Mistress with a Diamond Ring--cont
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: "Somewhere in Ohio" ... little joke from past
Posts: 481
OMG! He used a credit card with both your names on it to buy her an engagement ring? Deep cleansing breaths, deep cleansing breaths. I am so, so sorry to hear this happened. Yellow Pages -- legal professionals. Prayers coming your way!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5,075
I would say unbelievable but I wouldn't mean it. I promise you that you will look back and laugh, but I know it doesn't help now; just tuck the thought somewhere.
What I say (with love of course) about AH when these things happen: what a goof.
Hang in there
What I say (with love of course) about AH when these things happen: what a goof.
Hang in there
Recovering Nicely
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 935
I agree w/hadenough - you really should call and have your name taken off and put in a fraud victim alert. I hate to pry, but are you two legally separated? There may be something in your separation agreement which he breached if he used a joint credit card. I really think you can legally hold him responsible. So sorry that you are going thru this.
I Finally Love My Life!!!
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: New England
Posts: 648
3 main credit bureaus to report ID Theft
* Experian 888-397-3742
* Equifax 800-525-6285
* TransUnion 800-680-7289
I had to go through this when people broke into my home and stole my laptop with personal info . If you call Experian, they contact Equifax and Transunion to flag your credit as well. You can even have them flag your credit so that any institution lending money has to call you first before giving it out (you give them the phone number you want them to call).
Sorry An'ka :comfort
* Experian 888-397-3742
* Equifax 800-525-6285
* TransUnion 800-680-7289
I had to go through this when people broke into my home and stole my laptop with personal info . If you call Experian, they contact Equifax and Transunion to flag your credit as well. You can even have them flag your credit so that any institution lending money has to call you first before giving it out (you give them the phone number you want them to call).
Sorry An'ka :comfort
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 4,290
It may not be that easy to get your name off a joint account. I had trouble with a few. A lot insist on the accoiunt being closed/paid off before they agree.
Sounds to me like it may be time to take some action to protect yourself financially.
Sounds to me like it may be time to take some action to protect yourself financially.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Anchorage, AK
Posts: 221
Oh, no, it is his personal account with Zales. AH does not have a residence in town, so he used my address when he originally opened that account. We were still together then, but of course, he never thought to call the store and change the address. Just another incidence of complete thoughtlessness that could, in this case, be construed as cruelty.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,579
Originally Posted by an'ka 
Oh, no, it is his personal account with Zales. AH does not have a residence in town, so he used my address when he originally opened that account. We were still together then, but of course, he never thought to call the store and change the address. Just another incidence of complete thoughtlessness that could, in this case, be construed as cruelty.
p.s. Can't help but ask........was it a "nice ring"? I'd be sure to let your lawyer know that he may not have "enough" money for his child's support,but he does seem to be able to have enough for a credit card and an ring.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 4,290
Originally Posted by an'ka
Oh, no, it is his personal account with Zales. AH does not have a residence in town, so he used my address when he originally opened that account. We were still together then, but of course, he never thought to call the store and change the address. Just another incidence of complete thoughtlessness that could, in this case, be construed as cruelty.
Well it could just be a case of him just being forgetful. I remember when my first husband and I were still in the process of divorce he bought his now second wife an emerald ring. I got a call at my place from the store telling me it was ready. Simply because he had forgotten to update his info with the store. Sometimes a mistake is jsut a mistake.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 477
Anka...sorry you had to get those statements. Sorry for being wrong. All I can think is that he must have been drunk when making the purchase. Keep the statements for your lawyer and know that you deserve MUCH better than a jerk like your ex!
ARL
ARL
Forum Leader
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
I have to admit, I laughed when I read your post. It was just so absurd!
It took me a LOOOOOOOOOONG time to understand that sometimes my ex was just being his dumb *ss self.He did a series of really stupid and inconsiderate things. My sponsor and counselor finally helped me get it... He wasn't doing it TO me, he was just doing it.
Hopefully you're in a better place and doing OK today.
Hugs
Cats
It took me a LOOOOOOOOOONG time to understand that sometimes my ex was just being his dumb *ss self.He did a series of really stupid and inconsiderate things. My sponsor and counselor finally helped me get it... He wasn't doing it TO me, he was just doing it.
Hopefully you're in a better place and doing OK today.
Hugs
Cats
Member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Buffalo NY
Posts: 105
an'ka, go back and read some of the responses to your original post! Count yourself lucky he has found a new sucker....err......misinformed girl!
I feel your pain in having to receive the bill for his bride-to-be's engagement ring. But think of the satisfaction that little bit of inside knowledge should be bringing to you?!?! He cant afford to buy it for her, he has to charge it! What about the three months salary rule from DeBeers Diamonds?:mock
I hope you hear me laughing along with you on this one! And whats he going to do with it when she figures out his MO, and gives it back to him? hahaha!
From a guys point of view, I believe he is trying to purposely fuKc with your head on this one. Dont give in to his satisfaction, okay? He snagged a youngin', and its not going to last worth a tinkers damn! Trust me on that one.
I feel your pain in having to receive the bill for his bride-to-be's engagement ring. But think of the satisfaction that little bit of inside knowledge should be bringing to you?!?! He cant afford to buy it for her, he has to charge it! What about the three months salary rule from DeBeers Diamonds?:mock
I hope you hear me laughing along with you on this one! And whats he going to do with it when she figures out his MO, and gives it back to him? hahaha!
From a guys point of view, I believe he is trying to purposely fuKc with your head on this one. Dont give in to his satisfaction, okay? He snagged a youngin', and its not going to last worth a tinkers damn! Trust me on that one.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: anomaly
Posts: 2,180
Okay....Please don't shoot me, I was that guy. it was a long time ago.
Becuase I've done that before when I was going through a divorce.
i was seriouly trying to f-her in the head. I could had just mail the check for the baby.
Or just drop off the check myself.
but...heck no...I had my live in gf ring the door bell as i set out in the
truck and wave at her. Then i would call her, then we would argue
and i would be totally wacked out of my mind. I loved her and hated her
all at the sametime. But she would trip...then I'll she see her driving up and
down the street.lol i knew it would make her jealouse,,i knew she had
jealouscy issues. and i would call her and we would argue for hours.
she would never hang up..thou.
I have my reasons..but I'm not going to get into that.
it's my dirty side of the street. i still wasn't convience my drinking
had a direct corrolation. i was offer treament before our duaghter
was born, but i thought i just had decipline problems
true..i did..but with alcohol in my system it was in a different league.
my motive was .."I'll show you"
that's why the girl show up with a ring
that's why the statment came to your door.
I lost duagther, even after I sober up i still havn't been to re unit with her.
i hurt my ex-wife so damn much, I'm amazed she forgiven me.
but obviouley she hasn't forgotten.
Becuase I've done that before when I was going through a divorce.
i was seriouly trying to f-her in the head. I could had just mail the check for the baby.
Or just drop off the check myself.
but...heck no...I had my live in gf ring the door bell as i set out in the
truck and wave at her. Then i would call her, then we would argue
and i would be totally wacked out of my mind. I loved her and hated her
all at the sametime. But she would trip...then I'll she see her driving up and
down the street.lol i knew it would make her jealouse,,i knew she had
jealouscy issues. and i would call her and we would argue for hours.
she would never hang up..thou.
I have my reasons..but I'm not going to get into that.
it's my dirty side of the street. i still wasn't convience my drinking
had a direct corrolation. i was offer treament before our duaghter
was born, but i thought i just had decipline problems
true..i did..but with alcohol in my system it was in a different league.
my motive was .."I'll show you"
that's why the girl show up with a ring
that's why the statment came to your door.
I lost duagther, even after I sober up i still havn't been to re unit with her.
i hurt my ex-wife so damn much, I'm amazed she forgiven me.
but obviouley she hasn't forgotten.
CindeRella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Spreading my wings
Posts: 7,163
An'ka :comfort: .....
Do you think it is time to go file those papers now? Hmmmmm
So sorry that you are going through this but, I do have to agree go look at your other thread and the posts and know that you are truly in a better place! And it only will get better from here!
As Pick said save a copy of that bill!
Do you think it is time to go file those papers now? Hmmmmm
So sorry that you are going through this but, I do have to agree go look at your other thread and the posts and know that you are truly in a better place! And it only will get better from here!
As Pick said save a copy of that bill!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: oh
Posts: 757
an'ka
(((so sorry your going through this dear.)))
i have to add my own episode of ring stupidity. my ex-fiance...he asked me to marry him exactly one month after meeting him. he HAD been engaged to another girl when i met him. he had her ring, TRADED it in to get me a ring twice as expensive as hers. this girl was calling my house crying. i was 22 at the time (reason for my naivety, general immaturity). HELLO BRIGHT RED FLAGS!!! i told him no the first time he asked me, but did say yes three months into the relationship -lol.
well, guess what? three years of my life later with him, he ended up stealing the ring out of my dresser watching me all in a panic looking for it. all the while he had taken my ring and put it on another young girl's finger. he married her exactly one month later!!! of course, they are now divorced-domestic violence-and two kids now in the mix
i don't know what happened to my ring after she was done with it, but i suspect it is being recycled again
so, i think your definitely getting the better deal here.
SATIT -thank you!!!
thank you for helping me see my ah in another light this sounds exactly like him. what great insight SATIT!!!
i have to add my own episode of ring stupidity. my ex-fiance...he asked me to marry him exactly one month after meeting him. he HAD been engaged to another girl when i met him. he had her ring, TRADED it in to get me a ring twice as expensive as hers. this girl was calling my house crying. i was 22 at the time (reason for my naivety, general immaturity). HELLO BRIGHT RED FLAGS!!! i told him no the first time he asked me, but did say yes three months into the relationship -lol.
well, guess what? three years of my life later with him, he ended up stealing the ring out of my dresser watching me all in a panic looking for it. all the while he had taken my ring and put it on another young girl's finger. he married her exactly one month later!!! of course, they are now divorced-domestic violence-and two kids now in the mix
i don't know what happened to my ring after she was done with it, but i suspect it is being recycled again so, i think your definitely getting the better deal here.
SATIT -thank you!!!
thank you for helping me see my ah in another light
this sounds exactly like him. what great insight SATIT!!!
Last edited by hopeangel; 11-20-2007 at 07:16 AM.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Anchorage, AK
Posts: 221
Thank you, all! Well, I thought long and hard about what to do with the statement. I'm not vindictive, couldn't be even if I tried, so I forwarded it to AH with the following note attached:
"This is a courtesy. Any new statements from Zales will be thrown out. I strongly suggest that in the future, you stop and THINK before you sign your wife's address at a jewelry store where you just purchased an engagement ring for your girlfriend. Basic human decency will never go out of style."
My divorce hearing is in an hour. I am ready to close the books on the last eleven years of my life. Sure is bittersweet.
"This is a courtesy. Any new statements from Zales will be thrown out. I strongly suggest that in the future, you stop and THINK before you sign your wife's address at a jewelry store where you just purchased an engagement ring for your girlfriend. Basic human decency will never go out of style."
My divorce hearing is in an hour. I am ready to close the books on the last eleven years of my life. Sure is bittersweet.
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