mama36

Day 13 and though I am trying SO hard to be upbeat but I just can't fight tears. It started last night and then I felt better this afternoon after my meeting. Now I am just really down. Is this normal at this point? It is so early in my recovery and I know about being on a cloud and then falling off but is it going to get better again? I'm sorry, I am normally more positive but I am having a terrible time right now.

D.

suki44883

Yes, it is normal to have mood swings and yes, it will get better. It just takes time for your body and brain chemistry to get back to normal. At about that time in my recovery, I would cry at the drop of a hat. I was so friggen emotional it wasn't even funny. I can laugh about it now, but it wasn't a laughing matter back then.

Hang in there, it'll get better.

Mcribb

felt like **** like yesterday 15. It gets better. My brain knows the drill it just hasn't gotten "there" yet.

Dee74

Mood swings are very common D - if you're like me you abused your mind and body for a long time - it takes a little time, and a little to-and-froing, to get back into some kind of equillibrium

Try and not worry too much
D

wduhelpme

Hi Mama36

Let the tears flow! Crying can be healing...after a good cry you may find it easier to concentrate....also a good nap... remember to eat good and get plenty of rest. Pamper yourself.....love yourself!

Take care!

mama36

Honestly it just really p'sses me off because I have been so upbeat and try so hard to help others as well. Gonna have some pizza from one of my fave places tonight and read my Big Book. I think that this being my Friday, no work tomorrow, it is getting to me. Normally I would be pissed by this point when I had the next day off. I found it very hard last Friday too. I AM very happy to be sober and to be alive, but today was just not my day. I just picked up my Boy and had hugs and kisses and that makes me feel better. I don't want to say this too often, but my son makes my day, my world.

You guys are amazing. I feel a sense of guilt for posting a downer message...I like to smile and live and love...not cry.

Thanks :ghug3

D.

aasharon90

Don't be too hard on urself.

Be kind and gentle.

In early recovery I wanted to
hurry up and get well real fast.

I put my body, mind and soul
thru the ringer and that's all it
knew while poisoning myself
with alcohol.

Having to clean up the wreakage
of the past takes time and not
over night.

Taking baby steps in recovery
allows you time to build a strong
sturdy foundation where if u
do it in a hurry, it may come
down is a big possibility.


As you take care of urself
remember to check for H.A.L.T..

Check ur hunger, anger, loneliness
and tired.

Hunger...eat a good balance meal.

Anger...watch those that can push
ur buttons. The Serenity Prayer is
good at that time.

Loneliness....Isolation is not healthy
but taking time to meditate without
noise is good. If u have a good friend
to jog with or go for coffee. Fellowship.

Tired....take time out to rest, relax. If
we dont take time out to rest we get
restless, irritable and discontent.

Just a few helpful suggestions
that has helped me over the past
20 yrs to find balance in my recovery.

wduhelpme

Dont feel guilty! I thank you for sharing! Each time someone posts an experience whether it be mental or physical....funny or sad....it ALL helps me to embrace my own experiences and to share them as well.

Have a piece of pizza for me! ;-)

mama36

Thanks to you all. I hate myself when I am down like this...I make people laugh and feel good normally...I am a very positive person in the face of others but inside of me from time to time there is a fight. I have not been sober for 13 straight days in years and my GOD it feels good, but this is tough. I will never take another drink, I just have to learn to live without it. I have the choice to drink or not to drink, I just don't know how to live sober...I guess that is what my meetings are for. AADAC starts next Tuesday and that is going to be another step. F'ck me...I should have know to never drink again when I was sober for so many years. I don't think it ever occurred to me that I was a problem drinking any longer. Live and learn...when you relapse you start right where you left off...in hell and I am not going there again...today I am sober.

Today is the tomorrow I worried about yesterday...and I made it sober!!!! OMG it feels good to vent.

D.

LexieCat

As I said before, expect to feel WEIRD. Your emotions are gonna go all over the place for awhile.

Your emotions are not reality. Feeling good doesn't mean you're necessarily "doing good" and feeling lousy doesn't mean you're "doing bad." We'd all prefer feeling good to feeling bad, but it isn't a reflection on whether you can get sober and stay sober--at least not at this stage of the game. It doesn't mean anything is "wrong."

Just hang tight and keep doing what you need to be doing. This too shall pass.

aasharon90

I love SR and this awesome site
and these outstanding people
have been here for me thru thick
and thin.

I never have to go thru anything
alone or face anything by myself.

When I share I know someone will
eventually come along that has
gone thru a similar situation and
can share with me their own
experiences, strengths and hopes
on it.

This lets me know that im not
alone.

Living a sober is a way of life.

A better, healthier way of life.

Thanks SR for being here for
me. You Are Appreciated.

MySlipperySlope

That's why I find this place such a life line - you know others are walking the road with you. You know there are others feeling with you, holding you up.
An hour at a time, a day at a time ... we get through.
Travelling with you, D!
xxx

blackstrat6

Mama its also a grieving process for some. Alcohol and drugs have been a part of so many of my experiences that is almost like losing a friend. your doing great congrats on your sober time and yeah that cloud is just waiting for you to hop back on it!

mama36

You know, it feels really great just posting here in my down time. I get depressed reading some of the posts but I suppose it is the reality of the disease.

Anna

Hi,

I think it is the reality of the disease, that we sometimes feel down and frustrated with ourselves. I am sure that the mood will pass, but try to be kind to yourself. It's okay to feel down. The thing is, in early sobriety, I had to learn how to live with my feelings and it wasn't easy. But, you will feel better!

least

What you're feeling is normal and takes time to even out. Your brain is relearning to function without alcohol and it takes time to get back to normal. Do whatever you have to do to get thru each day sober. It will get better.

oak

Your post makes me feel more normal and accepting of my own feelings. So thank you for your honesty about the down feelings! All our feelings are real and important.

mama36

Thanks Oak. I have been quite upbeat in my posts lately but I couldn't just sit back and pretend that this was all roses, not the way that I have felt since last night. I am strong and I am going to get through these emotions, I have been through so much worse than this during hangovers and detox so I know I can work through it.

It means a lot to me that people are so supportive and not judgmental when things aren't so peachy.

D.

Hevyn

Mama - all the good stuff has already been said, but I'll just add - my emotions were all over the place for the first month or two. I think in a crazy way I was grieving for my old lifestyle - but excited for the new life stretching out before me. It's completely normal to be wacked out for a bit - but I promise it will ease up! I never have those thoughts these days. Good for you for coming here to discuss it! You're doing great.

mama36

Thanks Hevyn...nothing worse than suffering through it all alone. I tried to nap this afternoon and just could not relax. I came here and have pretty much been here all evening just trying to regroup and get my sh't together. I haven't been running on my treadmill as I used to...yeah a drunk trying to keep in shape...and smoking...and and and...but I think once I get back to the exercise and such I will feel better. I think that if I could go to bed, fall asleep right away and stay asleep all night just once it would be helpful. I entertained the idea of taking an ativan (I have it for anxiety) to help me to relax but I only take maybe 8 0.5mg tabs per year and don't think that is the answer during recovery...yikes...that is all I need. So, I am going to relax here until I feel comfy to be by myself and then go and relax.