perc10abuzr2010

here we go again. At this point I;n not even sure how I god to this point. I used to be outgoing, successful, fun - but thats gone now. Now I beg, borrow and steal to not feel the way I do. I'd love to blame it all on my accident, which is why I started using percs to begin with. But I can't really still be blaming my accident at this point. I should've been responsible with my dosing. Now, I'm dead broke and feel like a horrible person. Today, I made my mom cry. It was the worst feeling in the world. I'm not sure that I'm strong enough to not use this guilt to use again. I just need to be strong, for once. Deal with the pain. I'm out of options. If anyone has any words of wisdom, I sure could use them...Thanks for reading.

least

I don't know anything about pills as my doc was wine. Please check out the substance abuse forum. Lots of people there with experience and information.

Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Welcome to SR!

Dee74

I think you still have options

You're here - and you'll find help and support both here in this forum and our substance abuse forum (thanks least LOL)

Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Keep posting - there's nothing like talking stuff through to stop the guilt and shame spiral.

Have you tried a recovery programme?
D

Hevyn

I did that, Perc - used the guilt & misery to drink again. It was a vicious cycle for me for many years. You are wise to know what needs to be done. You already feel miserable, so there's nothing to lose. Please give it a dry and get that junk out of your life.

Let us know how you're feeling, and please keep posting to tell us what's going on with you. We care. Welcome to the family.

perc10abuzr2010

I've never done a rehab program. I went to a therapist, 3 visits - that is the closest I've come. No one in my family knows what is going on. Only 2 of my friends know. I know that this isn't the right way to go about it, that I should have the support of my family. But I can't let them down. I'm supposed to be the responsible one. I'm a caregiver for my mom. I couldn't bare to disappoint her, she is so proud of me. I wouldn't dare go to a meeting in my area, everyone knows everyone in my community. So, I'm just going to have to do this alone.

Dee74

I was an alcoholic, but I never used a recovery programme either...so I know from experience you're making it hard for yourself,

I had a million reasons for keeping secrets too, and some of them seemed unquestionably valid, but my addiction overtook my attempts to keep it secret in the end.

By that time it was just such a relief to ask for help from my friends/family and get it.

Today I think nothing beats my health and well being as a priority.

If nothing else, I encourage you to use SR as much as you can - noone does this alone

D