it's getting easier
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
it's getting easier
xah called this morning, first time in quite a while....and said the usual things...only with a slight twist....just wanted to see how i was doing, "i'm only with her because i can't be with you", "i'm with her because she WANTS to be with me.....you don't"
for the first time, i felt compassion without heartache. all i did was answer the company phone, identified the company, and he said all of this without taking a breath.....i responded with....i love you, and i wish you the best, goodbye, and take care.
this is a new experience for me....feeling compassion with respect, feeling compassion without feeling the need to rescue and fix, feeling compassion without hurting.
and no anger.
got a little jittery feeling, and squeezy feeling in my throat, but nothing overwhelming.
so, for this minute, all is well. like i've always said...it's a good thing the serenity prayer cannot be wore out or used up.
for the first time, i felt compassion without heartache. all i did was answer the company phone, identified the company, and he said all of this without taking a breath.....i responded with....i love you, and i wish you the best, goodbye, and take care.
this is a new experience for me....feeling compassion with respect, feeling compassion without feeling the need to rescue and fix, feeling compassion without hurting.
and no anger.
got a little jittery feeling, and squeezy feeling in my throat, but nothing overwhelming.
so, for this minute, all is well. like i've always said...it's a good thing the serenity prayer cannot be wore out or used up.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
no, i never thought i would ever, ever get this far....i was in so much hurt for so long. hurt became a way of being for me. i loved him so much and just couldn't "get it"....meaning, i could not accept and surrender to how things really, really were.
i still love him, however, i feel as if now, maybe...just maybe there is some light at the end of the tunnel, and the love i feel for him can just be tucked away.
and of course, always sending up prayers for him and all the other ones still lost out there.
i still love him, however, i feel as if now, maybe...just maybe there is some light at the end of the tunnel, and the love i feel for him can just be tucked away.
and of course, always sending up prayers for him and all the other ones still lost out there.
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: FL
Posts: 14,246
compassion without heartache
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