Been having an up and down week
Been having an up and down week
but it's starting to look up. I found my home group this morning. I felt I belonged there the minute I walked into the room. I got a one week chip and I will carry it for the rest of my life.
The topic of discussion this morning was 'giving and receiving'. I gave something and got so much more. I felt very relieved.
I want to share something that's been bugging me for about a month. The seventies rock group Traffic have an album titled John Barleycorn. I have the CD. It's my favorite of their albums. Well all month that song has been going around in my head. All the time. It was driving me crazy, even tho I love the song, so I thought well maybe if I actually listen to it I'll stop hearing it all the time. So I put it on and put on my headphones and turned the volume to max. It was half way thru and I started bawling like a baby. Couldn't stop. I guess I had sort of a "Damascus" moment. I want to prove to little Sir John that he's NOT the strongest man at last.
And now the song has stopped playing round and round in my head.
The topic of discussion this morning was 'giving and receiving'. I gave something and got so much more. I felt very relieved.
I want to share something that's been bugging me for about a month. The seventies rock group Traffic have an album titled John Barleycorn. I have the CD. It's my favorite of their albums. Well all month that song has been going around in my head. All the time. It was driving me crazy, even tho I love the song, so I thought well maybe if I actually listen to it I'll stop hearing it all the time. So I put it on and put on my headphones and turned the volume to max. It was half way thru and I started bawling like a baby. Couldn't stop. I guess I had sort of a "Damascus" moment. I want to prove to little Sir John that he's NOT the strongest man at last.
And now the song has stopped playing round and round in my head.
(I think Chris Wood (Sax.) died of alcohol poisoning.) Least, you sound like you're thinking alot more clearly now. I"m so happy you're on your way now. Don't let anything deter you from forging ahead with your recovery and rebirth.
CindeRella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Spreading my wings
Posts: 7,163
The progress that you are showing is astounding! Congrats to you that you have found the open door that suits you!
Crying is cleansing which is a good thing!
Crying is cleansing which is a good thing!
side note: I looked up Chris Wood's bio and he died from pneumonia at the age of 39, which was brought about by his poor health which came from his alcohol and drug addictions. Dead at 39. What a shame.
Could also be that pneumonia was the cause of death listed but could have been more alcohol/drug related and someone didn't want it known. I'll never know.
Could also be that pneumonia was the cause of death listed but could have been more alcohol/drug related and someone didn't want it known. I'll never know.
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,061
I found my home group this morning. I felt I belonged there the minute I walked into the room. I got a one week chip and I will carry it for the rest of my life.
The topic of discussion this morning was 'giving and receiving'. I gave something and got so much more. I felt very relieved.
The topic of discussion this morning was 'giving and receiving'. I gave something and got so much more. I felt very relieved.
You go girl!
Friend, I hope in time you will read some of your old posts. Both so you will not go back there and you will recognize the seeds of relapse well in advance.
You sound wonderful...
warren
Friend, I hope in time you will read some of your old posts. Both so you will not go back there and you will recognize the seeds of relapse well in advance.
You sound wonderful...
warren
I know what you mean L - that song has a deeper resonance for me these days too. I'm so glad you're forging ahead We can be stronger!
D
An old timer pulled me aside and said "Son, you aren't gonna beat anything in that room, your ass has already been whipped".
This pissed me off, but when I thought about it, he was right. At that point, I gave up completely. I had to admit that I had gone toe-to-toe with John Barleycorn, and he kicked my butt. At that point, for the first time ever, I really truly took step 1.
Now, as the BB says, "I am no longer fighting anyone or anything, including alcohol".
I am not sure if I would be sober today without that old timer. I also never saw him again.
So please be careful, Least. Your quote may have been simply a choice of words I wouldn't use, but if you are really in the mindset of being "stronger" than booze or drugs or you see yourself "fighting" your addiction, I would like to urge you to revisit step 1.
Thank you for your post. You are correct. I am not stronger than alcohol and I have to remember that every day. I just don't want to hang out with little Sir John anymore, perhaps that is a more accurate way to put it. But you are right in what you say and your "oldtimer" was dead on accurate. My ass has already been kicked, but I'm no longer wanting to go where it can be kicked again.
Thank you all for your encouraging words. I'm starting to feel better. Next thing you know I'll find work! Please God, help me find work.
:praying
and yeah, the flute is awesome!
Thank you all for your encouraging words. I'm starting to feel better. Next thing you know I'll find work! Please God, help me find work.
:praying
and yeah, the flute is awesome!
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