CatsTail

Whether somebody is screaming the B word at you or a group of females don't you think it's unacceptable?


Cat

sketscher

uh YES!

Screaming anything in anger at anyone in front of others is unacceptable.

Mr. Christian

Why are you asking?

CatsTail

Hi Sketscher,
Sorry I'll clarify it wasn't in front of others is was to me on the phone and it was in reference to women in the Alanon program.

Ngaire

CatsTail

Oh Mr. C,

I'm having a dreadful day with this. I'm immersed in the F.O.G, Fear, Obligation and Guilt.

He calle dback after he said that and left a message saying he wasn't calling me that trying to twist it again. But that will throw me right off balance so I end up questioning myself.

Cat

Mr. Christian

Ah,
well I've met a few inside and outside the program that could wear that name plate.


I mean have you not met any?

CatsTail

You mean the B...... word?

embraced2000

cat.....if it's unnacceptable to you, then it's unnacceptable.

it would be unnacceptable for me, too. this behavior is not your responsiblity, he owns it.....you do not.

Cecilia

Tell him like I tell Elvis. What he thinks doesnt matter. It doesnt matter if HE thinks I should be one way or the other. If it upsets me then he should stop doing it because it upets me. If you care for someone then you dont intentionally do things that upset them. End of story.

CatsTail

He'd like me to think I'm over-reacting to the B#$^H word. But when a guy uses that word it makes me really uneasy.

Ngaire

sketscher

oh my. Last night I was told that I was overreacting about his comment to me.

I think you're in the same situation. No matter what our feelings or opinions on unacceptable behavior are they are going to be dismissed.

ICU

Babe
In
Total
Control of
Herself.......

When I think of it that way, I don't have a problem!

But when it's meant the other way, which I'm sure is the case here, well, then it's just not acceptable!

Nuudawn

Cat,
I'm assuming your question is rhetorical and that you indeed know the answer. Unfortunately, people can say what they please...and in saying things like that dude is letting you and anyone in earshot he is dealing in fear, insecurity and anger. Not a pretty place to be for any of us.

prodigal

I don't consider the b-word or the c-word (among others) acceptable. I suppose I'm a little confused as to why you need to know if this word is acceptable or not. It all boils down to whether you find it acceptable or not. I wouldn't entertain any further "discussions" with him as to the acceptability of cursing. You are trying to talk to a nut who is irrational.

I steer clear of potty-mouths. My AH has not called me any names in a long time. Funny, the less I bothered listening to him and the more I detached, the less he swore. I think he figured he could no longer grab my attention ...

TexasGirl

Well, I use the "b-word" casually, like, "Oh, he was just b****ing about something," but I sure don't like to be called that, and I don't go around calling people that. AH used to tell me to "you're being a b***h." I hated that. When I would tell him not to call me that, he'd say, I didn't call you one, I said you were acting like one. OK, whatever. In fact, his language toward me was one of the things that pushed me to leaving. I got stupid fu***ng c**t, worthless piece of s**t, f***ing b***h, all kinds of pleasantries. Geez, just reading that makes me almost feel sick. He also used the f-word like any other adjective. It was annoying.
Long story longer, Ngaire, it's not OK if you think it's not OK.

denny57

ah, the terms of endearment. I heard all those, too, TG, except mine had "fat" thrown in somewhere in there. The good days, eh?

deax

There's your answer.

It's a total individual thing. Cursing in general doesn't bother me at all (unless of course it's directed AT me, which is a different story). But I curse like a truck driver myself, I should try and cut down on that but it's not something I'm sensitive to. It's part of where you grew up, your own culture, etc. So it doesn't matter who says it's acceptable or who says it isn't. Because imo, him calling the Al Anon group the B-word is no different than if he called them 'idiots' or something- the sentiment is the same, he just essentially has a problem with and is intimidated by the ideology of the program (surprise surprise). That's the real agenda with his comment.

YOU don't like it and you don't find it acceptable. That's all that matters. Not what any of us think.

embraced2000

so much for the "good ole days"........bllleeeeccchhhhh!!!!!!!!

no more. never again. never, ever again.

I'mready99

I always thought when people call someone words like that. Its just utterings coming from a small mind...

One day at a time.

Steve

CatsTail

I'm asking because I'm fearing he is right and I over-react to the B!!!!!!! word.