The last straw....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: BC Canada
Posts: 51
The last straw....
My hubbies AS has been calling again. She seems to be in terrible shape. She is 23, has lost her 2 kids, she has been living with a man in his 50's, is into crach and meth, has prostituted herself, and is now pregnant again.
She called us wanting help. She had arranged for treatment in a city about 500 kms away. She wanted a ride there, and as we are the closest relatives, we were willing to take her.
This was Tuesday. She called several times that day, confirming plans. My hubby called that eveningtoget her address and to decide on a time to pick her up, but she was "out." We got a text from her at 2:30am, saying that she was sorry she was out so late, and she didn't want to call, but she would be ready to go whenever we picked her up.
One last binge I figured.
So Wednesday morning, My husband called in extra employees to cover him, I called into my work, and said I would come until she called, and so I may leave early.
She never called.
She still hasn't.
If she would have called and said "hey, I'm just not ready to do this yet" we would have understood. But she didn't. She didn't have the decency to call, or text, or even get a friend to call. She is just one more ungrateful, selfish addict, and we don't need any more of those in our life.
We have finally decided that we will not have any more part of this. If she wants help, she will have to find someone else. My hubbies family puts a lot of pressure on us to "fix" this situation. We are the closest (geographically) to her, and due to the rest of the families addictions, we are viewed as the best off financially and emotionally as well. But we will never make her change, and I at times resent his family (especially his mom, who I feel should be sharing in the blame of this entire situation) for attempting to guilt us into saving her.
All I want to do is scream at her. I am so angry that we were duped again. But finally, we can let go. She got herself into this. She can get herself out.
She called us wanting help. She had arranged for treatment in a city about 500 kms away. She wanted a ride there, and as we are the closest relatives, we were willing to take her.
This was Tuesday. She called several times that day, confirming plans. My hubby called that eveningtoget her address and to decide on a time to pick her up, but she was "out." We got a text from her at 2:30am, saying that she was sorry she was out so late, and she didn't want to call, but she would be ready to go whenever we picked her up.
One last binge I figured.
So Wednesday morning, My husband called in extra employees to cover him, I called into my work, and said I would come until she called, and so I may leave early.
She never called.
She still hasn't.
If she would have called and said "hey, I'm just not ready to do this yet" we would have understood. But she didn't. She didn't have the decency to call, or text, or even get a friend to call. She is just one more ungrateful, selfish addict, and we don't need any more of those in our life.
We have finally decided that we will not have any more part of this. If she wants help, she will have to find someone else. My hubbies family puts a lot of pressure on us to "fix" this situation. We are the closest (geographically) to her, and due to the rest of the families addictions, we are viewed as the best off financially and emotionally as well. But we will never make her change, and I at times resent his family (especially his mom, who I feel should be sharing in the blame of this entire situation) for attempting to guilt us into saving her.
All I want to do is scream at her. I am so angry that we were duped again. But finally, we can let go. She got herself into this. She can get herself out.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Rub)))
Wow, you have had quite a lot to deal with, with the A's in your family!
I totally agree with letting her find her own way, if she decides to go for treatment again. When I was ready to quit crack and work at recovery, I did whatever I had to do. When we're using, we're very adept at getting what we want. If we choose recovery, we use those same skills for better things.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Wow, you have had quite a lot to deal with, with the A's in your family!
I totally agree with letting her find her own way, if she decides to go for treatment again. When I was ready to quit crack and work at recovery, I did whatever I had to do. When we're using, we're very adept at getting what we want. If we choose recovery, we use those same skills for better things.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
The Salvation Army programs are free and they'll get you there if you need transportation.
I'm sorry you went through all this, and sorrier that she's not ready. Sadly, many change their mind at the last minute and just can't seem to make it through the door.
She'll find help when she's ready. It was nice of you to offer to drive her but she blew it, so maybe next time she can find her own way.
Regardless of how this turned out, it was still nice of you to offer.
Hugs
I'm sorry you went through all this, and sorrier that she's not ready. Sadly, many change their mind at the last minute and just can't seem to make it through the door.
She'll find help when she's ready. It was nice of you to offer to drive her but she blew it, so maybe next time she can find her own way.
Regardless of how this turned out, it was still nice of you to offer.
Hugs
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