least

but it's starting to look up. I found my home group this morning. I felt I belonged there the minute I walked into the room. I got a one week chip and I will carry it for the rest of my life.

The topic of discussion this morning was 'giving and receiving'. I gave something and got so much more. I felt very relieved.

I want to share something that's been bugging me for about a month. The seventies rock group Traffic have an album titled John Barleycorn. I have the CD. It's my favorite of their albums. Well all month that song has been going around in my head. All the time. It was driving me crazy, even tho I love the song, so I thought well maybe if I actually listen to it I'll stop hearing it all the time. So I put it on and put on my headphones and turned the volume to max. It was half way thru and I started bawling like a baby. Couldn't stop. I guess I had sort of a "Damascus" moment. I want to prove to little Sir John that he's NOT the strongest man at last.

And now the song has stopped playing round and round in my head.

Impurrfect

((((Least))))

I'm so glad you found a home group!!! Keep walking foward, sweetie, you're doing great!

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

Hevyn

(I think Chris Wood (Sax.) died of alcohol poisoning.) Least, you sound like you're thinking alot more clearly now. I"m so happy you're on your way now. Don't let anything deter you from forging ahead with your recovery and rebirth.

Aysha

Rella927

The progress that you are showing is astounding! Congrats to you that you have found the open door that suits you!

Crying is cleansing which is a good thing!

tennis71

Glad to hear from you and it is encouraging to see you moving forward!

least

side note: I looked up Chris Wood's bio and he died from pneumonia at the age of 39, which was brought about by his poor health which came from his alcohol and drug addictions. Dead at 39. What a shame.

Could also be that pneumonia was the cause of death listed but could have been more alcohol/drug related and someone didn't want it known. I'll never know.

Astro

Music to my ears! I'm happy for you least, keep going back!

stone

Hi Least, well done.

warrens

You go girl!

Friend, I hope in time you will read some of your old posts. Both so you will not go back there and you will recognize the seeds of relapse well in advance.

You sound wonderful...

warren

lostgirl89

Way to go Least!!! I've missed you...Hope all is well!!!
xoxo R

mle-sober

Great job! I'm so glad you are back and doing so well. I totally know the comfort of recognizing your home group.

tkdan

That is an awsome feeling, I'm glad you got to experience it. Keep up the good work.

Daddio

Hey Least. You just brought a tear to a big old man's eye. I'm happy for you.

Katecan

((((least))))

dave47

Glad things are going in the right direction for you Least,
best wishes.

Dee74

yeah the awesome flute playing on John Barleycorn is Chris Wood. He died aged only 39 after many years battling alcohol and other drugs. I've read a lot of rock biographies and the consensus of those who knew him is that alcohol was clearly the chief determining factor in his early death.

I know what you mean L - that song has a deeper resonance for me these days too. I'm so glad you're forging ahead We can be stronger!

D

Taking5

Yes he is stronger than you. John Barleycorn is stronger than all of us. I learned this the hard way. I "fought" my addiction and even announced in an AA meeting that I was there to "beat" my addiction.

An old timer pulled me aside and said "Son, you aren't gonna beat anything in that room, your ass has already been whipped".

This pissed me off, but when I thought about it, he was right. At that point, I gave up completely. I had to admit that I had gone toe-to-toe with John Barleycorn, and he kicked my butt. At that point, for the first time ever, I really truly took step 1.

Now, as the BB says, "I am no longer fighting anyone or anything, including alcohol".

I am not sure if I would be sober today without that old timer. I also never saw him again.

So please be careful, Least. Your quote may have been simply a choice of words I wouldn't use, but if you are really in the mindset of being "stronger" than booze or drugs or you see yourself "fighting" your addiction, I would like to urge you to revisit step 1.

least

Thank you for your post. You are correct. I am not stronger than alcohol and I have to remember that every day. I just don't want to hang out with little Sir John anymore, perhaps that is a more accurate way to put it. But you are right in what you say and your "oldtimer" was dead on accurate. My ass has already been kicked, but I'm no longer wanting to go where it can be kicked again.

Thank you all for your encouraging words. I'm starting to feel better. Next thing you know I'll find work! Please God, help me find work.

:praying

and yeah, the flute is awesome!

Dee74

indeed!

D