It's Been One Week
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: CT
Posts: 17
It's Been One Week
It's been one week since my last drink. I can't exactly say that it was a good week. There certainly were a few days where I thought about having just one to take the edge off. But, I was able to keep on track and I feel very good about that.
It is as if I am now living my life behind different eyes. Because of the loss I have suffered because drinking, I am now without my precious love. He has been supportive and kind. I miss him terribly and grieve the loss of his love and the life we had made for ourselves. That is what helps to keep me on track. I vowed never again to put another person through all the ugliness and hurt that I put him through.
One thing that was brought to my attention, thanks to the SR forums, is that I am dealing with a codependent personality. I believe my constant worry over people and my feelings of inadequacy, brought out the very angry, ugly monster that surfaced when I went on a binge. I have done a lot of reading on the subject and very slowly working on letting go of the constant worry. It's not easy. I thought I was being a loving, caring person, but that was not the case. Instead, it took over my life and my only relief was to drink until those thoughts disappeared. Using prayer, meditation, and reading on subject, I am allowing myself to relax and let go of worries that don't really make a difference. I have legitimate worries and that is one thing, but obsessing, on things, that worry doesn't really help, are the things I'm pushing from my mind.
Little by little I'm starting to understand more and more about myself. I only hope that I am strong enough to hold on and continue my new and sober existence.
It is as if I am now living my life behind different eyes. Because of the loss I have suffered because drinking, I am now without my precious love. He has been supportive and kind. I miss him terribly and grieve the loss of his love and the life we had made for ourselves. That is what helps to keep me on track. I vowed never again to put another person through all the ugliness and hurt that I put him through.
One thing that was brought to my attention, thanks to the SR forums, is that I am dealing with a codependent personality. I believe my constant worry over people and my feelings of inadequacy, brought out the very angry, ugly monster that surfaced when I went on a binge. I have done a lot of reading on the subject and very slowly working on letting go of the constant worry. It's not easy. I thought I was being a loving, caring person, but that was not the case. Instead, it took over my life and my only relief was to drink until those thoughts disappeared. Using prayer, meditation, and reading on subject, I am allowing myself to relax and let go of worries that don't really make a difference. I have legitimate worries and that is one thing, but obsessing, on things, that worry doesn't really help, are the things I'm pushing from my mind.
Little by little I'm starting to understand more and more about myself. I only hope that I am strong enough to hold on and continue my new and sober existence.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
We have a good thread for codependency going in the daily support forum. Give it a read.
Congrats on your week and big hugs for not giving in to the urges.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...part-15-a.html
Congrats on your week and big hugs for not giving in to the urges.http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...part-15-a.html
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Congrats on your week, Chickie! Stick with it. Breakups are difficult under ANY circumstances, and it's easy to fall into the "I'm unloveable, no one will ever want me" thoughts.
Keep concentrating on making your own life better.
Keep concentrating on making your own life better.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 438
Congratulations on your week, chickie. It gets better, I promise. Treat yourself kindly while you're in this early stage of recovery...plenty of rest, water, gentle exercise, and of course lots of chocolate! Keep coming back; we're here for you.
Stephanie
Stephanie
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: CT
Posts: 17
Thank you all for the encouragement. Visiting this forum and attending the AA meeting has renewed my faith in the human race. There are still people in the world who care and stop and take the time to help others. It brings a smile to my face and a warmness to my heart.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
Welcome, Chickie!
Thank you Least for posting that link.
I have heard many people say that codependency was an underlying issue with their drinking.
And addressing both makes for a double winner!
Thank you Least for posting that link.
I have heard many people say that codependency was an underlying issue with their drinking.
And addressing both makes for a double winner!
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