Attempt at Moderation--What do you think of this plan?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 10
Attempt at Moderation--What do you think of this plan?
I have concerns over my alcohol consumption and problems I've had--so now is my "last stand." I'm going sober for 3 weeks, after which I'll return to drinking but set strict moderation limits--no more than 2 times per week and 3-4 drinks per night. If I can't follow this, I will recognize that I'm unable to control my drinking and at that point pursue sobriety. If I can, I will continue to try to stay in moderation and keep watch. At 19, I want to give one last attempt at moderation before I say goodbye to drinking forever.
What do you think of this plan? Is it worth a try? Or am I just fooling myself?
What do you think of this plan? Is it worth a try? Or am I just fooling myself?
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,514
Only you can decide if you're an alcoholic. Is alcohol disrupting your life in any way? If you are an alcoholic, you will not be able to control your drinking, at least not in the long term. If you are not an alcoholic, you should have no problems.
All I can say, is that I tried to moderate for at least a year, determined to make it work. It got worse and I caused myself more damage in all aspects of my life. Also, during that time, all I did was think about alcohol - when would I next drink, how much, where? It was actually such a relief to finally stop.
We're here to offer support.
All I can say, is that I tried to moderate for at least a year, determined to make it work. It got worse and I caused myself more damage in all aspects of my life. Also, during that time, all I did was think about alcohol - when would I next drink, how much, where? It was actually such a relief to finally stop.
We're here to offer support.
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 347
A friend of mine kicked meth 4 years ago, and coke 2 years ago, and set almost the exact same strict rules for drinking. Last week I talked with him, after he'd broken his rules, and gotten drunk. He wasn't feeling especially bad, or craving- but he didn't have the ability to stop refilling his drinks either.
So... I'll tell you the same thing I told him.
Let me know how that works out for ya.
I'm 20 now... and you say you're 19. If you could really control it- do you suppose you'd be checking out a sobriety forum, and asking if you're an alcoholic two years before you can legally enter a bar?
So... I'll tell you the same thing I told him.
Let me know how that works out for ya.
I'm 20 now... and you say you're 19. If you could really control it- do you suppose you'd be checking out a sobriety forum, and asking if you're an alcoholic two years before you can legally enter a bar?
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,061
Here's the test that AA offers Alcoholics Anonymous : I always had a problem answering it honestly. When I take the test now I can answer yes to just about all of the questions.
My experience only: I tried moderation for many years. Every time I'd start off great and then my drinking would increase with a vengeance, I'd usually end up worse than I ever was.
Abstinence was the only method that ever worked. That meant never taking a drink again. AA is what keeps me going now, and there are plenty of people your age or younger at our meetings. Whatever you decide, I hope you find something that works for you.
My experience only: I tried moderation for many years. Every time I'd start off great and then my drinking would increase with a vengeance, I'd usually end up worse than I ever was.
Abstinence was the only method that ever worked. That meant never taking a drink again. AA is what keeps me going now, and there are plenty of people your age or younger at our meetings. Whatever you decide, I hope you find something that works for you.
FreeSpirit
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Inside My Spirit
Posts: 1,274
"Crossing the River of Denial"
She finally realized that when she enjoyed her Drinking,
she couldn't control it, and when she controlled it, she couldn't
enjoy it......................:codiepolice
She finally realized that when she enjoyed her Drinking,
she couldn't control it, and when she controlled it, she couldn't
enjoy it......................:codiepolice
Sober since 9th May 2008
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 2,973
I don't think normal people who have no problem with alcohol question their drinking habits, they don't count how many drinks they are having or how many sober days they have.
The fact you are here suggests that you already know you have a problem.
Guess you have to do what you have to do though and if that means stopping then starting again to find out ....................................
The one thing I am pretty sure about is that you'll find some very supportive people here whenever/if you need them.
Hope you find the answers you are looking for.
The fact you are here suggests that you already know you have a problem.
Guess you have to do what you have to do though and if that means stopping then starting again to find out ....................................
The one thing I am pretty sure about is that you'll find some very supportive people here whenever/if you need them.
Hope you find the answers you are looking for.
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,915
Every couple of weeks or so, someone posts almost that exact same thing. It's hard to think that we just cannot ever drink again. Dammit!! It's not fair!! But, alas...total abstinance is the only thing that really works for an alcoholic. You might be able to control your drinking for a while simply because you will be so aware of it. But, after awhile, the new will wear off and before you know it, you'll be back drinking regularly. However, if you feel the need to try moderation, I say go ahead. Maybe it'll work for you even though it very, very rarely works for a true alcoholic. Good luck to you!
To Thine Own Self Be True
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: So Cal
Posts: 1,946
Good luck James.
Yup, right there with sct. Ummm, at 19 the last place I would have been is on a recovery forum asking a bunch of addicts and alcoholics what they think of my plan for moderating my drinking
BUT if I HAD been smart enough to find a place like this then, maybe I wouldn't be starting sobriety all over again at 39.
Please do come back and let us know how that works out for you.
Yup, right there with sct. Ummm, at 19 the last place I would have been is on a recovery forum asking a bunch of addicts and alcoholics what they think of my plan for moderating my drinking
BUT if I HAD been smart enough to find a place like this then, maybe I wouldn't be starting sobriety all over again at 39.
Please do come back and let us know how that works out for you.
member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,433
Hi James
My advice is: don't get hooked on words. "Alcoholic" is just a broad label with as many meanings as there are drinkers - and nondrinkers. I played the semantics game for years, and I still struggle with it. However, answering these simple questions honestly has cleared up a lot of my confusion:
Would my life be easier if it didn't include booze? Would I be happier if I just let it go and moved on?
My answer is a resounding YES!! What's yours?
Welcome to SR
My advice is: don't get hooked on words. "Alcoholic" is just a broad label with as many meanings as there are drinkers - and nondrinkers. I played the semantics game for years, and I still struggle with it. However, answering these simple questions honestly has cleared up a lot of my confusion:
Would my life be easier if it didn't include booze? Would I be happier if I just let it go and moved on?
My answer is a resounding YES!! What's yours?
Welcome to SR
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 700
Was 18 .. 2 months before my 19th birthday when I sobered up. The last thing I wanted to be at that age was an alcoholic. But the madness had to stop, for the safety of others and myself.
Good luck .. hope it works.. Let us know..
Remember there is a solution for you if you fail.
Good luck .. hope it works.. Let us know..
Remember there is a solution for you if you fail.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,574
Congratulations for realizing there's a problem at your age. All I can tell you is, the moderation thing never worked for me - never once - and oh how I tried to make it! Anything but give it up all together! That way of thinking led me down a dangerous and scary road. I've only quit 6 mos. ago - how I'd love to have back all those precious years. Love, Joanie
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
I think, at 19, that you're even posting here, planning a three week break, and looking at moderating your alcohol consumption is great
Give it a go.
I really hope you find you can work it that way
Good luck James!
D
Give it a go.
I really hope you find you can work it that way
Good luck James!
D
mle-sober
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Golden, CO
Posts: 1,243
James,
I agree with Dee completely. You impress me. At 19, to be be here posting and to be trying to moderate and trying to find the answer - all I can say is good job!
Looking back, I was certainly an alcoholic at 19 but I didn't have any of the insight you have and drinking was a major part of my life that I refused to question. I'm 40 now and have been sober for about 5 months. I hurt a lot of people in those 20 years.
Good for you. Try it and see. That's a good start.
- MLE
I agree with Dee completely. You impress me. At 19, to be be here posting and to be trying to moderate and trying to find the answer - all I can say is good job!
Looking back, I was certainly an alcoholic at 19 but I didn't have any of the insight you have and drinking was a major part of my life that I refused to question. I'm 40 now and have been sober for about 5 months. I hurt a lot of people in those 20 years.
Good for you. Try it and see. That's a good start.
- MLE
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Brooklyn, New York
Posts: 88
Hi James:
Wow, I can't tell you how hard I tried to moderate my drinking/using. I always thought I was approaching it in a different way than other people had tried...only drinking/using with a specific person who wasn't an alkie/duggie, only doing it for 2 hours on Saturdays, ...etc. but it all ended up the same way, with me crawling on the floor to the head to make my praises to the commode gods, and losing jobs, and friends and girlfriends. I couldn't do it.
If you succeed, my hat's off to you. Please do come back and let us know how it turns out for you, okay?
Wow, I can't tell you how hard I tried to moderate my drinking/using. I always thought I was approaching it in a different way than other people had tried...only drinking/using with a specific person who wasn't an alkie/duggie, only doing it for 2 hours on Saturdays, ...etc. but it all ended up the same way, with me crawling on the floor to the head to make my praises to the commode gods, and losing jobs, and friends and girlfriends. I couldn't do it.
If you succeed, my hat's off to you. Please do come back and let us know how it turns out for you, okay?
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 347
Maybe rather than looking at it as "losing" drinking for the rest of your life- think of the things you have to gain.
If you live to be 75- and manage to stop and stay stopped now, that's 5,824 days that you don't have to wake up hung over.
Even if all you drink is 3 drinks, not four, twice a week, by NOT doing that, you'll save $34,944. That's not counting dui's, court fees, etc, should any of those be racked up. That's just cheap beer, twice a week.
Buy a car instead, and drive that for the next 50 years
If you live to be 75- and manage to stop and stay stopped now, that's 5,824 days that you don't have to wake up hung over.
Even if all you drink is 3 drinks, not four, twice a week, by NOT doing that, you'll save $34,944. That's not counting dui's, court fees, etc, should any of those be racked up. That's just cheap beer, twice a week.
Buy a car instead, and drive that for the next 50 years
Member
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
Posts: 201
This is a quote from the alcoholism forum.
"I would go off the deep end in a binge lasting some number of days. These binges always reached absurd depths, large quantities of alcohol, round the clock drinking, blackouts, hurting myself, very dangerous behavior. Ultimately it was the total loss of control during these binges that convinced me I was truly powerless."
At 19 you may not be at this level yet...but fast forward 25 years or less and the alcoholic disease progresses. At 19 I drank fairly heavy but never thought about cutting back or quiting! Hopfully your not an alcoholic or you just quit before you find out you are!
"I would go off the deep end in a binge lasting some number of days. These binges always reached absurd depths, large quantities of alcohol, round the clock drinking, blackouts, hurting myself, very dangerous behavior. Ultimately it was the total loss of control during these binges that convinced me I was truly powerless."
At 19 you may not be at this level yet...but fast forward 25 years or less and the alcoholic disease progresses. At 19 I drank fairly heavy but never thought about cutting back or quiting! Hopfully your not an alcoholic or you just quit before you find out you are!
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