special people they are. I sat here reading with tears running down my face because your entries touched my heart. Although it is addiction that brings us together here, our loved ones are so much more than their "addiction". I hope that we'll see more posts as we go on. And if you think of something else you'd like to add because there are so many dimensions to our loved ones, feel free to post again.

gentle hugs
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Old 11-03-2010, 06:03 AM
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my husband is an ex marine, I fell in love with a strong muscler man, our story always reminds me of the movie the officer and the gentlemen and he even looked like richard gere. he was athletic, great football player in school, people still talk about his football days. he swept me off my feet, girls in town envied me.
he is a gentle like a kitten inside,caring, loving, strong, protecting, very respectfull.
wouldnt hurt a fly. he loves animals, would rescue birds, racoons, squirrels
and feed them until they could be on their own.
he is honest and loyal. he would always help people get through any difficulties with anything, he was intelligent, never showed any hatred towards people but he would also speak his mind in a respectfull manner. I never even heard him yell. I could go to him about anything, he always would listen and work me through anything as well for family and friends. people would call us and say can I speak to ... I need some help with something.
he would collect bagels,donuts from local shops and deliver to the womans batter shelter or homeless shelter.
most importantly, he stood by my side during my illness's, never missed an appt., layed next to me holding me, bathed me, dressed me, fed me, never
complained always told me to be strong, I always felt protected and safe.
he was a loving caring supportive son to his mom, he was a loving,caring son in law to my dad, everyone in the family adored him.
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Old 11-03-2010, 06:26 AM
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Originally Posted by tangerinegirl View Post
it was sooooo nice remembering the good stuff! and the person she really is. not the addict, the person inside. thank you
Me, too! My son is brilliant.....handsome, caring, and has a great sense of humor.

He can talk to anyone about anything.

He is talented and artistic and can design and build a beautiful piece of furniture with his hands from scratch.

He has incredible insight and is amazingly articulate. When he believes something, he argues his point with intelligence, strength and conviction.

He is 33 years old, a beautiful and amazing person.

He lives a life of poverty on the streets now...

Gosh, when I look at how much I have lost... I hate this disease even more...

with love,
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Old 11-03-2010, 07:00 AM
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Thank you Kindeyes...what a beautiful thread.

My son loves kids...the smaller the better. While most young men his age ( at the time 20) would shy away from a newborn, when my daughter gave birth to his niece, he couldn't wait to hold her. Both sons were at the hospital grinnig ear to ear. I have a pic of a tiny little baby sound asleep on his chest as he watched tv.

A long time ago, when he was around 10 or so, a good friend of mine had her young child along, with several kids around sons age. She was left out, being too young to play with the big ones. Son left the buddies to sit and play with her. He felt bad that she was alone. My friend still remembers that to this day, calling him one of the kindest kids she's known.

Son is respectful...always quick with a sorry if he's stepped over the line. He is sincere, and loves deep.

He is funny, and appreciates good sarcasm. He is quick to laugh, out loud at something funny.

He has his father eyes, that sparkle when he smiles...the ladies fall for it everytime lol

I love him...
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Old 11-03-2010, 07:30 AM
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My ABF had what I would consider a "hard life" growing up. He always held a strong belief in his country and joined the military out of high school. Served overseas for a few years before leaving the military so he could be there for his son. Raised his oldest son on his own for the first few years because the mother had her own demons she was battling. He is now the very proud father to 3 boys. He loves children, not just his own. His theory are that children are put here to enjoy and teach, we should let them absorb as much from each of us as they possibly can. He is gentle and emotional. He does not hesitate to share his feelings with you. He loves to sing and will get up and sing in front of anyone. He can work a room and dazzle people with his charm and leave everyone smiling. He is very intelligent and has climbed fast in his field. He is known in his industry for his knowledge and abilities. He has a very strong work ethic. Never misses a day and will work anytime they need him to, long hours into the night. Is always there to help someone whether it is a friend, relative or stranger. Does not speak an unkind word of people, can always see the good in them.
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Old 11-03-2010, 07:32 AM
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My son is the love of my life, we've always been very close, he was such a cuddlier as a baby.

He is so funny, tells wonderful stories, has such a bright brain and is knowledgeable about so many things that he surprises me time and time again. Girls have always flocked to him as their friend and confidant, because he is so caring, non-threatening and such a good listener. He is very sensitive and often wears his heart on his sleeve - too exposed to pain . . .
When he was young, he never wanted to stand out from the crowd, or be noticed, then in high school, he enjoyed doing crazy little things amongst his group of friends to get them all to laugh . . . like wear his tighty whities on the outside of his pants and head to the mall!
He is great with youngsters and very respectful to everyone.

That's my son!
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Old 11-03-2010, 08:28 AM
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I LOVE LOVE LOVE this thread!!!!!!!!!!!!

My beautiful daughter, Ash - is witty, smart, loving and sassy - She's studying "Nutrition" at the local university, but loves JUNK food. She can be classy and refined, but still honest enough to tell someone she's allergic to beer "It makes her break out in handcuffs" - lol

She's an addict & an alcoholic - today she's in recovery - for which I'm grateful - but either way - she's my daughter & I love her!
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