A Year to Live
I don't know why I'm posting this, it just seemed like the time. It's been about 75 days now since I've had a drink, ... this time around. I've quit numerous times in the last few years with the longest being around 8 mos. I ended up in the hospital prior to this dry time. I tried AA and it really didn't do anything for me. I really don't know what happened, my daughter and brother took me in. I live by myself though, was unusual they just happened to be around. I started to loose my equilibrium even when I wasn't particularly drunk and fell several times cutting my face on one occasion. Drinking heavily though, about a fifth of vodka a day, maybe a little less. I pretty much couldn't function, pay bills etc. Was just able to hit the grocery store with the liquor dept. and that's about it.
Anyway to the hospital. Was in there for three or four days and part of that was in ICU. Long story short; I have some level of cirrhosis. The doc said I have a year left to live if I continue to drink. No idea how long I have if I don,t drink. I tried to go into detox but the local place wanted me to stay for 90 days and they wouldn't take me anyway since I don't have a state medical card or private insurance. I've had no follow up because of the insurance thing. I still owe 14 grand to the hospital and different doctors etc. Been living off of savings which is going away fast. Depression is a daily thing with me, some days worse that others. I tried a therapist in the past and antidepressants, neither of which did any good. I can't afford that now anyway so that's out of the question. There is no medical assistance money available to me because of my savings, I tried.
So there you are, just a vent I guess.