43395

For myself, I never had any problem , with identifying and coming to terms with,'the god of my understanding', what, I tended to forget, caused by my overiding,'self will', in my view an alcoholics biggest enemy, in sobriety, he was not only just there, he'd always been there, alcohol just 'blocked me off from the sunshlight', so to speak.

Now in trying to help others I repeatdly come across people for whom this is a real sticking point, despite the advice given in ,'The Book Book' to choose your own,'god of your understanding' I often think people try and rationalise this concept programmedby their upbringing and other forms of conditioning.

For me, all the faith expounded in the worlds religions means nothing.

All the belief I found in myself means everything.

In writing this I am not tunnel visioned and indeed keep a very open mind to whatever anyone else has to say, so I'd welcome comment, suggestions and views, especially those who oppose mine, with only one request, that they contain CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICSM.

DayTrader

Personally, I don't think there IS any way possible to teach someone a God of their understanding. God's always there...He's always available...it's up to the individual to seek and find. Like you said, YOU had to work on taking down some of the walls that blocked you from the sunlight of the spirit....blocked you from getting to know God.

As just another human, I find I'm pretty constantly in the process of erecting new walls - usually because my ego tells me I'm the one in charge. Given the complexities of our brains (lol... did-ya catch the ego in that sentence? I'm gonna leave it for posterity sake ) I doubt any other "person" would be able to find just the right words to send my walls tumbling down. I have to do that part of the work on my own.

God will do for us what we can't do for ourselves but I've also found He won't do for us what we ought to be doing anyway. I've got to constantly be seeking Him...always willing to blow out my preconceptions...humble enough to change what's working today the second it's no longer working as well.

Obviously, working the steps helps immensely - which precludes us from "working 1-9 once and living in 10, 11 and 12." Each time I've started at page 1 and plowed through the book I've come out on the other side with new knowledge and a new relationship with my God.

I do a lot of "seeking" outside of the program too though. AA and the book are great and all......but I don't want to limit my experience to just that one path (or set of paths, if you will).

Every bit of spiritual growth I've had (that I can recall) came as the result of me being willing to stop thinking a certain thing...or being willing to change a belief - basically, being open to a "new" experience of God. I dunno that that stuff can be taught.... it's like trying to teach someone they're an alcoholic. They just have to come to that conclusion on their own...often, the hard way.

43395

On the 14th of Feb.,2008, alone and unaided by human hand and so inebriated by alcohol I could only crawl on my belly to bed and manage to clamber into my bed I prayed, cried out to the god of my understanding for release from my suffering, eventually I fell asleep, nothing happened. Next day I was ill, I managed to sustain myself through the day, with no alcohol.

The followingday, feeling a little better, I bought 4 cans of Superstrength lager, made myself a modest meal and commenced to do what alcoholics do, a few mouthfuls of food, nothing fancy and a mouthful or so of lager, I was sick and felt so revulsed that the lager was poured down the sink, the food went in the bin, I felt so ill.

The next day, I took it easy, felt ill, sustained myself and went to bed.

The day after I , feeling a little better, repeated the process of a light meal to be washed down with ordinary lager of a much lesser strength, there was a repeat performance only this time I hardly got any alcohol in my mouth, that day my recovery began and has continued to the time of writing.

Now some people have suggested my physical revulsion was just a bodily reaction, but no explanation has ever been offered by doctors, counsellors as to the'spiritual' effector the mental aspect. Alcohol - ISM, as I call it , is a three fold illness, it bankrupts you physically, mentally and spiritually, yet it all went, I wasn't restored to full health immediately, that as in everybodys case took time and patience, but I'd have to accept it was a ,'spiritual ' experience, for no other explanation has been forthcoming , my belief in the god of my understanding, without trying to rationalise it or compare it to knowledge gained or religion is absolute. Mike W.

CarolD

43395..... for sharing your awakening experience with us.

For me.....I really don't strive to understand God.
I perfer to connect a supreme mysterious forece....
a traditional God of my Sunday School days is my conception.

How to share that in recovery?
Be the very best person you can...others will watch how you
act and perhaps ....wish to follow our AA Steps.

43395

Thank you for your constructive comments, each of us has their own path that leads, in sobriety to a common goal, and I have often found, for those whostruggle with the term,'the god of my understanding' do so because they try to ,'rastionalise' it and in doing so become more and more confused.

For me, personally , over a number of years, for I started my,'spiritual journey', 17 yrs before I had my,'spiritual experience', when I was still drinking, it came slowly, painfullyat times over a number of years by changing my perspective, so that on the night of 14th of Feb.,2008 despite my inebriated and disabled state, when I cried out in my anguish and pain for release from my suffering, I ,'let go' completely and my alcoholism was taken from me. No ,'bright lights', no,'Elijah in a chariot of fire,' I just let go, and my belief manifested itself and kept me whole, I wasn't perfect by any means, but all those things we relate to alcoholism went, my health, physically and mentaslly is still improving,as did my stability in life, finances, relationships etc., and my one friend who stuck by me through it all will say I am hardly recognisable to the person I was , way back in Feb.,2008.

It may all seem easy, but it wasn't , I was an alcoholic for thirty years, with all the pain and suffering that encompasses, reflecting on that and returning to my original request when I posted this thread and the comments posted so far, I have always known we each have our own path to tread, but belief,'in the god of my understanding', so vital to recovery, is part of that path, helped by acceptance of an individuals alcoholism, changing your perspective so that you,'come to believe.'

Of course some journeys are harder and longer than others, I certainly wouldn't want someone to go through my thirty years,although some go even longer and many either fall by the wayside or just never make it, but I'msober today, may be not as sane asI'd like but at 64 , I have to accept the viscitudes of aging, so that's okay.

So I'm allowed to repeat myself and offer my gratitude to all who've contributed thus far and may yet still do!

Music

Well, here goes. If I read this correctly, my first thought is that if I only accept a god of "my" understanding, god is limited to my understanding. If I only accept a god that I can relate to and/or agree with, then my god can only exist in the limits and boundaries my mind can imagine. Therefore, I'm to be content with the god I construct according to my self will.

I understand why the Big Book suggests that we come to an understanding in the way it does. Most people in AA have a deep resentment toward organized religion which in their mind, demands obedience to a god that isn't of their understanding, and they rebel. So, allowing AAs to pick and choose is better than nothing. At some point though, at least with me, I realized that a god of my understanding is limited by my understanding and that in order for me to grow spiritually, I had to take a chance, give up the god of "my" understanding and accept the idea that God is everthing, or He's nothing. God identified Himself as "I AM, WHO AM." God just is!! He's everthing! No limits, no boundaries. I thought to myself, when I wanted to stop drinking, I went where there were people who knew how to stop drinking. If I want to expand my knowledge and understanding of God, I need to go where there are people who know and understand God better than I do. Simple as that! I ask questions and express doubts but as with AA, my questions are answered and supported by biblical evidence which today I choose to believe and accept. Also, as I was told when I came to AA, that I had to change my playground and my playmates, I find myself doing that all over again and I love my new playground and playmates. I'm excited and proud to know a God today who I believe is omnipotent and who just IS.

Harry01854

And this came true for me. God as I understood Him before A.A was a punishing God. One that I didn't want anything to do with. So my first understanding of a better God, was my God, All loving, all caring and loved me for all the good and bad. By the time I got to read Step 3 in the Big Book, the God of my understanding became, "God is everthing. God just is!! He's everthing! No limits, no boundaries. God today who I believe is omnipotent and who just IS."

Thank you Music.

Harry

Boleo

"Much to our relief, we discovered we did not need to consider another's conception of God. Our own conception, however inadequate, was sufficient to make the approach and to effect a contact with Him. As soon as we admitted the possible existence of a Creative Intelligence, a Spirit of the Universe underlying the totality of things, we began to be possessed of a new sense of power and direction, provided we took other simple steps. We found that God does not make too hard terms with those who seek Him."
(page 46)