linjacjen

New to the site, two days back sober. I've been trying to get sober for 12 years and now understand why people commit suicide because they can't stay sober. This disease is insidious and I have serious doubts if I am capable of getting sober. Let's face it, many of us die trying to get this.

24hrsAday

Welcome linjacjen.. it Took Me A Long Time To Get Sober.. it Can Be Done! i Thought A.A. Would Never Work For Me.. But.. Since Early 2007' it Has..

Ananda

I have been in and out of AA for 25 years.

I now have 5 mos of sobriety

The day before i was releived of the obsession to drink I was saying much the same as you are.

I'd heard of the gift of desperation before, but I thought it sounded crazy....

But now I get it....

Grab someone who knows about desperation and recovery

Dee74

Welcome to SR linjacjen
I drank for 20 years and tried to stop, at varying levels of intensity, for 15 of those. I'm three years sober now

This place gave me much support when I needed it - I dunno where I'd be today without it.

You've found a great bunch of folks here
D

CarolD

Welcome to our recovery community....

Dream2bClean

Hi and Welcome,
If your feeling that bad, I would consider your situation pretty serious.

May I ask what type of methods you have tried to quit during that time?

I was in your shoes just a week ago, honeslty thinking exactly the same thing, and a week later I have HOPE, a lot of it, for the first time in over 10 years)

Since you have been an alcoholic, for so long, have you spoken to a Dr. of any sort yet, to get their opinion?

I wish you the best and understand, but there is hope, please dont give up.

<3 Dream

intention

Is this how you feel?


That's exactly how I felt. The despair of drinking was so bad, yet I know that I was always going to drink again. That quote is from p152 of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous.

In that book there is a solution to recover from alcoholism and to never have to feel like that again.

When I got to that point of complete and utter despair, I went to any lengths to get that solution. Like many others before me I found it worked. I had a spiritual awakening and I recovered. I no long think about alcohol. The problem has been removed.

I would suggest that you go to AA and find someone who has a spiritual awakening and ask them to show you how they did it. Even if you have been to AA before I would suggest going back. There is plenty of support here as well. I hope you stay around. Welcome to SR.

Pagekeeper

You're right. You are incapable of getting sober. We all are. That's why we need a power greater than ourselves.

When I came into AA this time, I had lost the power of choice in drink. Utterly. Completely. I would swear from the bottom of my heart to my spouse, child, and anyone else who would listen that I was DONE drinking for good. And I meant it. Yet several hours later I'd be pouring myself a drink. Sometimes I'd be telling myself I blew my drinking out of proportion and it really wasn't that bad, or I'd convince myself I'd only have a few. Sometimes I didn't think at all. I have been that person in the big book pounding on the bar and saying, "How did this happen again?"

My bottom wasn't losing my material possessions, getting into legal trouble, or ruining my relationships. My bottom happened when the fact that I had lost the power of choice became a distinct reality. As real as gravity. Still is. I surrender the delusion that I have a choice when it comes to alcohol. I surrender that delusion every day. I'm still incapable of staying sober. That's why I need to practice the 12 steps in order to enlarge my spiritual life and develop a conscious contact with a power greater than myself. That power gives me the gift of another sober day, one day at a time, or a daily reprieve if you will.

Ananda

Exactly...the bottom I share with my fellow alchohoics...

Knowing that no matter what I did or tried...I couldn't stay sober....

So many said to me "you don't want it bad enough" "you aren't willing" .....it was all about me not doing something.

What a joy to discover it isn't about me doing anything about staying sober...it's about me working the 12 steps and sharing my ESH...

My HP takes care of the rest...I leave it in hands that are not my own cause i have proven over and over and over that I can't stay sober.

Haven't had an obsessive thought of drinking since i realized this truth.

linjacjen

What a wonderful feeling to wake up and see so many encouraging words from all of you. Only another alcoholic knows exactly how I feel. Thank you! I feel hopeful and plan to give my drink problem to God just for today. Going now to hit my knees, pray, read my 24 hour book and call my sponser.

sampar

Just keep doing the right things and the right things will happen, thats what i keepbeing told.....................and it works. I know for me the pain of Alcoholism was too much i had to do something about it and 17 months later i'm still sober, i will do all the suggested things i gave up the fight got honest, and took on Acceptance in a big way. For me its a miracle i'm sober but thats how my HP wants it and today i'm grateful , i wish you all the best on your journey x

6
All or Nothing?

Acceptance & Faith are capable of producing 100% soberity. In fact, they usually do;and they must, else we could have no life at all. But the moment we carry these attitudes into our emotional problems, we find that only relative results are possible. Nobody can, for example, free from fear, anger, and pride.

Hence, in this life we shall attain nothing like perfect humility and love. So we shall have to settle, respecting most of our problems, for a very grandual progress,punctuated sometimes by HEAVY SET BACKS, our oldtime attitude of "all or nothing" will be abandoned"

GRAPEVINE, MARCH 1962 : As Bill Sees It- the AA way of Life.

intention

Please keep in touch and let us know how it goes making the call to your sponsor.

We're glad you are still here.

shaun00

Its great see newcomers in 12 support....a warm welcome to you.

i hope you continue to post your experience......
None of us bite here.......well not that hard anyhow..

names shaun......and yes you guessed it, im an alcoholic..

god be with you.

Lily

Welcome to the boards Linjacjin! I too came to the boards w/ maybe one or 2 days sober, and I came on here and finally made it to a face to face meeting...you can do this and we are here for you!

Freedom1990

That's a great start!

Remain humble and teachable.

There is a solution, my friend.

DayTrader

LOL@Keep ^^^^^

We ARE some thinkin' folks aren't we? Just LOOOOVE to think and think and think.

I "think" that's why any program of action, being of service to others, and being told to get out of our head turns soooooo many people off. It's just so contrary to everything we've done in our lives.

linjacjen - you can stop for good....no question about it. The question is how much are you willing to change to get it. You don't have to change your whole life now....but I believe we all need to be willing to at least consider putting everything on the table. Looks like you're making some good firm steps towards sobriety. - Keep taking more of them.


Keep up the good work.

intention

Hi Keep,

I am sure I have used the expression "get it" before. I certainly know I have regarding myself. It is never meant to put anyone down in any way.

I didn't "get it" until I finally realised what surrender meant. That wasn't because I didn't intellectually understand what the word mean, I just didn't understand what it meant to actually surrender my life.

When I finally "got it" I realised that surrender was something that I had to do with every cell in my body, every thought in my mind, it was everything I saw, it was like I was living and breathing it. I "got it" that surrender is vast - far bigger than my mind could have ever intellectually grasped as a concept.

And now the more I surrender, the more I realise I have more to surrender and it is more vast than I ever imagined when I first realised how vast it was.

Now that's very personal to me and probably makes no sense but I would say that when people are saying to you that you don't "get it", they are not putting you down for not understanding, they are just saying you are not ready.

I have a lot of quotes that I use regularly that have been passed on to me. A favourite of mine is "You have no right to be offended". There was a time when I used to repeat it to myself a lot. I used to be offended by everything. My ego would take exception to things people did or said because I (my ego) needed to be right all he time.

I think I have only been offended once today and it is 2pm here. So I am making progress

RobbyRobot

Awesome!! That's a great recovery path to sobriety!

stugotz

People commit suicide because they are screwed up to begin with, not because they drink. Just sayin...

Btw, welcome and good luck.

Ananda

people comit suicide sometimes because being sober sucks so bad....if I don't undergo the essintial personality change the 12 steps allow....I may find myself unable to face life with or without alchohol...

Suicide is also one of those things that seems easier to do if your drunk....

But then I am one of those for whom alchohol was the solution to my inability to live life without it.....cause i was fcked before i ever took a drink.