onlyliveonce

I have been smoking crack for about 6-8months with my husband and it is truly a drug that will suck the life out of you in no time. We have not smoked in 11 days and physically I'm ok but the mental pull is overwhelming at times. I am very close to it at work and can even have it delivered but I can't go back down that road again. I can still taste in in my mouth and throat and that sucks.

I'm being careful about boasting cause as soon as I do I will fall back again, not wanting to jinx myself. If I had money I don't know which way i'd go at the moment. Just giving it to myself first!!

I always thought this is something that couldn't touch me and look at where I'm at. I just keep thinking about how terrible I felt the last time and I don't want to feel that way again ever. I just keep doing this thing day by day cause right now that's all I can do: day by day and so far today I have not used and don't plan to.

All suggestions and advice appreciated.:bounce

Aysha

All I can say is stop while you still have some life left to save.
Your time is short compared to where it can and will take you if you keep going.
IT GETS ALOT WORSE!
Great job on 11 days. Thats tough...especially if it is right near you.
Keep remembering how terrible it was. NOT how it tastes and stuff like that.
Anvil gave some perfect examples of distractions.
The thoughts do pass. Feels like forever. But ride em out.

onlyliveonce

Thanks Anvilhead for the encouragement!

I am just getting through each day and will face tomorrow when I get up in the morning. All I do know is that if I use today things will be the same if not worse tomorrow and I don't want that.

I do alot of reading so when I get home each day I've been trying to take a few quiet minutes to myself to reflect on the day and how I felt and how I got through it.

I'm not the kind of person you would look at and see a crack addict so i am very dissapointed in myself. I feel I am ready to start taking inventory of myself and get real honest with myself and where in my life I can make improvements. First one- don't smoke crack and everything else will be ok.

Impurrfect

another recovering crackhead joining in. Anvil had great ideas and she and Chiy are right....it gets worse...way worse. I was an RN who KNEW better, and still ended up on the streets. It literally sucks the life right out of you.

11 days is GREAT!!! Sometimes I couldn't imagine a whole day without crack, so I took it one hour at a time. I'd tell myself "it will still be there in an hour...but this hour I won't use"...when that hour was up, I'd repeat the process.

Recovery is possible...I just celebrated a year clean, and I was a die-hard addict. Keep posting and reading here...there are a lot of us who have been down the same road.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

Aysha

I just want to add to what anvil said about it being an equal opportunist.
I dont care where you came from or where you are or where you think your going.
If your smoking that evil ****..You WILL end up just like many of us did.
Right in the middle of skid row. Begging..borrowing and stealing..Selling your soul....
Not to eat or live..But to get high.
Please know that it will eventually take you there.