kermit

He never told me, I do not know how long he has been there, the weird thing is..I'm not bothered by it. Why? I feel nothing at this point, maybe it will hit me latter. All I keep thinking is I hope he is happy and that she is good for him and maybe there is some hope for him after all.
I have someone very interested in my house, but you all know the drill She has to sell her house too ect, I just felt I had to get that out.
Thanks, Kermit

Pick-a-name

Wow.......he get's around!! Especially for someone with no $.... Glad you are not hurting from this news.

Great about the house!!! Hope it all comes together for yoou very soon!

It's so nice to hear from you!

WantsOut

A nibble on the house is good - and my he's some romeo, ey? If she only knew what she was really getting lol

kermit

I'll say, he sure does get around Don't care much i think that the kids and I are doing well. They don't even ask about him anymore, so I don't. It has been a year since he moved out and it seem that we have moved on, to our own destination, the kids and I are in a good place with eachother that is all that matters to me. As soon as the house is sold and we are in our new place I think I will be able to relax, just knowing I don't need his income for us to survive us a awsome feeling. I got most of my strength here from you all and I appreciate all of you.

Mr. Christian

Hey how we doin?
Um, didn’t you just send him some $$ to get to his brother?

WantsOut

Good catch Mr. Christian. I remember that whole saga now. Kermit, what do you think of all that in light of how he's acting currently? I remember you really felt like he was going to die if you didn't help him even though you were broke, and now he's like chillin with this chicklette. Whatsup wit that?

mallowcup

I was very unpopular back then. He was in Colorado with a woman and hadn't sent any support, the kids were missing him and he called for money to get to his brothers in Arizona.
I thought he went to his brothers, but ow he is in North Dakota with the same woman or another one.
Wishing him happiness is really big of you but there's been a hig price paid for it.

denny57

Good for you, kermie

I'm not bothered by any of it either now. Moving on with life does that - no matter what route we take.

Hope the house sells soon.

((()))

LaTeeDa

Many, if not most of us, have paid a very high price for loving an alcoholic. Some of us are still paying in the form of consequences for OUR actions. (count me in that group)

Kermie, I think is wonderful that you have come to a place of forgiveness and peace. And I admire the positive steps you are taking in your life. My fingers are crossed that your house sells soon and for much!

L

kermit

Mello, first off he was NOT in Colorado with a girl. He was with friends. The woman he fell in love with from the internet is from North Dekota, I knew he would end up there one day. I have talked with her and she is a very nice person to me, I have no problem with him moving on with his life and as I said when I sent him to Az with his brother I knew it was most likely the wrong thing to do, I did it anyway.My choice. The last year has been crappy no question, but i have grown allot in my recovery, thanks to many of you here. I have come to realize that it is "the dream" I was so upset over not the"man"
I'm happy right now, I have so much more. The kids and I have become a better Unit now that he is gone. We love, play, fight and need eachother more then ever, this has been one of the best things that has ever happened to me, If I was still with him I would be just a shell of the woman I am now.
I have grown and learned much this year. What I have learned the most is the only person I can count on is me, and I'm a pretty good person to depend on. I have been thru far to much to give up on me now.
Oh, and Mr C I did not send $$ i bought the ticket and left it up to him to claim it

mallowcup

It wasn't an accusation, it was a wish. I hope you stop funding his life, his moving on. You're nice, she's nice and now he's being nice. Everyone is nice. That's nice.
No one has been a bigger fool than me, understand that any of my posts be prefaced with that.
I guess I just don't understand the moxy of either of them calling you for anything.

WantsOut

Hey we were ready to go kick his butt for you.

Mr. Christian

Same thing really.

Sunflower

you go girl!!!!

FormerDoormat

Kermie, you don't have to defend your actions or choices. You did what you felt was right at the time. If it turned out to be a mistake then so be it. You learned from it and moved on in a healthy new direction. I hope your house sells soon so you can start a new life. I love having a house of my own and a life free from the effects of alcoholism.

mazey

Kermit, I am too tired to write much, but glad to hear you are good. You're family unit will remain tight and the bonds you have developed will always be very unique and special.

kermit

tell it like it is Mello and Mr.C!
The important thing here is I have learned my lesson right? I have no strength to be mad I just don't. I'm tired of trying to figure out "what" I'm supposed to do. I just want peace. and if I'm nice and good then I'm oaky with that. My HP just wants me to be a good person to all and that is what I will do.So I bailed him out once! Big deal, I'm much healthyer from my "mistakes"
I like me these days!

denny57

Worth any price!

embraced2000

morning kermie....how's it going today?

wow....well, for me it felt pretty bad knowing my x had a new woman....no matter what kind of spin i tried to put on it in my mind.

it's like we never really have any sane closure with the active alcoholic....it's all left up to us to make our own closure. another example of how the alcoholic just dumps everything in our lap and we're left to cope the best way we can. that turned out to be a bittersweet gift, for me.

i'm sorry that you, too, have been affected by all antics of the active alcoholic. it hurts, and i know it hurts.....even after we are well into recovery.

thank the powers that be that your children have you as their momma....it sounds like you have done a tremendous job of being the kind of mom they need. god must have put them in your care because he knew they would need your strength.

i hope your house sells soon, spring hurries and gets here, and we all can have a chocolate covered cherry....or two.

love to you and the kiddos
jeri

Mr. Christian

From the very start of the break up and al through the drama that my wife had given herself, I never gave anything toward her trip to the bottom.
Yes I had spoke with her and in the beginning I could never get why she did what she did and really can’t believe that she is living the way she is now.


I guess it is because I embraced a view thing things right off the bat with the program when this all started. You see I did get a sponsor right away which helped, do you have one ???

I think getting one might help you out.

I new by enabling her it would not only prolong her from hitting a bottom if you will but I could even help KILL her.
Sounds very harsh but it’s the truth.

It has nothing to do with being a nice person, or doing the right thing and believe me I’ve heard just about every excuse out there for being a codependent enabler.

I want to share a couple of questions my sponsor would ask me when I discussed doing things regarding my ex:

1. What is motive for doing this?
2. How has that been working for you?


Yes we all learn from mistakes, but hindsight is always 20/20.
I found very early in the program that the best knowledge came from those who have been there.

I surrounded myself with these people. I hated them at 1st I truly did. I thought, “They just don’t get it”
“She is different”

HAHAHAHAHA!
Wow was I stupid! I let love and my own twisted outlook keep me in the dark for so very long.
I came into my own and there are days I fall, but I never go back to that person who was a 1st class sucker.
I was you know those last 4 years of being with her.

It’s funny I remember talking to her a couple years ago and she said.

“ How come you never help me out”
Can you believe that? She runs off with one of her ex husbands and she is even getting $$ from a 2nd ex husband and she wants more from me!


No Kermit, no one is saying BAD FROG for being conned out of cash I think we are just saying , “Hey have you had enough?”