searching

well all im no longer searching! since ive been on here since almost 2004 well after a DUI, my wife kicking me out, missing my sons first t ball game and loosing my dream job all in a matter of a couple weeks my searching is over. im an alchoholic, plain and simple.. tried for years to figure out a way to control it. my prob is im a bing drinker so i can go for months without drinking or maybe just a beer or 2 at dinner and thats it but eventually this always happens, there is always a bender right around the courner. so this week i packed up bags, drove to the hospital and checked myself in for a week long detox. still feel like crap but at least thats over and let me tell you it was hell, pure hell and i never want to do that again. its going to take a lot of healing but im going to work on it the best i can.. of course due to the dui i have to go to drug and alchohol classes but im going to go to the next aa meeting as well, and the next one after that... soooo from no longer searching, the discussion can begin....

Anna

I'm glad you're here and good for you for going to detox!

And, you're right, you don't have to go through that again.

Keep reading and posting!

artsoul

Hi Searching - today is my first day sober, so I'm feeling ya. Not fun....

I've also had periods of sobriety in the past. I went to treatment 20 years ago, and then again 10 years ago, and it was the best thing I ever did for myself. Infact, if I could, I'd be in treatment again right now. I just think it's SO much easier to get some sober days under one's belt. I went for years going to meetings and being sober, and then slowly got back to had a "drink or two." Then, of course, I wanted three or four or ten. It's hard to admit it, even over the internet, that I've thrown sobriety away like I have.

Congratulations for checking yourself in. It takes alot of courage, perhaps even more courage, to start again. I'll say a prayer for your family situation, but remember to use this time to care for yourself. You're worth it.

least

Welcome back! Glad you've decided to live sober. It takes some effort and some sacrifice, but it's so worth it.

searching

thanks guys for the quick responces, its means so much to me!

Rowan

Welcome back! I'm glad to hear that AA meetings will be a part of your recovery plan. My life has changed so much as a result of meetings and working the steps. Keep an open mind, and hold tight to your sobriety. Good luck!

kyb5

Good for you searching. Keep it up. You CAN do it.

Keep coming back. This place is great.

LouisC8128

Glad you decided to give it a shot! The first month or so was total hell for me. I thought I was going to die. It was more of a mental thing. I was trapped in the routine of drinking as a way of self-medicating. I suddenly found myself with time on my hands where I wasn't drunk. Drove me nuts... I took up a couple of hobbies to pick up the slack. One of them was archery with my son...it's a blast...

I think one of the secrets is to keep busy and hang with better influences.

coffeenut

Good for you for moving in a positive direction!

Come back often, lots of good people here.

yeahgr8

Great stuff, get to the meetings and get on with the work:-)

You will be such a great help to others when you get sober, you will be able to highlight the progression of alcoholism not just in the quantity and frequency that we drink but progression of the consequences and sheer unmaneagability of our lives whilst we stay in active alcholism...

Sure we do stupid things whilst drunk, who doesn't? It's the dry times that we show our true insane colours though our actions 'sober' and the results of them and our insane decision making!

Let us know how you get on at the meeting:-)

Dee74

Welcome back searching

D

Hevyn

Searching, I took my time in finally seeing the light too. I should have quit 20 yrs. ago - in my heart I knew I didn't drink like other people and could not handle it. I decided it was just a matter of willpower, and if I practiced controlling it long enough, I wouldn't have to stop all together. I don't know why I clung to it, though - it ceased to be fun many years ago. I think we're always seeking the early euphoria that we can never get back.

I had many false starts, but the last time I binged I almost didn't make it back. Getting older, we can't continue to beat our bodies up like we used to - our ability to recuperate is not what it was. I know you can have a whole new life, one filled with hope and contentment. Keep posting and let us know how it's going for you.

Rev

Good for you, searching! Good for you! To just give in and admit the problem is really hard, but incredibly liberating. It sounds like you're doing everything you can to be sober now, and that's awesome. Don't forget to come here often, for support, encouragement, and a chance to inspire others with your success.

Rev

NEOMARXIST

Thanks for posting. Stick to your sobriety like glue. You know you're an alcoholic so make sure that you never take that first drink 'just for today'. Get 'working' on your recovery so that you cannot comprehend wishing to take any mind-altering substance. AA sounds like a good move. Keep posting on SR too.

Bamboozle

Congratulations, searching.

searching

thanks again all, it means a lot to me.. Im still feeling like **** even thought i got out of detox yesterday, cant eat anything, they had my pumped full of libriam the whole time I was there and now im coming down off it as well, I have a few xanax to help but i know its all masking what needs to happen. and yes im very careful with my xanax, only and I mean only take it when im really feeling anxious, I mean geesh the docs want you to take it 3 times a day, no way, i only take mine more like once a week if even that but anyway, i am blabbing... thanks again all your help has been wonderful!

Kmber2010

You are back and on the path to sobriety. That is what matters and what we focus on my friend. Stay strong and keep on going.

All the best!

flutter

Hey Searching.. how are you doing today? Welcome back!

searching

still not feeling to well, but i got some things done today, so its getting better, its just they fed me so many meds in there it makes it hard to sleep, they were giving me stuff to sleep in there then nothing. it really sucks, still trying to stay strong though...

searching

in detox that is, had meds fed to me about every 4 hours for anxiety and sleep and now nothing, thats whats hard, no matter if i take sleeping pills or what just cant sleep... sucks..