Searching, I took my time in finally seeing the light too. I should have quit 20 yrs. ago - in my heart I knew I didn't drink like other people and could not handle it. I decided it was just a matter of willpower, and if I practiced controlling it long enough, I wouldn't have to stop all together. I don't know why I clung to it, though - it ceased to be fun many years ago. I think we're always seeking the early euphoria that we can never get back.
I had many false starts, but the last time I binged I almost didn't make it back. Getting older, we can't continue to beat our bodies up like we used to - our ability to recuperate is not what it was. I know you can have a whole new life, one filled with hope and contentment. Keep posting and let us know how it's going for you.