I have a friend who was homeless and drinking Lysol before he came into AA. He went into the hospital and they said he wouldn't live. He was less than 100 pounds and caused so much damage to his liver that he would die very soon.
I am happy to say he is now a 250 pound man who is healthy and sober. He is a miracle.
There is hope.
I don't want to tell you what to do but what happened to my friend was he walked into AA and didn't leave before the miracle happened.
I heard in a meeting today "If you are new to AA just stay for 90 days. If you don't like it or don't feel a change you can go back to your old life"
((hug))