Drama
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Charlotte, NC
Posts: 642
Drama
My husband is going to leave me.
He trusted me with money yesterday. I gave 20$ to someone I owed for pills from a few weeks ago and lied to him about it. I told him the truth and he called my ******* parents. Now they want to have a talk and they are freaking out royally. I am a grown woman and a mother myself. Im not having a talk with anyone.
He said he doesnt want to be with me anymore. He thinks I used the 20 dollars for pills. I cant believe this is my life I seriously cant take it anymore.
He trusted me with money yesterday. I gave 20$ to someone I owed for pills from a few weeks ago and lied to him about it. I told him the truth and he called my ******* parents. Now they want to have a talk and they are freaking out royally. I am a grown woman and a mother myself. Im not having a talk with anyone.
He said he doesnt want to be with me anymore. He thinks I used the 20 dollars for pills. I cant believe this is my life I seriously cant take it anymore.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
awww, sweetie, I'm sorry. Dealing with the consequences of our using just sucks. I remember if I was 20 minutes late, my dad just KNEW I was out using...uh, no dad, I was stuck in traffic!
I don't know what to tell you. When we lie, it usually catches up with us and it takes a darned long time for people to trust us again. We can't expect people to trust us.
I know you're going through a lot, and this just makes it tougher. The one thing I keep reminding myself is that as long I don't make bad decisions TODAY, I won't have to pay for the consequences of it later down the road.
BTW, I remember thinking "I can't take this anymore", too. I had a choice...keep using and pile on MORE consequences (mine had already included jail time) or deal with the stuff and move forward. Neither were that appealing, but I chose recovery and I'm glad I did. It hasn't been a bed of roses, but I'm glad I'm not spending every waking moment, figuring out how to get high, and putting my family through he!! any more.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
I don't know what to tell you. When we lie, it usually catches up with us and it takes a darned long time for people to trust us again. We can't expect people to trust us.
I know you're going through a lot, and this just makes it tougher. The one thing I keep reminding myself is that as long I don't make bad decisions TODAY, I won't have to pay for the consequences of it later down the road.
BTW, I remember thinking "I can't take this anymore", too. I had a choice...keep using and pile on MORE consequences (mine had already included jail time) or deal with the stuff and move forward. Neither were that appealing, but I chose recovery and I'm glad I did. It hasn't been a bed of roses, but I'm glad I'm not spending every waking moment, figuring out how to get high, and putting my family through he!! any more.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: texas
Posts: 72
I'm sorry Nalla, keep your head up, and try to understand were the people that love you are coming from. As addicts we destroy their faith and trust in us, it takes time to build that back up if every. Understanding why they feel the way they do is a big part of recovery. Listen to the "talk" from your parents, it's their turn sweety.
And as far as the husband, I know it hurts but I 2nd what Amy just said Hugs,
Lynn
And as far as the husband, I know it hurts but I 2nd what Amy just said
BTW, I remember thinking "I can't take this anymore", too. I had a choice...keep using and pile on MORE consequences (mine had already included jail time) or deal with the stuff and move forward.
Lynn
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Charlotte, NC
Posts: 642
Well I have spent the last hour crying. My parents dont know that I am pregnant. The only reason I havent told them is because my insurance doesnt cover the pregnancy and we are screwed and I dont want to hear the lecture about paying cash for a baby which is what is somehow about to freaking happen.
I talked to my dad. My youngest daughter spent the night at my parents house last night. After Jeff called my parents this morning I knew I was going to hear it but I had to call to tell them to bring her to my house.
My dad was not angry or yelling at me. He also has some misconceptions about opiates. He kept saying '"Ive been prescribed codeine so I know what it does to you. It makes you sleepy and you cannot drive". I was like dad are you reading that off the bottle because it never did that to me. Maybe I didnt take enough. I was not a heavy user by the standards of SR, just addicted.
He called me a drug addict. I have never been called that before. He said that he thinks that I cannot control myself but that my consience and heart is good. I know they want to help me. I am just becoming numb to everything I think.
Thanks for listening.
I talked to my dad. My youngest daughter spent the night at my parents house last night. After Jeff called my parents this morning I knew I was going to hear it but I had to call to tell them to bring her to my house.
My dad was not angry or yelling at me. He also has some misconceptions about opiates. He kept saying '"Ive been prescribed codeine so I know what it does to you. It makes you sleepy and you cannot drive". I was like dad are you reading that off the bottle because it never did that to me. Maybe I didnt take enough. I was not a heavy user by the standards of SR, just addicted.
He called me a drug addict. I have never been called that before. He said that he thinks that I cannot control myself but that my consience and heart is good. I know they want to help me. I am just becoming numb to everything I think.
Thanks for listening.
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: A very HOT place, near the beach ;-)
Posts: 295
I'm so sorry.. like Amy said Our lying does catch up with us and it makes it soo very hard for people to trust us. It takes a long long time for that trust to be rebuilt. Just try to stay positive and talk as openly as you can to your husband and parents. I know it's hard to see right now but they really love you and only want to see what is best for you. It's hurts I know, but it sometimes needs to happen for things to get better.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Charlotte, NC
Posts: 642
I mean I agree with a lot of what youre saying. At some point everything has to come out. Its just really hard. Ive never been a "liar" until this addiction got out of control. My dad is exteremly wise. He has a farily good understanding that I am out of control myself and the reasoning behind it. I know it will take time for them to trust me again. I wish something would snap and I would get myself together.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: canada
Posts: 167
I truly hate drama, but, it is one of lifes little mysteries and we must deal with it and move on to the important stuff, getting sober..that perticular drama may end but will always be replaced with a different kind.....damn drama
Now with fewer opiates!
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Southern New Jersey, USA
Posts: 1,405
Belle, Belle, Belle:
Your addictive behavior came up and bit you in the a$$.
"There is honor among thieves" goes the saying. It was important to pay the drug debt but not so to tell Jeff in advance what you felt you needed to do.
I ran into my dealer, quite by accident, two or three days ago. I nodded, he said hi. I knew I owed him 40 bucks, but...guess what? He ain't getting it. He did quite well off me over the last few months, he can eat the 40 as a bad business debt. I don't have it to give and, if I did, I'd rather it go to rent or food, which is needed now.
So, you did an addictive thing and got caught. Lucky you have, at least, some support.
PM me when you talk to Jeff.
Hoping you get my meaning, I remain your trusted friend,
Your addictive behavior came up and bit you in the a$$.
"There is honor among thieves" goes the saying. It was important to pay the drug debt but not so to tell Jeff in advance what you felt you needed to do.
I ran into my dealer, quite by accident, two or three days ago. I nodded, he said hi. I knew I owed him 40 bucks, but...guess what? He ain't getting it. He did quite well off me over the last few months, he can eat the 40 as a bad business debt. I don't have it to give and, if I did, I'd rather it go to rent or food, which is needed now.
So, you did an addictive thing and got caught. Lucky you have, at least, some support.
PM me when you talk to Jeff.
Hoping you get my meaning, I remain your trusted friend,
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Nalla))) - it's really hard when this all comes to light....when someone first calls us a "drug addict", when lies catch up with us, when what we've been doing becomes obvious, not only to those around us, but to ourselves.
My dad is a great man, but he absolutely doesn't understand addiction. He always compares it to smoking cigarettes, which he quit years ago. I've tried and tried to make him understand, and he just doesn't get it...doesn't really want to, so I've quit trying to make him "see".
I had to focus on me, and doing what I needed to do. I had to get into recovery for ME. It was tough, being questioned and not trusted, for a while, but I eventually earned the trust back...through my actions.
As bad as it seems, it will get better if you work on your recovery. If you don't, however, it will get a lot worse, and really fast.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
My dad is a great man, but he absolutely doesn't understand addiction. He always compares it to smoking cigarettes, which he quit years ago. I've tried and tried to make him understand, and he just doesn't get it...doesn't really want to, so I've quit trying to make him "see".
I had to focus on me, and doing what I needed to do. I had to get into recovery for ME. It was tough, being questioned and not trusted, for a while, but I eventually earned the trust back...through my actions.
As bad as it seems, it will get better if you work on your recovery. If you don't, however, it will get a lot worse, and really fast.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 1,733
That's so unfair. $20 is not a large amount of cash. You couldn't have bought many pills with that even if you did use it for drugs, which I understand you didn't. I hope he will come to his senses and believe you. I'm sorry. You're pregnant and trying to quit drugs. You don't need this right now. You are in my thoughts..........
*Grateful*
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,619
Nalla,
I am sorry you are going through this. Your husband probably just panicked. Just remember we are only as sick as our secrets. Now that your family knows, it is probably a good idea to get into recovery for you and for your baby. have your ever thought about NA? www.NA.org - the website for the Fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous
Blessings, Sheila
I am sorry you are going through this. Your husband probably just panicked. Just remember we are only as sick as our secrets. Now that your family knows, it is probably a good idea to get into recovery for you and for your baby. have your ever thought about NA? www.NA.org - the website for the Fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous
Blessings, Sheila
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Midland, NC
Posts: 1,266
Nalla
This reminds me of my husband. Before I got clean, while my husband was asleep, I took a 20 out of his wallet and before I could get out of the house with it, he woke up....He called the police on me, told them that I was a drug addict, and was trying to leave the house to go and buy coke/crack. (this was obviously true)...Anyhoo, I left anyway, and before I got 4 miles away, four county police pulled me over. They searched me, my car, and my purse and found a little pouch with a pipe and steel wool, but no dope (thank God). Needless to say, I went to jail that night! That was the first and only time I've been arrested...and I wasn't even High!!!
All of that over 20 dollars!....Now, don't cha feel better?
This reminds me of my husband. Before I got clean, while my husband was asleep, I took a 20 out of his wallet and before I could get out of the house with it, he woke up....He called the police on me, told them that I was a drug addict, and was trying to leave the house to go and buy coke/crack. (this was obviously true)...Anyhoo, I left anyway, and before I got 4 miles away, four county police pulled me over. They searched me, my car, and my purse and found a little pouch with a pipe and steel wool, but no dope (thank God). Needless to say, I went to jail that night! That was the first and only time I've been arrested...and I wasn't even High!!!
All of that over 20 dollars!....Now, don't cha feel better?
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