The beauty and goodness of our addicted loved ones

Old 11-04-2010, 08:00 PM
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My son is loving, handsome, talented artist, musician and athlete. He has a beautiful smile and lights up the room. He is funny, well liked by all who meet him. I love him with all my heart. And I thank God for his 15 months of sobriety.
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Old 11-05-2010, 12:41 PM
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Thank Kindeyes for starting this...thank everyone else for sharing...I just hung up the phone with my brother. He's at another "all time low" and I wasn't angry, you folks and my FA group, have taught me better than that. But I felt sad...it was like missing someone.

Reading this, I realize I miss this crazy optimistic, good hearted guy who was my brother. He was the kid who played football and gave 110%. He loved to take care of his friends and gather as many people as possible, whenever possible. He loved the very idea of family. He adored his children. He was good to our Mom, no matter what she did. He was my brother.

A prayer for you my sweet sweet little brother.
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Old 11-07-2010, 08:18 AM
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I read every one of these stories and love them all. I'm not ready to talk about my dad (although there are so many wonderful things about him too) but this is for my friend Nathan. If he ever finds this and recognizes himself in my description, I want him to know that I mean every word of it.

He is one of the funniest people I've ever met. He can talk to anyone and everyone and instantly make them feel comfortable in a social situation. He was passionate about singing and acting. He only dances to be funny but he's so good at it! He is incredibly intelligent. He started college as a biology and vocal performance double major. He's a natural with computers and graphic design. He's so multitalented and can discuss a variety of topics. One of his favorite things to do is go for long bike rides down country roads. He's quick to forgive and loyal to those he loves. I am fortunate to be one of those people. He has helped me so much more than he has hurt me.
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Old 11-07-2010, 10:34 AM
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We are fortunate to love/have loved such amazing people.
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Old 11-07-2010, 01:06 PM
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I had an opportunity to use this thread yesterday as I was talking to my son when we went to visit him in inpatient yesterday. He said that it really hurt him to know that we simply thought of him as an "alcoholic/addict". I thought of this thread and I told him all of the things I loved about him and how his addiction does not define him to us....it is all of those wonderful qualities that we love about him.

I don't know if that soaked in but I hope it will with time.

I love each and every post on this thread. I loved reading about all of these wonderful people whom we love. Thank you all for sharing. Your love came through clearly in your words.

gentle hugs
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Old 11-08-2010, 08:36 AM
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Kindeyes,

I had the opportunity to use this thread one day last week. My son is struggling with the unclean 1/2 way house he is living at and feeling no support. I was able to tell him the wonderful person I see in him and it lifted his day just a bit.

Thanks again for letting us talk about the great people we love.
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Old 11-08-2010, 09:40 AM
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Originally Posted by Kindeyes View Post
I don't know if that soaked in but I hope it will with time.
I would think that at some level, it probably did. If he's not ready to see the great things about himself, he might not be able to accept them right now. As he grows stronger in his recovery and starts to respect himself, I think he'll remember what you said and fully appreciate those qualities.
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Old 11-08-2010, 08:32 PM
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I keep going back and reading these posts and each time I get tears in my eyes. If our loved ones could only see themselves as we see them...............

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Old 11-08-2010, 08:35 PM
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My son is so kind. He would do anything for anyone. He was happy playing with the cats and the dog while he lived here., He was happy tohelp me bring groceries up from the car. He was just happy tohelp in any way. He is a smart young man in so many ways. He is tender hearted. He would never hurt anyone, he would always help. He enjoyed the attention the animals gave him, and was happy to return the attention. He enjoyed taking the dog for walks, and meeting people onwalks. He is the typical male who would try to fix whatever you were asking about. I want my son back.
Thank you for this awesome thread. We all love them, don't we. We all love the good things about them, and should never forget those things. I love my son. FGB
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Old 11-09-2010, 02:15 PM
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This morning I sit here with tears rolling down my face as I cry over my sisters death. I found her one year ago today and the sadness I feel is not nice. I'll try not to turn this wonderful thread into sadness but here I feel ok to share with all you wonderful people.

My nephew (only 19) has never been to her grave site but last night rang me and asked if I would take him there today. I hope I am strong enough.

I will remember this thread today while I am there and will talk to my nephew about the wonderful person his mum was.

Do you remember mum singing all the time to Abba songs, trying to beat you on the Nintendo, Telling you never to go out with girls, because there was no one like her. Remember, how you use to call her Fifi (her nickname) and tell her how beautiful she was? Mum loved how that made her feel. Did you really like mum taking you shopping all the time, remember how she loved shopping? A fashion guru.

One funny thing I remember is when you asked Nanny what (Julie's) name meant and why did she call her that. Nanny said, Julie meant - "Afraid of Housework." and we all laughed.

Mum will be around all the time you know, shes watching us and I reckon she is so proud of you and your sister. You know, sometimes I think she is there, telling me off and sometimes I think she is still laughing with me.
Mum had such a great sense of humor, I can still see her chuckling away at our place.
I miss mum, dont you?
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Old 11-09-2010, 03:16 PM
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(((Justjo))) that is just beautiful!!! How blessed your nephew is to have you and how wonderful it will be for him to think of his mom as the lovely person she was. It's so sad when addiction steals our loved one's away.

You just touched my heart today, thank you.
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Old 11-09-2010, 06:24 PM
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Justjo, I'm sorry for the loss of your sister. My sister and I are so close, and I can truly understand the love you have for her, and the loss. Thank you for telling us about her sense of humor. I'm so sorry for the terrible loss. I too lost my brother from a drug overdose. It's really very painful and heart breaking. I will always miss my brother, but it took me two years for the sorrow to become less devastating. Don't get me wrong, I still love and miss him, but the first 2 years were the hardest. I'm hoping you will have your sorrow lifted too. Time doesn't heal all wounds, it just makes some of them easier to bear.
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Old 11-09-2010, 07:27 PM
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justjo:



with you
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Old 11-10-2010, 03:30 PM
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Ann, I am blessed to have my nephew and neice and my boys. I am blessed that we are all close enough and love each other and that we can try to get through this together.
Angelic, Im sorry for your loss of your brother too, it is very painful and I have been asking myself why - like everyone has done here, our family is special to us and we do love them (Im just so sorry that this didnt help her in the end)
I am blessed to have known and love my sister, she was truelly a genuine person, good person but somehow lost her way.
My love goes out to everyone and their families.
Oh Coffeedrinker, hugs back.
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Old 11-10-2010, 06:36 PM
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There have been many addicts in my life. Im sure this thread is going to make me cry while Im typing it, but its a cry that is worth getting out.
Ill start with my dad, because I am a straight daddys girl.

My dad-
My earliest memory of my daddy is when I was probably around 3 years old. He would come home from work and I would lay on his chest while he layed on the couch. I remember this so distinctly bc I would synchronized our breathing. For every breath he would take, I would take. Every exhale he would take I would take. It made me feel that much closer to him. My father is the best man I know without the drugs. He is funny. I can just picture his huge ear to ear grin with dimples, and crows feet around his eyes in my head as i type this. He is compassionate and giving. He would never eat until all of his children and wife were full. He was empathetic. Sometimes a little too much. When his friends from grade school werent doing well, my dad would open up our home to them and feed, shelter, and cloth them. They didnt when my dad wasnt doing well though. The worst site in the world is seeing my father cry (only saw twice when my nana passed and my mother left him) bc he was a strong guy that never showed defeat to his daughters. I love my father.

My mom- My mom had a huge codependency issue with my dad, but that never faltered her love for her daughters. Even now, with the issues i am going through with brian, she is there to guide me through and support me. After all, she has been through it. She is very quirky and sometimes weird, but arnt all parents??? Shes very persistant and wont stop until she gets what she deserves. But above all she is a strong woman.

Brian
Brian
Brian
Brian... my reason for being at this site

Brian, the love of my life. I dont know where to begin at all of his great qualities. He is caring, afterall he took me in when i had nowhere to go. Loving, he put up with alot of my bullcrap but still was there. Funny, i can just see his dimples and hear his stupid laugh. He would light up a room. Everyone would love being around him. He was the life of the party. He used to love riding dirtbikes and doing motocross. They were his love before he met me. He loves animals just like i do, and would stop and pick up a stray animal and find its home. Hes such a "mommas" boy and will do anything for his mom. Sometimes he puts his heart into things too much that he gets hurt. But that wont stop him from doing it again and again just because he qenuinely cares.

I cant write this anymore. Its too hard
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Old 11-11-2010, 03:48 PM
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I know my loved one is the most amazing man on earth, he has a heart made of pure gold and that's what matters the most to me. I love him for who he is and not for what he does. Also he has a brilliant mind and I could listen to him talking for days and weeks and months and years without getting bored. Oh and he's good-looking too.

He has changed lately and seems to be slowly quitting (at least a part of what he's using) so yes I love him more than ever. So happy there's a topic where we can say nice things about our addicts heh.
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Old 11-12-2010, 04:54 AM
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Mine is gorgeous, fun, intelligent, affectionate, adorable!!! I miss this man very much............

Its better to have loved and lost,than to have never loved at all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????????
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Old 11-12-2010, 10:48 AM
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I love this thread. It keeps reminding me how good and beautiful people are, and how a problem like addiction,(which is a big problem) doesn't define who we are. Addicts are good people, and probably the best people on earth. Unfortunately addiction is a very selfish disease,, that changes peoples brains, and behaviors. It can turn the sweetest, most honorable person into a thief and a liar. The pull to use, and the anxiety involved with not using is enough to send any human being over the edge. It's up to us to realize that those bad behaviors are the drugs, not the person. The good qualities are still there, they are just buried under alot of substances and chemicals. The good news is that the brain does heal in time. The person really has to want it.

Kindeyes, thank you again and again for this thread. It seems to keep going on and on, because addicts are human beings with great qualities. The only problem is the drugs bury the goodness. It's good to look beneath the drugs, and see the real person. This thread has allowed all of us to do that. It's awesome to look at the good, in the midst of the turmoil.
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Old 04-24-2011, 08:26 PM
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Originally Posted by HowManyChances View Post
Brian
Brian
Brian
Brian... my reason for being at this site

Brian, the love of my life. I dont know where to begin at all of his great qualities. He is caring, afterall he took me in when i had nowhere to go. Loving, he put up with alot of my bullcrap but still was there. Funny, i can just see his dimples and hear his stupid laugh. He would light up a room. Everyone would love being around him. He was the life of the party. He used to love riding dirtbikes and doing motocross. They were his love before he met me. He loves animals just like i do, and would stop and pick up a stray animal and find its home. Hes such a "mommas" boy and will do anything for his mom. Sometimes he puts his heart into things too much that he gets hurt. But that wont stop him from doing it again and again just because he qenuinely cares.

REST IN PEACE BRIAN (BUBBAS) 4.4.86 - 3.30.11
In my heart There will always be a place For you for all my life
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Old 04-24-2011, 09:02 PM
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My daughter's name is Liz. She's the champion of the weak and downtrodden. She loves animals and has resscued many. She gives food and money to strangers. She's petty and petite and has a voice like a bell. LIz ia artistic and creative. She's very smart and went to school on a full ride scholarship. Despite her struggles, she finished her degree while holding down two jobs. She has an irrepressible spirit and actually knows what's going on in the world. We love her very much.
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