hippychicky

I'm new here and love how everyone supports each other. I need some advice. I'm not sure if I really want to completely quit the alcohol. I definately know I want to/need to cut back, but can't imagine going the rest of my life without a drink. Do some people actually succeed in cutting back and able to carry on that way? I've heard there are those that can, but I haven't seen much on this subject.

flutter

I couldn't, and I haven't talked to one alcoholic that did. In my mind, cutting back is just other excuse to keep drinking.

I can't play with that much fire, I always end up charred in the end.

Progression is progression.. why tempt it?

I'm editing to just add this personal reflection. Every time I've tried 'controlled' drinking, I would be ecstatic that it worked. That night. Maybe for a few nights, a week. But then, the thoughts, the obsessions started creeping in, and then the 'well i've had a few, why not more? I've been doing so well with this..'

From what I've seen on these boards, many people who try this experience the same thing, and end up back here after somethig even worse has happened to them. That's why I'm back, I 'controlled' it until I was hiding bottles again and coming in to work still drunk. What a good job at that I did.. I hit an even worse 'bottom' than I had when I thought I had my bottom bottom. No thank you.. I can't do that crap.

Just my .02

ExNavyInHouston

What has worked for others when it comes to addiction can't be used as a comparison for you.

Only you know the answer to that question. My logical advise would be to tell you to give a try, but be honest the first time you know you are not the person who can moderate their use.

However, my problem with giving that advice is that the one time you try it could the time something really horrible happens to you. So I'm not going say I think that is a good idea.

People tend to go looking for sites like this because they already know the answers to questions like yours.

This site is just as much about honesty as it is supporting those who are clean and sober.

Honesty with ourselves seems to be the first step of recovery - at least it was for me.

Anna

I could not.

I tried for a long time. I would manage to cut back for awhile and then end up drinking more than I had originally. I was pretty determined to moderate though, and I wasted more than a year trying to do that.

It was actually such a relief to finally just stop drinking.

flutter

Thought of something else then I'll shut up lol..

When I first read your post, part of my addict brain thought "wow, I wish I was still at that crossroads.. still had a few party nights left", then my regular brain said "ARE YOU NUTS? HECK NO!!!!" No way I'd want to be in that middle world again... How can we best help support you?

hippychicky

Thanks Flutter. Well, it's the holidays and relatives & friends are in town. We have plenty of champagne here and plans to go out on New Years Eve. In my mind, one last "hurrah" is looking pretty good to me.

kduker

I am pretty new here too, and I am having a struggle too with just cutting back. I quit for four days and I thought,"wow, this is great". Then on day five, we had a Christmas party to go to and I figured, "I can have just a few." It didn't work out that way. I had way more than a few and felt bad the next day. But I still didn't quit again. That was last week, and I've been having 4-6 beers a day since.

My brain tells me that 4-6 a day isn't all that bad. I suppose that's the disease talking.
4 years ago when I was pregnant, I felt like I was missing something. Like, "I wish I could just have a beer with my burger".

I made it 11 months without drinking then, but it is so much harder now.
I have a war inside my head every day about cutting back.

I guess I know my own answer.
Let me know what you come up with. I think I am an excellent justifier.

Thanks for listening to my ranting.

tobefree4me

Unfortunately, I agree with the other's posts. I wish there could have been a way for me to "cut back" ; lord knows I tried many times. I could go about 30 days and then start working my way back to drinking 2 to 3 days a week. (The amount I drank on those 2 to 3 days was enough to cover the entire week). I drank like this for 3 years. I realized my body had become addicted. Gave up alcohol in October this year until a family member died in Nov. After the funeral I drank and decided to quit trying to fight my body's urges to drink every day or every other day. I sought medical help and checked my self into a rehab center that has taken away my cravings for good. There are sites out there that claim you can cut back and learn how to drink in moderation. They usually include the use of Naltrexone. I don't know the success rate is but for me it wasn't an option. I wish you the best of luck in your desired sobriety.

Horselover

Not this alcoholic!

NewDayNow

I can't control it.

hippychicky

kduker, I've done the same thing several times, then went all out into a binge. Personally 4-6 beers a day in my minds eye is nothing. I can easily do that in 1-2 hours. It scares me when I drink 2 bottles of champagne or wine at one sitting. So then I don't drink for a couple days to "detox" my body. I've heard that some people can just cut back and I'd LOVE to be one of them. I don't know if I should try to or do one last binge, then quit.

wolf13

I tried and tried to drink in moderation, but to no avail. I kept telling myself that I could do it, but as my wife so frequently reminds me I can't control my drinking and in the end the best thing to do was to stop drinking completely. I'm still having a VERY difficult time convincing myself that I'm done with drinking for the rest of my life. I plan to attend an AA mtg. at 7am in the morning tomorrow and I'll go from there.

jh1

Well im kind of new to these forums and new to giving the sober life a real chance-17th day-and have never given the cutting back thing a try. If I really think about how my drinking has gone the last 8 years of my life, it has been a progression, a slow one, with ups and downs, but ended up to drinking a lot alone and blacking out alone many times. Honestly, I don't trust myself because of how i've drank in the past and from all the stories on SR. So many of the stories are similar to mine, and I can just see myself trying to limit my drinks down the road and starting out good...for the first night, or week, or month or whatever...but i honestly can see myself slowly going back to how I have been throughout my drinking life-not knowing my limits and when to stop. Because this is my first honest attempt at staying sober i have pledged to myself to at least make 3 months and see how i feel and who knows by that time i might not even want any part of booze...but i haven't figured out if im ever going to give the "cutting back" thing a shot-but i know im not going to right now-i need to prove to myself first that i can stay without booze for a significant time...then we'll see from there. I suggest you do the same thing-see if you can go without alcohol for a few months-see how you feel and think after that and then make a choice what you'd like to do from then on. For me one day at a time right now. GL to you and welcome

Rusty Zipper

for me, i'm the guy that ate one donut, and 13 later i wanted another one...

i think i might not have that first drink...

hippychicky

jh1, I want to give this a try. Stay sober for like a month or 2 and THEN see if I can keep things in check. Anyone else out there have any feedback on this plan?

hippychicky

Classical, good advice....somthing to think about. Thank you.

Ago

Try drinking 2 drinks a day for 10 days, if you are an alcoholic you may learn something surprising about yourself.

that's 3 oz of hard liquor, 2 beers (not 40's) or two glasses (6oz) of wine.

I got 5 bucks that says you can't do it

(this is like the double dog dare part from A Christmas Story)

but seriously, try it, the results may be illuminating, alcoholics can quit for 30 days on occasion, but stick 2 drinks in an alcoholic and things look a little different.

To me that's the best "drinking litmus test" I know of.

Let me know how that works for you, I'd be interested to hear, I've never heard of anyone who was alcoholic be able to "pass" that test.

wolf13

hippy,
Good Luck with that! I did so for 6 months and then tried to drink again and it took me 4 months to fall back on my face. Some people can do it, but not many I'm afraid.

Isaiah

From what I've gathered from various sources and the stories of self-proclaimed alcoholics, the definition of an alcoholic is someone who cannot regulate their drinking.

If you are uncertain that you could even moderate, then I suspect that moderation could be very difficult. I certainly know little about you or how alcohol has and does impact you. At least speaking for myself, moderating took a concerted effort, and in hindsight I wish I'd taken the difficulty as a sign that it wasn't meant to be.

There is a spectrum of alcohol abuse. You might be capable of it, but I would step very cautiously and try hard to figure out what motivates you to want to still drink. What place does it hold in your life? Is it important enough that you would be willing to take a potential risk of falling back into heavy use?

I had a hard time with that question. Although 95% of my drinking was pleasure-less escapism, I was also into tasting beer and whiskey. I didn't like the idea of throwing it all away. But I am coming to realize that the potential harm--having lost a lot of relationships, money and self-respect--was simply not worth the occasional high-end drink.

Best of luck to you in whatever you choose.

AW2486

I have this problem..

After I take one drink.. I crave another .. and another ..

I'm doomed after the first drink. No way possible I could ever cut back or control it.