alldun

I started using again on mon nite. I'm in trouble. I gotta alot of pills i want to take em still but i really don't. I think it's starting again. I'm really scared. god please give me the willpower to flush em all. I'll post later, I gotta get my head together. I was too confident.
pray for me. please

UncleChunky

You can do it! get rid of em, just do it. Run in, flush and be done. You are still in a spot where you can stop these without the physical withdrawls I believe.

:praying:

Angelic17

alldun, The relapse happens long before you pick up the pills and put them in your mouth. Why didn't you go to a meeting before you picked up? It's easy for me to say, Don't take them, but, I know the addict will not allow you to flush them. I have been clean 4 yrs. I found a bottle of percocettes, in my closet the first year I got clean. They fell off of a shelf out of nowhere, and I didn't want to flush them. That's the drug addict mind. So, I kept them in my closet for another year, but I didn't take them. I had struggled so much in the beginning, and I didn't want to give up my sobriety. Then after 1 year, I finally flushed them. You need to get rid of them. If you don't your grief will be refunded immediately. Do the next right thing. It's just not worth it. :praying for you. Angel

helpformyson

My son describes it as a devil sitting on his shoulder. Have you really put that world behing you in your own head? Eliminating all contacts with other users and friends who may pull you down like crabs in a basket. Surround yourself with people who are a sphere of positive influence. I know my son wants to quit, just like you. I love him with all my heart as I am sure your family loves you as well. I can not have him in my life when he is using and I miss him terribly. It is killing me to watch my son self-destruct and I am sure your family misses you and wants the real you back. Please seek out others who can give you the encouragement that you need whenever you feel yourself slipping.

alldun

Started using vicoprofen (hydro 7.5) again. Went to Doc on monday specificly to get meds. I had 2 -3 months of sobriety under my belt, thought I could use it recreationally. I just wanted enough to get high several times. Well I told the Dr. what I needed to and then he wrote me a script. Well I got to the car then read the script. It was for 90 pills plus 3 refillls. My heart sank I just wanted a few. I knew I was playing with fire. I used mon-fri, none on sat. Then a few this eve. I'm having a tough time with this thing. I'm not physically addicted YET. But i know a couple of days more of using and then i'm F****d. I know what to do, but I can't toss the pills. Even after all the crap the last time using (just check prev posts) I tried going to NA meetings. I told my story and nobody could relate, most everybody was there for H or tweak. I didn't give up, nor am I blaming anybody but myself. I need help or advice or a slap upside the head!

Thanks for listening to my stupidity

Sugah

When you're ready, you'll tell that doctor who prescribed for you--and any other doctor you see in the future--that you're an addict and can't be prescribed opiate medication.

As for no one relating to you at a meeting, how about sitting and listening so that you can find things in their sharing that you can relate to? Keep trying different meetings until the DOC isn't the focus--because it doesn't really matter what it is. It's what's underneath it that's the problem (that's the "common bond"), and the twelve steps are the solution.

If all you're hearing are war stories, it's not a solution-oriented meeting. It's a problem-oriented meeting, and I don't know about other folks, but I already knew about the problem. The problem is me. I needed the solution.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

Stagebear

Golly, it's almost like an invitation to Da Bear!

Why? what wasn't right about you?

Then it weren't sobriety...you just wasn't using...

Oh, come on...yer talkin' to addicts here. If I wanted to use, really wanted to, 90 w/3 refills is fu**ing Nirvana. Who you kiddin'?

Oh, yeah? Think that one over carefully. Again, who you kiddin'?

You can toss 'em. But ya don't want to. Big difference, Sparky.

I can easily "relate" to any other addict. "Relate" doesn't mean my story matches theirs, it means the feelings of hopelessness and fear are the same.

Been stupid, been sober. Sober is better.

Then my work here is done.

Hoping you see the insanity in your own words, I remain,

Tish28

If you really WANT to stop, do it. If you can't flush the pills, you ARE an addict.

Bear is spot on.... as usual!!

Believe808

Alldun
I am coming up on 6 mths clean and if I had the pills it would be very hard to stay clean & sober. I had to flush all pills because my disease would tell me it was okay to start taking them again but I remember my last day taking 76 pills and being found by my daughter close to death. That is a scene I play back in my head every day of my sobriety because I DON'T WANT TO GO BACK THERE EVER AGAIN. BE Strong

change4penny

You just wanted enough to get High a few times??? Gee, maybe you should've told the doctor that!!! Maybe he wouldn't have given you 90 w/3 refills!
Look, you are an addict.....period. You went to a doctor to get pills to get high.
Take it from someone who knows, I'm a recovering opiate/cocaine addict 171 days clean.
You need to get rid of the pills and then come back. I mean what's the point in going to get the pills, getting high, and then posting about it here? YOU made a consious decision to go get the pills for the specific reasons of getting high "a few times". Why didn't you come here and post first?
You can't BS a BS'er!
:wtf2

Stagebear

Yo, alldun:
How's that face feeling after being slapped uspide a coupla-times?

Okay...you did what you did. What's your plan for the future?

Stagebear

Jersey's in da howse!

We seriously need to gather all the Jersey/Philly SR contingent and have a little convention. Me, Timebuster, Shellslove, steve, Believe808...let's see...who else?

Sober party at my place! :ghug

change4penny

WOW!

Tish28

.... I wanna come too L'ours!!!!

Stagebear

Sorry, alldun...didn't mean to hijack your thread.

All are invited, though, even les jeunes et belles femmes françaises!

Okay, back to alldun, please. My bad.

StaWay

I agree with Sugah. You need to tell the doctors you are seeing that you are an addict. I didn't want to do it, but my husband (bless his soul) called them and told them. It was the best thing he could have done for me, because believe me, those cravings hit me VERY hard. I do feel your pain, 5 1/2 years of HEAVY Norco 10's (or any opiate I could get my hands on) use.

Flush them! Get rid of them! Live your life not attached to that bottle of pills.

alldun

Ouch, Man did I ask for it!
There is truth to what all you are saying. However Bear I really didn't want as much meds as he prescribed me because I knew it was more dangerous than getting a little (or at least i Thought). so when I said my heart sank it really did, I truly was scared with the decision I made to see the the Doc. Go figure, half ass addicts logic.
Now plans for the future... hmm, not sure. I truly want to quit. I'm angry, sad. I want to feel normal again. (unmedicated) Just be happy.

alldun

I just threw the biggest handful of meds. down the toilet and yes I flushed!! I'm still in shock!!!
thanks guys
I can't say I'm relieved yet, but it's a good step!

Tish28

FORMIDABLE!!!!
That's a step forward. Now you need to go onward and find your "Tools" of Recovery
to make you feel 'normal' and 'happy again, as you say it.
Brilliant news, well done.

alldun

I'm not sure what tools of recovery are? Forgive me for sounding uninformed.