DES

I don't know why I'm posting this, it just seemed like the time. It's been about 75 days now since I've had a drink, ... this time around. I've quit numerous times in the last few years with the longest being around 8 mos. I ended up in the hospital prior to this dry time. I tried AA and it really didn't do anything for me. I really don't know what happened, my daughter and brother took me in. I live by myself though, was unusual they just happened to be around. I started to loose my equilibrium even when I wasn't particularly drunk and fell several times cutting my face on one occasion. Drinking heavily though, about a fifth of vodka a day, maybe a little less. I pretty much couldn't function, pay bills etc. Was just able to hit the grocery store with the liquor dept. and that's about it.

Anyway to the hospital. Was in there for three or four days and part of that was in ICU. Long story short; I have some level of cirrhosis. The doc said I have a year left to live if I continue to drink. No idea how long I have if I don,t drink. I tried to go into detox but the local place wanted me to stay for 90 days and they wouldn't take me anyway since I don't have a state medical card or private insurance. I've had no follow up because of the insurance thing. I still owe 14 grand to the hospital and different doctors etc. Been living off of savings which is going away fast. Depression is a daily thing with me, some days worse that others. I tried a therapist in the past and antidepressants, neither of which did any good. I can't afford that now anyway so that's out of the question. There is no medical assistance money available to me because of my savings, I tried.

So there you are, just a vent I guess.

soberinwpg

I have a friend who was homeless and drinking Lysol before he came into AA. He went into the hospital and they said he wouldn't live. He was less than 100 pounds and caused so much damage to his liver that he would die very soon.
I am happy to say he is now a 250 pound man who is healthy and sober. He is a miracle.
There is hope.
I don't want to tell you what to do but what happened to my friend was he walked into AA and didn't leave before the miracle happened.
I heard in a meeting today "If you are new to AA just stay for 90 days. If you don't like it or don't feel a change you can go back to your old life"

((hug))

Anna

Hi and Welcome,

The Salvation Army offers free detox and rehab to anyone who wants it and they are all over the world. Here is a link for your area:

Heartland Division - Serving Central Illinois & Eastern Iowa : Home

I hope you decide to live a sober life. No one knows how long they have to live, or what will happen tomorrow, but you can do all you can to stay healthy.

Dee74

Hi Des

I agree with soberinwpg. There is always hope.
Keep posting here Des.

D

KellySad

Thanks, SoberInWpg.

The AA meetings here in the Toronto area are very good, thus far. Lots of old-timers with great advice and support.

Your Fellow Chilly Canuck.

Kelly

CAPTAINZING2000

I'm from central IL. as well. The Salvation Army in Springfield is a great place if, you've got some way of getting there

Horselover

My Stepdad had cirrohois of the liver. He stopped drinking and believe it or not his liver healed. He lived a long life and died years and years later of something unrelated. He drank many, many years before this, but decided he wanted to live.

I bet you want to live and there is no reason you can't. Find recovery somewhere if not in AA in something else. Welcome to SR.

Astro

Hope and support are freely available to anyone who wants them. Isn't it interesting that alcoholics struggle with the decision of continuing to drink when death is imminent, or quitting and living? To a normal person the choice would be obvious.

DES, I hope you choose life. I can guarantee you it's much better than anything that'll happen as the result of taking another drink.

DES

So far I'm getting by sober on my own. I do miss the altered state though.

CAPTAINZING2000

Nothing I miss about being in an altered state, life is great like it is

soberinwpg

I have to be honest here. There are times when I do miss the altered state but when I look at the reasoning behind it I am usually sad, mad, frustrated or scared. I then pick up the tools that the program gave me (the steps), find out what triggered it (fear) and do the work that I've been taught (by sponsor) and that missing the altered state leaves. Sanity (reality/reminder that this booze stuff WILL kill me) kicks in again and I get to live sober (sane).

DES, there is an easier way to live. I promise. Living life like you feel you are missing something isn't really living. imo.

I love AA.

CarolD

Welcome back to SR...

The doctors gave you a year...if
you return to drinking.

Please do use the link Anna gave you.
Try this one too.....

National Drug and Alcohol Treatment Referral Routing Service available at
1-800-662-HELP
This service can provide you with information about treatment programs in your local community and allow you to speak with someone about alcohol problems


Get back to AA for local info and support.

Join a church....get involved.

Action.....living sober requires action and change

Bamboozle

Some good advice here, DES.

There is hope.

I saw you mentioned having talked to a therapist and it didn't do any good. Shop around for a better one...there are good ones out there....and try to find someone who specializes in addiction.

There are options available for people who don't have insurance and have financial difficulties. I received charity care at a local private hospital for half a year. I live in a small town and I'm going to see a psychiatrist later this month for free. I pay out-of-pocket for therapy at a different place (65 bucks American). If I didn't have that I could get therapy for free elsewhere. I really like my therapist so I don't mind paying. Some places offer therapy/whatnot on a sliding scale. Call around and see what your options are.

It's easy to get overwhelmed...you just got some serious news and you have to deal with that debt. Make taking care of yourself your first priority.

vegibean

DES, I'm going to PM you a link that can help you with getting resources and numbers in your area.

I don't know what to say to you other than I'm really sorry about your position but I do hope that you'll make the decision to get a better life for yourself. You do still have hope and you can do this. Your story is heart breaking but you don't have to go out like this, you have a choice.

My very best to you.