notnormal

..how easily some come in and out of the forum. Not the right reason but I remember that the concern over the guilty feeling I would have facing people at meetings sometimes helped me not pick up a drink in the past.
I know I need to remember that this is also the newcomer section..
But I just don't want to feel it's no big deal to go have a drink and come back tomorrow and type oh, sorry, but I drank..
Just trying to figure it out..

notnormal

maybe I need to make some friends here who will make me feel guilty.. putting it out there.. as sometimes I guess the forum is too anonymous...

Taking5

Do you want to stop drinking or just control it?

notnormal

If I thought I could control it i wouldn't be here...

Dee74

Well, I know guilt never stopped me drinking...
I let a lot of folks down through my drinking, and *that* caused to me drink more tho....

For me, SR works best as a support group...support and encouragement to stay sober and understanding and advice if I should fall...

People come through these forums all the time - many return, some don't. It's something you just have to accept if you stay here for any length of time.

Stay focused NN - you're doing well

D

notnormal

Thanks Dee,
For me if I didn't have guilt, ego and pride, I'd probably be dead. But that's how I'm made up.
I just want to feel that this is not pretend here at the forum. Maybe I need to balance it out with meetings. I went to a good Tuesday meeting last week guess I'll try it again tomorrow..
Night 8

Marlow

It's also the nature of the internet mate. Where SR is an extremely positive environment for people to come and get support in their fights against addiction, it still is just a forum where anonymous people can come and go as they please.

DayTrader

For me, it's a motivator to be around ppl with more sobriety-time in AA than I have.

Helping someone new is the backbone of the program but it's equally nice to be able to lean on the old-timers and/or the folks who are totally sold on recovery too.

Andi

Hey NN, I would be writing to you with a hangover or halfdrunk if it wasn't for this site. So for me it's definately not pretend but, a tool to a better life!

Take care

zbear23

I think that guilt, ego and pride are synonymous. They cannot be separated. And ego is where all my fear lives.....it is the part of alcoholism that we regard as "insanity." That area between my ears.

Fear and guilt may help motivate you into recovery, but they won't keep you there. AA is a program of love and tolerance. Recovery is the language of the heart. And our literature "begs" us to be "fearless and thorough from the very start."

I need to remember that ego doesn't care whether I'm better than or worse than....so long as I'm DIFFERENT than.

blessings
zenbear

augustwest

Nobody can make you feel anything. Feeling guilty is a choice. that being said, i'll gladly be your friend. Good luck.

coffeenut

I think part of it is a matter of using SR to your advantage. Learning how you want it to work for you.

Really....you gotta not drink for you...not for SR or AA or anything else, really.

Glad you are here.

Hevyn

Hi NN - Glad you shared those thoughts. I agree with Andi, I'd be hungover or trying to recover from a bender right now if not for SR. I felt comforted the moment I came here - I had felt so alone before. I've always received just the right amount of encouragement and support - yet no one's let me slide if I was heading in the wrong direction. I've taken this place very seriously, because I respect these people and all they've come through.

I will admit, I stopped myself from picking up twice since coming here because I didn't want to have to "face" certain people who had done all they could to set me straight. Just saying

bananagrrrl

Hey there. day 4 for me after one week shy of 6 months. Before that I relapsed after almost 5 months.

My first sense is to feel like a hopeless failure, but I have to continue the faith that I can and will be sober, otherwise, I am fu***.

I am just taking it one day at a time and I hope you will too.

chanel1125

Guilt never stopped me from picking up a drink... my bf would always make me feel horrible for drinking, and yet i'd wake up the next day and do it all over again anyways.

For me I wouldn't say guilt ever helped me whatsoever.

I hope you find something that works for you and you continue to work on getting sober. Its not easy. I have 27 days credited to my babies. Which actually now that i think about it is kind of guilt..because i could never live with hurting them... well I guess i learnt something from my own rambles. lol

best of luck to you!

take care of you!!

intention

Guilt and shame do not keep an alcoholic sober. In AA we learn the reason why alcoholics can't stay sober. In our book on p24 it says
In AA we learn there is a solution to this through working the 12 Steps. We understand that it may take many alcoholics a time to realise this or be willing to do the work it takes to recover. In the meantime, the door is always open, however many times they go back and pick up the drink...........

NEOMARXIST

I don't drink for me period. I remember thinking along similar lines a year ago where I had accepted that in the future I would be destined to drink so wanted other people to remind me of why I shouldn't drink. I remember writing a post on SR asking for people to remind me 'when the time comes'. A depressing acceptance of the fact that I accepted that I would drink again.
I do actually accept that if I don't work my recovery daily then I will drink again because I'm an alcoholic. But it's different now. I live one day at a time rather than accepting things that haven't happened weeks in advance.

I know for me I had/have to take this whole thing one day at a time. Just for today I will not drink. A promise I make to myself every day I wake and a promise which isn't too overwhelming. I do it without thinking about it now. But it's always the bedrock of my recovery.

I have a rebellious streak in me so when it gets too nicey nice and huggy and ladi-daa at AA that rock n' roll part of my personality starts to talk loud. So I use it when I need it. My recovery nobody elses. SR and AA works well for me. My way or else it was going to be the highway, and I really didn't want to drink again.

Nothing anybody said or did was going to stop me from drinking and taking drugs.

Other people benefit from my sobriety/recovery. But I ultimately do it because I want to do it for me. Nobody else. People wanted me sober years ago but I still had way more drink and drugs to take untill I had milked them dry. I'm glad I did too. I wasn't ready before and learned a lot through the experiences I gained. Both bad and good.

yeahgr8

I might be just really tired but what the hell are you guys talking about...everyone seems to be posting about a different subject lol Will come back tomorrow and re-read...made my day:-)

Kerbcrawler

Annonimity on an internet site..can bring many a lonely despairing drunk out of hiding,and into formal conversation,support,and i guess a sense of being apart of others,and of course lest we not forget...offer a way and solution..to overcome the shackles of alcoholism..without havin to go to face to face meets..and be seen in public at an AA gathering or similar...not that there is anything wrong in face to face..some prefer not too, just saying.

Soph

Hey Not Normal, keep up the good work. I am on Day 57 and I confess that I had a passing thought tonight in my car on the way home from work- "I could drink and no one would know" - but that is ridiculous because there is someone who would know right away and would be not very forgiving and would give me a fricking hard time about it ... Me!

And I, for one, really don't need to **** myself off or disappoint myself any more than I already have all these years! Sheesh!

I'm your friend and so are you. Is that too crunchy chewy! Oh well.

The Responsibility Declaration: "I am responsible. When anyone, anywhere, reaches out for help, I want the hand of A.A. always to be there. And for that: I am responsible."

Soph