Almost took a pill today !
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Upstate,NY
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Almost took a pill today !
Man I almost caved today! I threw my back out yesterday, and my sciatica was trying to act up. I tried aleve and motrin a muscle relaxer nothing was helping, my wife has some of my old scrip left in case somebody has a compound fracture or something. She saw I was in some serious pain and offered to ration me one or two. I declined and then I opened a pill bottle that had some prescription ibuprofen in it and I found 1 and 1/2 percosets I remembered how my pain issues got me started on the damn things cause they worked and I hate pain. I just don't dare take any so I didn't. I'm hurting but toughing it out. My neck surgery is now April 28. Have I screwed myself for life to use these meds when I have a Legitimate reason ??
Attitude of Gratitude
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Dayton, Ohio
Posts: 2,305
I can COMPLETELY relate to how you're feeling. I've have daily pain from Rheumatoid Arthritis, Osteoarthritis and Lupus. . . but lately I've had a great deal of lower back pain and my hip began really hurting.( I am in a MMT, so I do take Methadone daily and it's usually made the physical pain tolerable.)
Anyway, I found out Monday that I have two ruptured discs with nerve impingement (sic) some weird Bursitis in my right hip and low and behold, a compound fracture of my pelvis. This is some serious pain!
I haven't taken any other opiates, benzos, nothing since July 25, 2005. I will be more than likely having back surgery soon, the pelvic fracture has to just heal and the Bursitis is better since I had the steroid injection in my hip. But I have been in serious pain for the most part over the past few weeks. Some days/nights, I am crying so hard because I don't think I can stand the pain another minute. My Mom has about 150 Vicodin here and three different strengths of Oxycontin, but I haven't touched one. I tell myself that, just like the times I have had cravings that This Too Shall Pass and when it gets really bad, if it is as bad in an hour/ two hours, in the morning, whatever, I will reconsider and possibly take one.
But for now, I am not willing to risk losing what I have worked so hard for over the past 3 years and 7 and 1/2 months. Opiates were my DOC, so I don't know if I could honestly just take 1 and then, IF needed, in another 4 - 6 hours take just 1 more.
Right now, I just take my anti inflammatories and sit/lay with pillows propped in places you wouldn't think to prop a pillow.
Let's hang in there my friend!
God Bless,
Judy
Anyway, I found out Monday that I have two ruptured discs with nerve impingement (sic) some weird Bursitis in my right hip and low and behold, a compound fracture of my pelvis. This is some serious pain!
I haven't taken any other opiates, benzos, nothing since July 25, 2005. I will be more than likely having back surgery soon, the pelvic fracture has to just heal and the Bursitis is better since I had the steroid injection in my hip. But I have been in serious pain for the most part over the past few weeks. Some days/nights, I am crying so hard because I don't think I can stand the pain another minute. My Mom has about 150 Vicodin here and three different strengths of Oxycontin, but I haven't touched one. I tell myself that, just like the times I have had cravings that This Too Shall Pass and when it gets really bad, if it is as bad in an hour/ two hours, in the morning, whatever, I will reconsider and possibly take one.
But for now, I am not willing to risk losing what I have worked so hard for over the past 3 years and 7 and 1/2 months. Opiates were my DOC, so I don't know if I could honestly just take 1 and then, IF needed, in another 4 - 6 hours take just 1 more.
Right now, I just take my anti inflammatories and sit/lay with pillows propped in places you wouldn't think to prop a pillow.
Let's hang in there my friend!
God Bless,
Judy
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 4,469
Hi Daniel. I was an opiate/benzo addict. I had to have surgery at 1 year clean and sober. I was able to take 4 Vicoden over 2 days for the post-operative pain. But it was difficult. Because having that crap in my body made me want to use more. I had to talk about it alot to my sponsor and other supportive people. I was open with the dr and my family. It was difficult but I got through it without relapsing. I am proud of you for not taking the percocet today! Happy Easter.
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Join Date: Oct 2008
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No, I don't think you've screwed yourself for life. I'm sure that after you have your surgery they're going to give you something or just tell you to take what you already have. The key is not to remain fearful. Fear leads to weakness and self-doubt. Know that you can use them as prescribed and let all thoughts of being high and messed up fade away.
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Midland, NC
Posts: 1,266
Here's the thing, I had never taken narcotic pain meds until an accident a little more than 10 years ago. Within that 10 years, I'd had knee surgery and was diagnosed with rhumatoid arthritis.
My point is, I just didn't all of a sudden start taking these pills to get high, I took them for legitimate reasons, but 4 a day became 30 a day, and I became obsessed with them. I then found that I was only taking them to keep from being 'dope sick'.
I feel like I've really screwed myself, cause I DO have extreme pain from the RA, especially in the mornings. I now take 800mg of Motrin and honestly sometimes it don't even scratch the surface of my pain. There's no cure for RA, and I know as time goes on, it's only gonna get worse
I wonder...will I ever be able to take pain meds without that obsession?
I watched a show on A&E a couple of weeks ago called Intervention. It was about a girl that had RA, and was overtaking her pain meds. They did an intervention on her, but it was different than ones I'd seen in the past...A pain management doctor participated and told her that they were gonna help her learn how to take her meds correctly and not abuse them. He told her family that she was in pain and to have 'quality of life' that she had to take pain meds.
Does this sound possible? Do you think that that could be taught?
Penny
My point is, I just didn't all of a sudden start taking these pills to get high, I took them for legitimate reasons, but 4 a day became 30 a day, and I became obsessed with them. I then found that I was only taking them to keep from being 'dope sick'.
I feel like I've really screwed myself, cause I DO have extreme pain from the RA, especially in the mornings. I now take 800mg of Motrin and honestly sometimes it don't even scratch the surface of my pain. There's no cure for RA, and I know as time goes on, it's only gonna get worse
I wonder...will I ever be able to take pain meds without that obsession?
I watched a show on A&E a couple of weeks ago called Intervention. It was about a girl that had RA, and was overtaking her pain meds. They did an intervention on her, but it was different than ones I'd seen in the past...A pain management doctor participated and told her that they were gonna help her learn how to take her meds correctly and not abuse them. He told her family that she was in pain and to have 'quality of life' that she had to take pain meds.
Does this sound possible? Do you think that that could be taught?
Penny
TheMostSordidSpotOnEarth
Join Date: Mar 2009
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Daniel, I don't have the answer, but I do feel for you. My problem didn't involve pills (and I took them for weeks before my addiction became active without having any very memorable problem getting off of them), but I still ask myself the same question. It's a precarious place to be in for all of us. For you, I'm just hoping that this surgery helps enough that you won't need them later. NA includes a clause for legitimate medical reasons, but it's obviously something to be taken very seriously by any addict. Talking to your doctor and especially a sponsor (if you have one) or other people at meetings (if you go to meetings) sounds like a good idea.
Penny...I'm in the middle of watching that exact episode right now!
Penny...I'm in the middle of watching that exact episode right now!
Now with fewer opiates!
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Southern New Jersey, USA
Posts: 1,405
Ain't nothing wrong with healthy fear
Originally Posted by Vintersemestre 
The key is not to remain fearful. Fear leads to weakness and self-doubt. Know that you can use them as prescribed and let all thoughts of being high and messed up fade away.
I have the same healthy fear of opiates that I have of anything or anyone that can kick my a$$. I don't challenge them. That fear leads to my greatest self knowledge- that I am powerless over alcohol and drugs.
The whole time I took them (even less than prescribed), the pills took up huge space in my head...and when I stopped after five days, I still went through a night of lost sleep, kicking legs, etc.
So, on, you're not "screwed" out of taking opiates. It's just that the consequences haven't changed much. Do so with great care.
Now with fewer opiates!
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Southern New Jersey, USA
Posts: 1,405
Originally Posted by change4penny
I watched a show on A&E a couple of weeks ago called Intervention. It was about a girl that had RA, and was overtaking her pain meds. They did an intervention on her, but it was different than ones I'd seen in the past...A pain management doctor participated and told her that they were gonna help her learn how to take her meds correctly and not abuse them. He told her family that she was in pain and to have 'quality of life' that she had to take pain meds.
Does this sound possible? Do you think that that could be taught?
Penny
Does this sound possible? Do you think that that could be taught?
Penny
I'd be concerned that I would hang on to that "possibility" as a free pass to use again. It would take a lot of support.
And yes, I have chronic pain and am a 2X cancer survivor.
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Mcdonough,Ga
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If you closed that bottle you are doing great, my daughter in law was here today and had tooth pain, asked me if I had anything I had one hydrocodone left and gave it to her. Morphine is in the closet , but I am not touching so far. Prayers are with you. I have neck pain and sciatic nerve problems too along with degeneration, just taking ibuprofen and praying. Lynne
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stagebear,
First of all, I wasn't asking for myself, I was asking about the possibiltiy if an opiate addict who has chronic pain could be taught to take narcotic pain meds as prescribed.
The way I feel about, someone would damn near have to chop off my head in order for me to swallow a narcotic pain pill again. I don't think I will ever forget the horrible detox I went through. I suffer everyday with chronic pain and I've figured something out...Motrin works. So no, I wasn't asking in order to get a "free pass" for the future.
By the way, didn't you just have knee surgery? I've also had extensive knee surgery...
I don't remember the pain being such that I couldn't deal with it. Motrin would have done the trick.
Thanks for your response (whatever)
C4P
First of all, I wasn't asking for myself, I was asking about the possibiltiy if an opiate addict who has chronic pain could be taught to take narcotic pain meds as prescribed.
The way I feel about, someone would damn near have to chop off my head in order for me to swallow a narcotic pain pill again. I don't think I will ever forget the horrible detox I went through. I suffer everyday with chronic pain and I've figured something out...Motrin works. So no, I wasn't asking in order to get a "free pass" for the future.
By the way, didn't you just have knee surgery? I've also had extensive knee surgery...
I don't remember the pain being such that I couldn't deal with it. Motrin would have done the trick.
Thanks for your response (whatever)
C4P
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: CA Native
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Penny, stagebear didn't accuse you of asking for yourself ... he said:
'I'd be concerned that I would hang on to that "possibility" as a free pass to use again'
And for some reason, you took his statement of concern about himself, as being directed at you.
Might wanna give it some thought as to why you had that reaction ... and yeah, I am talking to you
(i posted this so that da bear could avoid looking like the jerk this one time ...)
'I'd be concerned that I would hang on to that "possibility" as a free pass to use again'
And for some reason, you took his statement of concern about himself, as being directed at you.
Might wanna give it some thought as to why you had that reaction ... and yeah, I am talking to you
(i posted this so that da bear could avoid looking like the jerk this one time ...)
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Location: Colorado Springs, CO
Posts: 2,391
The chronic conditions forum had a discussion about people with chronic long term pain having pain relief. You can go take a look.
I know for me, if it ever came to a point that I needed pain medication that was narcotic that I would want it to be in a form that I did not control (pain pump or patches). Pills of any kind get my mind spinning. "What pain am I trying to kill?" is often a question that goes through my mind.
I know for me, if it ever came to a point that I needed pain medication that was narcotic that I would want it to be in a form that I did not control (pain pump or patches). Pills of any kind get my mind spinning. "What pain am I trying to kill?" is often a question that goes through my mind.
Now with fewer opiates!
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Southern New Jersey, USA
Posts: 1,405
Originally Posted by bvaljalo
(i posted this so that da bear could avoid looking like the jerk this one time ...)
Originally Posted by change4penny
By the way, didn't you just have knee surgery? I've also had extensive knee surgery...
Originally Posted by change4penny
I don't remember the pain being such that I couldn't deal with it. Motrin would have done the trick.
But, hey, thanks for the vote of confidence and genuine affection. I especially found the nyah nyah smiley face endearing.
Enjoy the rest of your day.
Last edited by Stagebear; 04-16-2009 at 03:11 PM.
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stgbear
I'm sorry if I offended you, I truly did not mean to. And when you had mentioned the little incisions that you had I assumed you had knee surgery, cause I had knee surgery.
I just felt that you were directing that comment at me, when all I was asking is if someone thought that it would be possible to 're-train' a person to take pain meds as prescribed. I honestly was curious and wasn't asking for me.
I did re-read my post and I did come across as an a'hole. I was having a crappy day...crappy week. I'm sorry.
Friends?
Penny
I'm sorry if I offended you, I truly did not mean to. And when you had mentioned the little incisions that you had I assumed you had knee surgery, cause I had knee surgery.
I just felt that you were directing that comment at me, when all I was asking is if someone thought that it would be possible to 're-train' a person to take pain meds as prescribed. I honestly was curious and wasn't asking for me.
I did re-read my post and I did come across as an a'hole. I was having a crappy day...crappy week. I'm sorry.
Friends?
Penny
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I suffer everyday with chronic pain and I've figured something out...Motrin works.
I have chronic pain and in my opinion nothing works better for pain than aleeve.In the long run I think narcotic mask the pain and nsaid's releave the pain
I have chronic pain and in my opinion nothing works better for pain than aleeve.In the long run I think narcotic mask the pain and nsaid's releave the pain
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tbeit
I agree with you about Motrin and Aleeve. I'm a recovering opiate/coke addict and even when I was taking 30 pain pills a day, (10mg hydro and oxycodones) I still had pain, if you can believe that! LOL
I have rheumatoid arthritis and I find now, that I can get by on very days by simply taking 800mg of Motrin and soaking in a hot bath. (imagine that)
This is a miracle in it self, for me anyway....someone who used to justify taking all those pills, using the RA excuse and severe pain excuse.
For me, no pain I experience is worth ever taking a narcotic pill again after what I've been through with abusing those damn pills and the hell of detoxing from them.
Penny
I agree with you about Motrin and Aleeve. I'm a recovering opiate/coke addict and even when I was taking 30 pain pills a day, (10mg hydro and oxycodones) I still had pain, if you can believe that! LOL
I have rheumatoid arthritis and I find now, that I can get by on very days by simply taking 800mg of Motrin and soaking in a hot bath. (imagine that)
This is a miracle in it self, for me anyway....someone who used to justify taking all those pills, using the RA excuse and severe pain excuse.
For me, no pain I experience is worth ever taking a narcotic pill again after what I've been through with abusing those damn pills and the hell of detoxing from them.
Penny
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