Is anything real?
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: To the North
Posts: 1,086
Is anything real?
First, thanks Cats for your words!
I don't really know what I'm looking for here. It's just been one of those nights and days. I think of what AH has said and have to wonder, why would he say or offer something that he can't follow through with? I didn't jump at his offer, said I'd believe it when I saw it, and the LOUD sobbing and crying downstairs started about 1/2 hour later. Then at 5:30 this morning he proceeds to stomp around downstairs and slam doors! I can tell you, that is not a fun way to wake up.
Why do they say idiotic things - like I'll give you a million dollars when they only have $2? Why do they feel it's their right to stomp around and wake people up and frighten them with loud noises? It is so childish and immature, and it still manages to catch me off guard and by surprise sometimes. I don't actually expect any different. It's just one of those days, I guess, where for whatever reason instead of knowing this is typical behavior and thinking, I'm sitting here thinking - WTF is he thinking (even tho somewhere I obviously know better)?
If I see him gaze adoringly at a door-jam again to "show" me how much he LOVES the house - Really, it will probably be about all I can do not do something. I don't know what, but it is just ... makes my teeth clench!
I guess I needed to vent. Thanks for listening!
I don't really know what I'm looking for here. It's just been one of those nights and days. I think of what AH has said and have to wonder, why would he say or offer something that he can't follow through with? I didn't jump at his offer, said I'd believe it when I saw it, and the LOUD sobbing and crying downstairs started about 1/2 hour later. Then at 5:30 this morning he proceeds to stomp around downstairs and slam doors! I can tell you, that is not a fun way to wake up.
Why do they say idiotic things - like I'll give you a million dollars when they only have $2? Why do they feel it's their right to stomp around and wake people up and frighten them with loud noises? It is so childish and immature, and it still manages to catch me off guard and by surprise sometimes. I don't actually expect any different. It's just one of those days, I guess, where for whatever reason instead of knowing this is typical behavior and thinking, I'm sitting here thinking - WTF is he thinking (even tho somewhere I obviously know better)?
If I see him gaze adoringly at a door-jam again to "show" me how much he LOVES the house - Really, it will probably be about all I can do not do something. I don't know what, but it is just ... makes my teeth clench!
I guess I needed to vent. Thanks for listening!
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
((codienewife))
that is tough to have those situations early in the morning - hate it when my mornings have started off that way too.
You say that it will probably be all I can do to not do something - my suggestion & what worked for me - was not using my energy to NOT do something, but to use my energy to DO something constructive for myself.
Like walk into another room, distance myself from them, leave the house, go take a walk in the park, do some gardening, straighten my closet, go to the library, rearrange my sock drawer, watch a movie, turn on the radio and dance/exercise my cares away - just anything that can take my mind off the things I wish I could make them understand.
I know in my head the A's in my life will probably never understand my perspective so talking to them while they are active in their disease is liking trying to have a conversation with a Pine Tree.
If I can ever get the Pine Tree to agree to do what I want it to do, then I know I'll be ready to get the alcoholic/addict to do what I want them to do.
Just gotta take care of ourselves and try to smile along the way.
Hope your evening is filled with peace and you are have to more calmness in your home than you woke up to this morning,
Rita
that is tough to have those situations early in the morning - hate it when my mornings have started off that way too.
You say that it will probably be all I can do to not do something - my suggestion & what worked for me - was not using my energy to NOT do something, but to use my energy to DO something constructive for myself.
Like walk into another room, distance myself from them, leave the house, go take a walk in the park, do some gardening, straighten my closet, go to the library, rearrange my sock drawer, watch a movie, turn on the radio and dance/exercise my cares away - just anything that can take my mind off the things I wish I could make them understand.
I know in my head the A's in my life will probably never understand my perspective so talking to them while they are active in their disease is liking trying to have a conversation with a Pine Tree.
If I can ever get the Pine Tree to agree to do what I want it to do, then I know I'll be ready to get the alcoholic/addict to do what I want them to do.
Just gotta take care of ourselves and try to smile along the way.
Hope your evening is filled with peace and you are have to more calmness in your home than you woke up to this morning,
Rita
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: To the North
Posts: 1,086
I like that - A Pine Tree - He is a pine tree! That might be easier on days like this than trying to remember I'm dealing with a disease and not the person.
Luckily I'm meeting old friends for din tonight, haven't seen one in almost 15 years and the other in about 12-13 years, so I am looking forward to that!
A pine tree - Thanks Japic!
Luckily I'm meeting old friends for din tonight, haven't seen one in almost 15 years and the other in about 12-13 years, so I am looking forward to that!
A pine tree - Thanks Japic!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 1,287
Wow! Great words of wisdom Japic05! And the pine tree thing too.....except I like pine trees (and don't always like my AH), so maybe I'll act like I'm talking to.....the toilet.
Codeinewife, its almost bedtime in California. Hope you had a great time with your friends and have a better day tommorrow.
Codeinewife, its almost bedtime in California. Hope you had a great time with your friends and have a better day tommorrow.
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: To the North
Posts: 1,086
Din with friends was PERFECT! so much catching up to do! A busy day at work too. All in all I ended up not obsessing today! I saw a funny thing on my way to do errands before I left for my dinner - AH riding around town in our open "fun" Jeep! I guess he was feeling better! AND, I got home at 9:30 - guess who's car's not here and is out for the night? Hmmmmm....
What was that Anvilhead? I think you got him pegged in three! That's exactly what it felt like last night and this morning - the Terrible Two's!
Thanks everyone, hopefully tomorrow will be a better day and I can get back to not wondering about the insanity! Maybe I can bring a few pine tree boughs home and make him hold them next time he tries to talk to me, I think the visual would be helpful!
:ghug2
What was that Anvilhead? I think you got him pegged in three! That's exactly what it felt like last night and this morning - the Terrible Two's!
Thanks everyone, hopefully tomorrow will be a better day and I can get back to not wondering about the insanity! Maybe I can bring a few pine tree boughs home and make him hold them next time he tries to talk to me, I think the visual would be helpful!
:ghug2
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I, too, love the pine tree analogy, Japic. And at least the pine tree doesn't move in my house and bring chaos with it. 
And I agree so much about taking a walk, going for coffee with a friend, doing something, ANYTHING, besides sitting in the front row seat watching and listening to the "performance".
Words are words, and only sincere words will be backed by "action". Personally, I let the actions speak for themself.
We don't have to be victims, and we learn to become survivors by taking care of ourselves...especially at times like this when the "drama" of their addiction is really getting on our nerves.
Hugs
And I agree so much about taking a walk, going for coffee with a friend, doing something, ANYTHING, besides sitting in the front row seat watching and listening to the "performance".
Words are words, and only sincere words will be backed by "action". Personally, I let the actions speak for themself.
We don't have to be victims, and we learn to become survivors by taking care of ourselves...especially at times like this when the "drama" of their addiction is really getting on our nerves.
Hugs
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