Hello - new here and on day 5
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Edinburgh, UK
Posts: 19
Hello - new here and on day 5
Hi there
Just wanted to pop my head up and say "hi".
I'm on my day 5 of being sober and I've been on this forum every day so far. The extra support just from reading the inspirational posts and feeling the love here has really really helped.
I won't say too too much on this my first post.
I've been drinking for about 18 years. I'm now just about to turn 35. I reckon I realised that I had stopped drinking socially after I graduated about 11 years ago... I stopped for 2 years then, but then I started again when I was best man at a friends wedding... And kind of couldn't control it much after that.
Since then I've stopped a couple of times - each time for about a year. And each time I've talked myself into thinking that I could control it. And started again...
This past year has been the the worst because I've continued drinking at a time when I really shouldn't have. I'm in a very supportive realationship (albeit with her patience growing a wee bit thin). And we've had a baby boy (3mnths). My drinking's been really bad. So there's been a big cloud numbing everything. I so so want to do better for both of them.
I'm also just sick and tired of it all. The guilt. The messing up. Feeling like crap (until the first drink that is). Drinking during the week - and our non-existent weekends. The constant paranoia. The affect on work and relationships.
Anyway - I hope I have got more resolve this time. I think that I know that I can't and will never be able to drink in moderation - I've proved that time and time again.
And this time I'm determined not to try and do it by myself. I've tried the doctor (waiting to see a specialist although it took some persistence to get that) and I may try AA. However, I really am fearing that little voice that tells me it's ok to have that one drink. I'm so glad to have found this place as I think I'm going to need it.
Thanks for listening
Just wanted to pop my head up and say "hi".
I'm on my day 5 of being sober and I've been on this forum every day so far. The extra support just from reading the inspirational posts and feeling the love here has really really helped.
I won't say too too much on this my first post.
I've been drinking for about 18 years. I'm now just about to turn 35. I reckon I realised that I had stopped drinking socially after I graduated about 11 years ago... I stopped for 2 years then, but then I started again when I was best man at a friends wedding... And kind of couldn't control it much after that.
Since then I've stopped a couple of times - each time for about a year. And each time I've talked myself into thinking that I could control it. And started again...
This past year has been the the worst because I've continued drinking at a time when I really shouldn't have. I'm in a very supportive realationship (albeit with her patience growing a wee bit thin). And we've had a baby boy (3mnths). My drinking's been really bad. So there's been a big cloud numbing everything. I so so want to do better for both of them.
I'm also just sick and tired of it all. The guilt. The messing up. Feeling like crap (until the first drink that is). Drinking during the week - and our non-existent weekends. The constant paranoia. The affect on work and relationships.
Anyway - I hope I have got more resolve this time. I think that I know that I can't and will never be able to drink in moderation - I've proved that time and time again.
And this time I'm determined not to try and do it by myself. I've tried the doctor (waiting to see a specialist although it took some persistence to get that) and I may try AA. However, I really am fearing that little voice that tells me it's ok to have that one drink. I'm so glad to have found this place as I think I'm going to need it.
Thanks for listening
I'm just a little unwell
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 2,219
Hi there! And welcome to SR. Thank you for sharing with us. I think you're doing very well if you recognize that drinking is causing problems in your life, you want to quit, and you've made it 5 days already! 
The only thing that made me pause in your post was your statement
I so so want to do better for both of them.
That's great, and I'm glad, but do you want to be better for you? You might run into some problems if you're doing this more for other people than you are for yourself.
Best of luck to you, keep reading, and keep posting.
The only thing that made me pause in your post was your statement
I so so want to do better for both of them.
That's great, and I'm glad, but do you want to be better for you? You might run into some problems if you're doing this more for other people than you are for yourself.
Best of luck to you, keep reading, and keep posting.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,511
Welcome!
Yes, that little addict voice will probably speak more loudly for a little while, now that it knows you mean business. Just hear it for what it is, and ignore it.
Oh, yeah, the paranoia. My gosh, my mind would go around in circles worrying about who had seen me or who I might have called. It was absolutely exhausting.
So glad you've joined us.
Yes, that little addict voice will probably speak more loudly for a little while, now that it knows you mean business. Just hear it for what it is, and ignore it.
Oh, yeah, the paranoia. My gosh, my mind would go around in circles worrying about who had seen me or who I might have called. It was absolutely exhausting.
So glad you've joined us.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
glad you are here chump!
SR can truley be a big support....I relyed on the bottle anytime i was confused, frightened, happy, sad...whatever...
Now i know that SR can always be there just like the bottle was.
I do AA....really recommend people try it out as it can be a huge help.
please keep comeing here and posting (hug)
SR can truley be a big support....I relyed on the bottle anytime i was confused, frightened, happy, sad...whatever...
Now i know that SR can always be there just like the bottle was.
I do AA....really recommend people try it out as it can be a huge help.
please keep comeing here and posting (hug)
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: uk
Posts: 2,548
Hey chump....5 days is brilliant my friend..and youve admitted its a problem.
What a great start...........Try AA it worked for me...and so does this site.
I think.........the bigger the support network the bigger chance of you remaining sober..
Lifes good without alcohol..........trucker.
What a great start...........Try AA it worked for me...and so does this site.
I think.........the bigger the support network the bigger chance of you remaining sober..
Lifes good without alcohol..........trucker.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Welcome chump! It's lonely enough in early sobriety, I'm finding, even without doing it alone. I go to AA, group therapy and spend alot of great minutes here on SR. Lots and lots of reading as well.
Congrats on the 5 days !!! Keep coming back!
Mark
Congrats on the 5 days !!! Keep coming back!
Mark
Resident
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 4,150
Just thought I would bring this forward chump and comment.
This past year has been the the worst because I've continued drinking at a time when I really shouldn't have. I'm in a very supportive realationship (albeit with her patience growing a wee bit thin). And we've had a baby boy (3mnths). My drinking's been really bad. So there's been a big cloud numbing everything. I so so want to do better for both of them.
I am also on my fifth day and I told my grown boys last night I was quitting and apologized for all the times I should have been with then but was at the bar instead. I tried off and on to quit but my failures outweighed my successes. I wish my day 5 was when my boys were babies and not grown men. Don't make the same grave error that I did. Do it now.
This past year has been the the worst because I've continued drinking at a time when I really shouldn't have. I'm in a very supportive realationship (albeit with her patience growing a wee bit thin). And we've had a baby boy (3mnths). My drinking's been really bad. So there's been a big cloud numbing everything. I so so want to do better for both of them.
I am also on my fifth day and I told my grown boys last night I was quitting and apologized for all the times I should have been with then but was at the bar instead. I tried off and on to quit but my failures outweighed my successes. I wish my day 5 was when my boys were babies and not grown men. Don't make the same grave error that I did. Do it now.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Chump)))
Welcome to SR, and congrats on 5 days!!!
I'm glad you want to do this for your family, but I hope you want to do it for yourself, even more. I'm a recovering crack addict, and started my path to recovery because I was tired of the consequences of my using. However, it didn't take long for me to realize I liked life being clean and responsible a lot better and I wanted to stay clean for me!
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Welcome to SR, and congrats on 5 days!!!
I'm glad you want to do this for your family, but I hope you want to do it for yourself, even more. I'm a recovering crack addict, and started my path to recovery because I was tired of the consequences of my using. However, it didn't take long for me to realize I liked life being clean and responsible a lot better and I wanted to stay clean for me!
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Welcome
Awaiting Email Confirmation
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Edinburgh, UK
Posts: 19
Thanks Everyone. That's some welcome. I'm really glad I got the nerve up to post.
Day 6 now and i think I am through the worst of any physical withdrawals. I've been getting up really early - for the first time ever really. Seeing to the baby and walking the dog. Never felt so good about my routine - and I'm being productive for once. I never had anything approaching a manageable life when drinking so this is a revelation that I need to be able to remember...
I did speak with a friend on the phone today. Someone who was also very much a good drinking buddy - but also a friend in their own right (- if that makes sense). Bit of a dilemma crept in - as they want to call round at the weekend. Easily dealt with by not going to the pub or starting to drink. But the alcoholic voice started with a tiny whisper about drinking but I moved quickly to squash it. It wasn't even as if it was saying "go for a drink". I just felt really uncomfortable about the thought of being around someone that I've drunk pretty heavily with in the past.
Wondering whether I should avoid drinking friends for a bit. Meet him but be honest (this is a friend that I can tell without fear or stigma). Or face the situation and just drink softies?
Day 6 now and i think I am through the worst of any physical withdrawals. I've been getting up really early - for the first time ever really. Seeing to the baby and walking the dog. Never felt so good about my routine - and I'm being productive for once. I never had anything approaching a manageable life when drinking so this is a revelation that I need to be able to remember...
I did speak with a friend on the phone today. Someone who was also very much a good drinking buddy - but also a friend in their own right (- if that makes sense). Bit of a dilemma crept in - as they want to call round at the weekend. Easily dealt with by not going to the pub or starting to drink. But the alcoholic voice started with a tiny whisper about drinking but I moved quickly to squash it. It wasn't even as if it was saying "go for a drink". I just felt really uncomfortable about the thought of being around someone that I've drunk pretty heavily with in the past.
Wondering whether I should avoid drinking friends for a bit. Meet him but be honest (this is a friend that I can tell without fear or stigma). Or face the situation and just drink softies?
Karma Amputee
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Among The Living
Posts: 769
Originally Posted by chump 
Day 6 now and i think I am through the worst of any physical withdrawals.
And yes I think you should avoid your drinking buddies for a while. Why risk it when you are so fragile as you are right now? If you were just out of the hospital with a broken arm you got from repeatedly punching a wall, would you really want (or think it wise) to go hang out with buddies who still punch walls?
Good luck and congrats.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Yea, what getr345 says... Maybe going to a pub and hangin' out with a friend and drinkin' buddy isn't such a great idea, yet. Maybe goin' out for some good coffee or tea is better. Especially in early sobriety, avoiding persons, places and things associated with drinking is recommended.
The thing for me is, not so much that I'm worried about drinking, I feel really weird, like I'm the bad kid who can't do what the others are... really takes all the fun out of it.
This feeling is getting much better now and I'm not so afraid of those situations, but I'm still avoiding them.
Have you thought about AA?
Mark
The thing for me is, not so much that I'm worried about drinking, I feel really weird, like I'm the bad kid who can't do what the others are... really takes all the fun out of it.
This feeling is getting much better now and I'm not so afraid of those situations, but I'm still avoiding them.
Have you thought about AA?
Mark
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