sunflower1776

I've seen in a variety of posts people talking about rehab programs i.e. 28 days. I think there has been some misunderstanding in some of the posts, as I have misunderstood some things as well. When people are talking about doing a 28-day rehab, is that still an outpatient program where you go in daily? Or are most people talking inpatient 28-day programs? Does anyone have any suggestions on what is best? I'm beginning to think I need some more help than I am getting, and I feel rehab is the way to go. Inpatient rehab scares me (unless it was at one of those ones that costs $1000ssssss of dollars). I'm just curious on what you all have to say that have experience with rehab. Thanks!

Sugah

I had out-patient "addiction counseling" and different forms of in-patient treatment, only the last being the 28-day variety. I was only really serious about the last.

Are you trying to get off the subs?

Peace & Love,
Sugah

sunflower1776

Sugah--thanks for your reply. Not trying to get off the subs, but I think I need more help then I'm getting for myself rightnow. I'm doing therapy, but I'm not involved in support groups like I should be. Everday I'm battling to not pick up some pills. The subs are keeping me from having cravings, but now it's all mental that I just want to feel better and I know the pills will help wtih that. The subs are doing what they should be doing--I just haven't fulfilled my end of the bargain. The thought of a serious treatment program goes through my head frequently lately. Any thoughts?

Sugah

Sure, I have thoughts

I'm a firm believer in NA/AA & the steps. I read in another thread that you don't have experience with 12 step programs, so here's the quick and dirty:

Yes, it requires an open-mindedness to things spiritual. No, it doesn't require religion or adopting a specific concept of god.

No, we're not "trained professionals"--even better, we're folks who've been there, and those who've gone before have taught us the way out.

Yes, it eliminated my cravings for any manner of chemical escape. No, it wasn't without work.

If you're interested in changing the way you think, feel, and respond to the world, then "the program" is for you. It has provided me with a measure of peace and serenity I would have thought impossible ("But I've been through so much! I deserve to be angry, resentful, fearful! I should feel guilty, ashamed, depressed!").

Most in-patient rehabs work on the 12 step model. Not all, but most. Most are expensive, so even with good insurance, it's tough getting the full 28 days. AA/NA is free--with a voluntary but not required buck or two in the basket to pay for rent/coffee/carrying the message.

Those are my thoughts. "The program" not only saved my life, it helped me find one worth living. Today, I wouldn't surrender that to a drink or a drug for anything.

I'll light a candle for you, sunflower. I do hope you find what you're looking for.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

tommyk

When I see the words '28 day program' I think in-patient.

I've done both in and out patient. In-patient worked best because of the times in the day when I wasn't preparing or planning to address my issues. Like after dinner just sitting around with the other patients talking about whatever. Or at midnight when I couldn't sleep and there was always a group of 2 or 3 people talking. Or first thing in the morning when I couldn't isolate and I had to talk to people.

Both in-patient and out-patient are GREAT, but if someone has the opportunity, the chance, to experience in-patient, jump on it.

windysan

Inpatient is the absolute best way to get away from dope and kick it for good.

madriley

Hi Sunflower! First, good for you for realizing that you need more help than what you are getting. I know for me that is the hardest part of all, to admit that you can only handle so much of it by yourself. I am coming to terms with that myself now. I have never been able to go to an in-patient rehab, however I have done the outpatient and for me personally, I really think I need to be in a group setting, where all of my attention is focused on my recovery for a little while, and be away from the outside world while I try to recover. So, if I could ever afford it, for me anyway, in-patient would be the best for me. I did alright when I was doing out patient but when I would leave for the day, it was like okay right back to square one, where did I leave off? Of course, that is just me and I am sure that there are plenty of people who are stronger than that. I guess it just depends on your addiction, your frame of mind, and what you want to get out of it. Good luck! I know that you are still struggling but just from your posts I want you to know that you are doing an amazing job!!!!

ex D-Boy

i also went into 30 day inpatient rehab last december and it was essential that i was INpatient and not doing OUTpatient. Why you ask? I couldn't trust myself to make the right decisions on my own, inpatient rehab is more than a little vacation and while it may cost a lot I feel its essential for most addicts. Its like being in a little cocoon for 30 days where your life gets put on hold and you have time to work on yourself and give your brain//body some time to heal before getting thrown back out into the world and all the pressures and stress that comes with it. It also teaches you many different tools to prevent relapse and helps you understand the disease of addiction a little more.

On a sidenote, most rehabs these days are even longer than 30 days now. When I was there last year, most people were staying at the same facility as me but were staying from 3 to 6 months in duration instead of just 30 days. Remember, rehab is never a BAD option.

Wish you luck in whatever you do decide to do, much love ~~ scotty

Freedom1990

28 day in-patient was essential to remove me from the bad environment, the drugs, the people, and give me the tools and a healthy start on a new way to live clean.

justanothrdrunk

Generally - the term "28 day program" refers to inpatient.

The 28 day program is also known as the Minnesota Model and was developed by the folks at Hazelden. Just a little history for you...

I've never attended outpatient treatment. Only had inpatient - 3 times. As far as cost, figure $1,000 per day for inpatient treatment (average). Probably the most expensive "vacation" you'll ever have.

LuvBuckley

There are two schools of thought on rehab. I've talked to people that believe going to inpatient treatment creates a false sense of security in that its easy to stay clean when you're wrapped in the blanket of rehab. What happens when you come out? How have you learned to be sober in the real world?

I think for some, for lots actually, rehab is vital in just getting those first days/weeks/months clean. Many people cant do it on the outside. They need to be "forced" to stay clean.

I would love to go to rehab. I cant afford it right now tho

sunflower1776

Thank you everyone for your replies. I have a few more questions. First, the cost--do they expect you to pay upfront for the program (inpatient)? I have insurance, but I know the choices I have for programs and neither of them are places I would want to go. What makes up the day--what do you do all day long? I know meetings but what else? It seems I'd get bored. What about visitation?

I have to be honest that I have used the last 4 days. I can justify it of course. The first day was 2 vics and 1 t3, the next was 3 t3 (the 1st and 2nd day that's all I had--stole from my dad's cabinet), then I consciously made the decision to drive 2 hours to get my oxys. Yesterday (day 3) I took 1 t3 on my drive there, then I had a total of 30mg of oxy last night. Today I've had 45mg of oxy. I made it 18 days this time. I did 'slip up' the end of Oct as well--I used a total of 30 oxys (15mg) over a 4-5 day period. I've had I think 4 'slip ups' now since detox the beginning of Sept. I'm justifying it in the fact that I used to do 20-30 pills a day. I know this isnt right. There is still some sub in my system, so of course I'm not getting the high--that is part of the reason I just used some of my dad's vics/t3 so that I could wait the days needed to get the subs out so I could feel the oxys. Today I am able to feel them more. This is how it started the last 2 times as well--I did what I had to do to get the sub out of my system and then started using again when I started feeling the high again. The last 4 days I have been so angry at myself. I drove the 2 hours yesterday and I almost turned around and drove home but thought I wanted them. Today, I felt okay this morning--hadn't taken any, but as was habit in the past I took them once I started to have to go out and do errands. I'm irritable and angry. I have 25 pills left from what I bought. I know what to do with them--throw them away. Please don't waste your time telling me to do this-I can hear it a thousand times, but that is something I have to do on my own. I'm not even enjoying them--not because of the sub but because I'm so angry with myself. I know that I could get rid of them tonight and be fine tomorrow to start the subs again. Those of you who are questioning whether to use subs or not--I jsut want you to see that this is the perfect example of what we have all said--subs are just a tool--they do not "fix" you. I have known that all along. I am getting the therapy part that I need, but I am not attending meetings of any type. I am not out socializing. I am not doing the things I need to do. I know I could start the subs again tomorrow if I wanted to. Part of me thinks I will, the other part says no. I absolutely hate this. This is why I ask about rehab. I don't know if I would be better off just getting involved with meetings here and support groups or just go off to an inpatient. I think going inpatient may be something not needed if I were to immerse myself in groups. My problem is that I don't think of myself as the stereotypical drug addict, and I always think support groups and rehabs are going to be filled with the stereotypical drug addicts. I hate that thought! It's such a hypocritical thought! Do you know what I mean though when I say that? When I think of rehabs, I think of them being filled with people who look like they've been on meth for 15 years, not looking like me--I look healthy. These are such awful thoughts.

As some of you have said, doing the outpatient rehab has not proved successful, but it can be can't it? This is my first go-around at all of this. I've only gone through detox once. This hasn't been a life-long problem..just a few years. I haven't had any huge relapses where I've been back "out there" for months or years at a time. I just need help figuring out what to do. I'm not one who likes to speak up in public places, putting my feelings and emotions out there, but I know that if I am going to beat this, that is what I need to do. How do I get started though? Its like I'm stuck in this place--not in the using, but in the not going to meetings thoughts. I know that it is that first pill that leads to the second and so on, so I know if I keep doing what I'm doing, I will be back up to where I was within a very short period of time. NO ONE knows about the slip up/relapses I've had since detox. My dad's vic bottle only had 9 vics in it (the original script was for 10), so it is going to be very obvious if he ever wants to use it again that they are missing--there are I think 3 left (it was filled in June-he doesn't use it) and the T3 had 30 in it and now there are maybe 10. So, if my parents were to look at the bottles, they will know. They may already and just aren't saying anything-wanting to see if I come forward on my own. They are so damn supportive of me--this would kill them. They don't push me, but I think maybe that's what I need. I'm not lying about using--no one has asked--not even my therapist. We talk about urges, cravings, etc., but it is not flat out asked "are you using or have you relapsed". My sub-doc knows about the first 2 relapses since I had to do a urine test in the beginning. Do you call them relapses if it's only a week or so at a time? I guess it's all symantics on that. But now I think it's the holidays--Thanksgiving is this week! Do I really want to spend the time between now and xmas in an inpatient facility? No! But my fear is that once I start groups, I'll be going in with these preconceived notions of what they'll be like and i"ll sabotage myself--same thing that has kept me from going. I went to 1 NA meeting since detox--I liked it, but I just didn't feel like I fit in. There are not many NA meetings around here, and they are all at night. I want to go to some during the day, but my only choice is AA during the day. I don't know what to do. I'm scared, lonely, guilty, shameful. I know these are all normal emotions to have. I know what needs to be done, but I don't know how to get myself doing it!

One last thing, someone said that there are mixed feelings about inpatient rehabs because you are protected for that 28 day period. I think about that too. What do you do when you get back out into the real world?

Any words of advice or encouragement are greatly appreciated.

I do want to be sure that what I am saying does not discourage anyone from deciding to use suboxone. This has nothing to do wtih subs. They have done what they were supposed to do--helped me with the WD and kept away the cravings--this is all me--this is me not following the other steps of recovery.

Thank you all for reading...sorry this has been so long


Edit--I got this all typed out and submitted, but I realize now that I need true help, so I'm pasting it into a new thread so more people will see it--just an FYI if you're wondering why you're reading it in 2 places.

ccgirl2

I've done both. IMO inpatient, if you can, is the way to go.

You can be selfish (not that we addicts aren't already while we're in active addiction, lol) but you don't have to worry about getting the kids ready for school,or the laundry, or (fill in the blanks)

It's your time to concentrate on you. During the physical illness part of the process you can be sick at your leisure; when you feel better, you participate in the many groups offered; we even had to write a history of our addiction. These were all very enlightening, and by staying in a safe environment where it was all I had to concentrate on, I have to say, I felt inpatient was the most productive time I have ever spent battling this disease.

WantToLiveAgain

Honesty to yourself is the first step and from your posts in this thread you are ready to move forward towards true recovery. Honesty allows us to admit our faults, shortcomings and removes the lies that keep us chasing the drug. Honesty in a sense exposes "ourself" to ourselves.

For me ... been to both in-patient and out-patient. I think both programs offer a lot. The key for me was when was I really ready to "Commit" myself to recovery. I went through several out-patient programs but never could get more than 45 days clean without picking up again. I found new bottoms so to speak. I love that term bottom ... Bottom is just this ... It is the last place you were before you got clean AND, "Bottom" occurs wherever and whenever you are ready to call it quits. My "bottom" always had a trap door and even though I thought I seen it all and would get clean for another 30 days or whatever, I continued to fall and fall harder.

It was until I had nowhere else to go (what some call "Bottom") ... homeless with no possessions ... that I put myself into an in-patient rehab program. In the state of Pennsylvania when you are in that situation you are offered basically a once a year program that the state will provide assistance. I took that opportunity and stuck it out. The one thing different about in-patient was as others have noted ... there is nothing else to do, other than stay clean. So this sets a good model for you to carry forward once you get out. They bring meetings into the facility and you make acquaintances that in some cases you carry with you after rehab and break the ice of meetings on the outside with these new friends. This worked for me ... well, it worked until I stopped working 105 Days into my new found lifestyle of living clean.

I didn't understand why I relapsed after all this work and I found a new "Bottom". This "Bottom" was a realization that I was completely helpless, hopeless and beyond desperate. All the tools in the world were meaningless to a man with no carpentry skills. I went back to NA and cried my heart out that I felt the way I did. I told them it was over and I just couldn't do it anymore and that I wasn't asking for help but more or less just coming back to tell others how bad it is out there and no matter how bad you think it is being clean ... USING is far worse. I felt I owed to myself to share one more time at a meeting and be honest with others and who knows, maybe it would help some else or maybe even me.

Strangest thing happened. This dude asked me to go to another meeting and at that meeting I bumped into a guy I met right after this in-patient rehab. We talked and he agreed to be my sponsor. To this day I scratch my head and wonder about the circumstances of that night. I remember the one thing he told me that stuck with me more than anything.

"COMMITMENT" .... All the rehabs in the world and the all the meetings and prayers and blah blah blah are meaningless without "Commitment". It doesn't matter where you go, what you do, what meds you take, what god you pray to ... all of that is window dressing without "Commitment" to yourself, to your cause, to your life ... For me, that is what makes the difference.

I can name a number of people I know today who are clean who have come from in-patient 28 day programs, 90 day programs, out-patient programs of 28-45 days, some who never went to rehab and some who detoxed on their own and others who spent 5 days in the hospital detoxing ... they all have one thing in common ... "Commitment" to staying clean and living a clean way of life. That "Commitment" is what separates the people in the revolving door and the people that are season ticket holders.

I eventually relapsed after almost four years of being clean and it was clear to me that the "Commitment" is what started to fade away in my life and that was the ***** in the armor that I spent years building. I have never liked that saying you hear in the rooms or in rehabs ... :It is always about the drug" ... for me it always need to be about "What brings me to the drug" ... The thoughts, that allowed me after years of being clean, thoughts that justified in my mind, putting mind and mood altering substances in my body again. Whether I look at my using before experiencing clean time or I look at the relapse ... it was about escaping the thoughts that turned into urges and eventually cravings that I gave into. The relapse was months in the making and I didn't even see it coming. That is why "Commitment" is so important. "Commitment" keeps you sharp and aware ... keeps you honest about yourself.

Like I said at the beginning of the post, you seem to be having the "Honesty" thing going on right so time to take advantage of that and "Commit" to some form of recovery ... whatever one is right for you and any one of them could be the right one ... You will know what is right if you maintain the kind of honesty you are showing now. Honesty will get you in the game and commitment will have you playing well.

Good Luck in whatever method you choose!!!

tommyk

I have insurance, but I know the choices I have for programs and neither of them are places I would want to go.

I've found that people who decide to pick and choose where they will go to rehab, thinking their diseased mind can 'evaluate' what is best for them, don't succeed very well.

Whereas the people who are at death's doorstep and get their diseased self into the first rehab that will take them, and begin working on their problems, do fairly well.

I knew that friend of mine had not reached his bottom yet when he stated flat out that there was one rehab place he absolutely would NOT consider under any circumstances. Coincidentally, this was the only rehab available at that moment. He just wasn't ready for rehab yet. (He did eventually go to that particular rehab.)

If a person can get into a rehab, get in. The opportunity might not be there tomorrow (and you might not be here either).

Just my opinion and my observations.

Lily

Back in 1991 I went to a 6 month in house rehab house called KIVA. It was a womens home with 42 women living there. It was in San Diego and it was paid by med-i-cal. (I was jobless and had a 2 yr old) Sure I would have loved to have been in a posh place like Britney Spears, Promises or something, but Kiva was GREAT!

I learned a lot there.

I would say at least 28 days in house minimum. I would also keep an open mind and don't go into major debt for this freedom you seek. Remember that expensive does not equal better recovery.

As far as what I did.....I will try to remember my schedule.

7:30 Exercise (we played softball, took a hike, or volleyball) all as a group, all 42 of us.

8:30 Breakfast

9:00 Serenity time (sit alone, meditate, read spiritual literature, be alone)

9:30 Chores (we all knew what we had to do and did it)

10:00 Structure (we worked our steps) wrote, we all has assignments

12:00 Lunch & freetime

1:30 -3:30 structure

3:30 freetime break

4:00 group

5:00 Dinner

6:30 the 2 vans would leave to take a total of 12 women to outside meetings (we all did 3 outside meetings per week)

the rest would have a house AA/or NA meeting.

freetime and bed

It went something like that. People had to rotate to work in the kitchen for 2 weeks, menu plan and shop for groceries.

It was actually a lot of fun. I missed it a lot when I left.

I got visits from home on the weekends.

my son came to live w/ me after 3 months. the childcare rotated.

on the weekends we had to help out at the bingo hall. that was fun too!

I think you would love it! I hear the rehabs are a lot different now, but KIVA still runs the same.

Get in treatment and get clean! you will be so happy to be FREE!

blessings, Sheila

justanothrdrunk

My most recent stretch in rehab was 5 months. Here's what we did:

7:00 - wake up
7:30 - breakfast followed by your "TDA" (therapeutic daily activity - chores)
8:30 - morning meditation
9:30 - group (some days mens group, 12 step group, small group, big book group, etc. - regular weekly schedule)
11:30 - lunch
12:30 - group sharing (we had regular written assignments assigned by your counselor, there was a schedule and individuals presented their work with discussion)
2:00 - 5:00 - Some days free time, other days were structured activity that centered around physicial activity, relaxation, meditation, etc.
5:00 - dinner
6:00 - group sharing
7:00 - outside AA meetings - everyone was required to attend 2 outside AA meetings per week

Everyone was responsible for making their bed every day, keeping their room tidy, and a chore that rotated weekly.

The above schedule was Monday - Friday. Weekends had lots more open time with there being a group in the AM and that was about it. Family could visit on Sundays.

There were a couple phones that could be used to make outside calls and receive incoming calls. This was limited to free times only (generally) with the expectation of 15 mins on the phone per day. We could receive letters and packages. All packages had to be opened in the presence of staff.

TV was limited to only after 3 or 4 PM on the weekdays and all day on Sat/Sun.

There was no "lights out" time, though you were expected to be quiet after 10 - no radios or anything that may disturb sleep. You also had to remain in the dorm or unit after 10 PM. This place was fairly large with several dorms/units.

During free time you could pretty much go anywhere on the grounds at your leisure. Folks could get day/overnight passes to leave the grounds with some conditions tied to that. You had to submit to a drug test upon your return from that.

Many folks also had regular appointments with mental health staff that were scheduled based on their individual needs as well as other individual/family counseling sessions.

During the evenings, we had all sorts of parties and whatnot. Whenever anyone was going to go home, or when there was a holiday we had a little party. Being that we were all there for 5 months, we also got a weekly trip to Wal-Mart to get whatever so there was always a ton of junk food at our parties. We had talent nights, game nights, movie nights, costume parties, etc.

Along with the above, there were all sorts of rules regarding conduct and behavior. Mostly was no-brainer stuff. Some of the rules escaped my own logic, but whatever. They had their reasons I'm sure.

LadyTennII

inpatient was the best tool for me and kept me sober the longest ever. It was very cozy and the whole stay cost 11,000.00 BUT I never had to pay a dime, they were gonna file with my insurance, and after I came home, I got a bill for a 100.00 copay. awesome huh. The food is generally great there, they want you to eat, eat. when you are first there you get comfort meds to detox, and they watch you closely, I dont remember feeling very bad at all. Anyway, the people are just like you, people trying to get help, and I made some of the best friends ever in there. Very structured schedule, as they stated above, but it was a great place to be, heck, we even went out for outings and went go cart riding, lol. when we would go places on the van we called it the "druggy buggy" lol. I think it would be a fantastic decision for you Sun. If you have any questions at all about inpatient rehab, please PM me, and I would love to talk about it with you. I think its your best option IMO. Love, Becky