BrixtonBear

Hi,

I've reached day 4 (second time around), and not doing so well today. I haven't had a drink, but I keep seeing strange things. Whenever I close my eyes, I feel like I'm floating in a vast ocean, with hundreds of bottles of beer, all bobbing up and down, and whenever I reach out to touch one, it just floats away, out of my reach. And when I walk down the street, the passersby seem to me like great big bottles of beer, with arms and legs on. I just want to get these strange thoughts out of my head.

I need to get to another AA meeting, real fast. I thought I would be able to get by just going to one AA meeting a week, on Mondays. Now I realise I was a fool to think that.

Oh help.

CarolD

Wow! That sounds frightening.
Have you consulted your doctor?

BrixtonBear

Hi,

Thanks for your post. No, I haven't seen a doctor yet about my drinking problem. I've felt for a long time - over a year - that I should go and speak to a doctor about it, but somehow I just keep putting it off. I guess I'm just worried that they will give me pills that might have other side effects - I'm sure that's just me being over-anxious. I will try and make an appointment with my doctor, I promise I'll try!

PB

Jomey

Hi PB - I agree with Carol - that does sound scary! It isn't necessary to suffer through this period without the advice of a doctor.

I felt the same way you do - I started drinking (to some degree) to self medicate anxiety and I was nervous when I told the doctor that I was going to quit drinking that he would immediately suggest some anti-anxiety meds or the like. I was pleasantly surprised when he and I actually exchanged ideas about how we wanted my recovery to progress. He reminded me that I have a say in my own healthcare....just passing that reminder on to you. Not that we are to defy doctor's orders, but we can question and seek answers if we have a concern about what we are being prescribed.

Also, I was very nervous to tell my doctor how much I had been drinking. Guess what? He was not even remotely shocked - he said he had seen and heard A LOT worse, and he is still a fairly young man. So don't be worried about that aspect either. Just go and be honest.

I know it seems intimidating, but don't blow a doctor visit out of proportion. As my doctor said, to you, Jomey, coming here and telling me this is the biggest, most difficult part of your day. To me, if I am a good doctor and I am, I will concentrate on you and you alone for the time I am with you and then I will say goodbye and devote all my concentration to my next patient. And so on. I will not be thinking about it or judging you even five minutes from now. Somehow that seemed very comforting to me, and I hope it helps you as well.

Keep going!

warrens

PB

I would tend to regard those visions as just what they are-hallucinations. You seem to have enough rational thought to know what is happening and that they are short lived.

I do the same with nightmares. Frequent nightmares. I almost welcome them now. Mental floss. Housekeeping that needs to be done. They aren't real, but they have a real cause.

Meetings? Doctor? Of course. Makes sense. But use your head to realize what is going on. You've removed a constant source of candy from a child and the child is screaming. The child may know full well that the candy isn't good for him, but he doesn't care. I want my candy!

At six weeks it's easier to look at such from an emotional distance. At 4 days I think we simply have to accept that the only thing predictable about life is that it will be unpredictable.

Do what ever you have to do to get to two weeks. I would suspect at that time, such things will diminish. There's still much to deal with then, but the physical crazies are much less. Eat well, sleep well. Take one day at a time, but also know that every week will be better. Your body and mind has to relearn what this healthy stuff is all about.

Keep your eyes on the prize...

warren

BrixtonBear

Thank you so much Jomey and Warren, this is reassuring and encouraging. And it's good to know these crazy thoughts and feelings won't last forever!

PB

sailorjohn

I'm not an expert but it sounds like you're experiencing withdrawal, you might consider seeing a doctor if only for reassurance. The AA meetings, try 90/90. You'll hear a lot of AA axioms, hear them often enough and you can retrieve them when you need them most, those times when your brain tells you that you're okay, you can have that one little drink. Hang in there, it does get better. CONGRATULATIONS!

Tazman53

I really think a Dr. would be a good idea.

Just stick with today, this will pass, but I really think seeing a Dr. is still a good idea.

I was medically detoxed so was in lala land for a while with all the meds they were giving me, I experienced no hallucinations, but then again the meds made sure I didn't.

tennis71

Good job on the 2nd time around - don't give up!

Recovery is not an action it is a process and when you fall you just need to get right back up and try it again.

Good luck and keep moving forward!

GreatEscape

Hi PB - you welcomed me when I first came to the site this week - and I'm not even on Day One yet!! Anyway, I am sending you good vibes since you are already where I want to be!! 4 days is a real achievement and probably some of the most difficult days you will face. I'm sure you will be fine - from what I know, when alcohol leaves the body, everything else goes a bit hyper for a while. I'm a sufferer from anxiety myself (have been for about 5 years) so know how it is to feel a little unhinged at times. The hardest thing can be keeping a sense of reality and perspective. I don't know if it helps you but I use the "run towards danger" technique. So if I am having bad feelings or whatever, I mentally run towards them and challenge them. Sometimes I even shout at them (in private!) and tell them to get lost - and often, it works! But don't neglect a chat with the GP - it won't do any harm, and you have nothing to lose. Sometimes they can prescribe a short course of medication to see you through the worst and can keep an eye on you for the DTs!

Whatever...I'm sure that these things are short term for you and all part of getting fresh and renewed! As for me, I'm starting my own journey this weekend. Having been through it before, the worst thing for me is not being able to sleep.......but on the bright side, I will get to read a LOT of books in bed, and will be helping the cocoa makers.

Keep smiling...........

Astro

I've got a few years in the rooms and I still can't get by with one a week, and hope I never do! At the moment my kids have softball and baseball games every night so I've been missing a few meetings, but I attend whenever I can.

Seeing a Dr. would be a great idea. Please remember that detoxing on your own can be very risky.

LogCabin

Hang on and keep on truckin, babe!

I'm on day 6. I went to a meeting tonight and it was a good one. I felt so good to go out on a Friday night, not on a mission, but to do something good and positive.

I almost didn't go. I just wanted to stay here in my apartment and watch the tube and computer...but then I said to myself. You know Log...you would be out the door in a minute to go get some alcohol and drugs...and you should do the same right now. So I got myself up, in the shower and made it to a meeting. Best thing I could do.

I walked in the door and my dealers were calling... (Friday night and all I guess). But I erased thier numbers, and messages, and took the phone off the hook. And then I fixed myself a nice hot mug of hot chocolate WITH whipped cream.

Doctors see recovery people all the time. It is a big part of thier job. They like it when we pull it together. They see the down side of addiction all too much.

barb dwyer

hi log cabin - I don't remember seeing your first post - so welcome to SR!