I dont trust the people who may want to help me
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Join Date: Oct 2003
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Posts: 1,636
I dont trust the people who may want to help me
i do not know how to explain it, but i had this great therapist then she stopped being a therapist. so i felt betrayed sort of. rug pulled out from under me. then i started feeling that i didnt want another one because i just dont trust em.
then i got another one and she was always talking about herself so i left her after not feeling comfortable interrupting her to talk about my problems. and its all the therapist above mentioned's fault! she refferred me to this nut case.
then i get all excited because i get to go back to this psychologist i saw years ago. so, i go see her for one visit after my insurance authorizes me to go for 6 visits. i had a good session, i was very excited. we got a lot out on the table and i felt secure that i would not have to switch AGAIN. actually the thought never crossed my mind. then she drops the bomb and says she actually doesnt take my insurance so if i want to see her i have to pay a crap load of money. i dont think any of the above mentioned therapists or the psychologist cared to help me. of course they run a business, but geez.
in the mean time i was so not looking for a psychologist or a therapist. then my parents said they would find one for me. but of course they just dilly dally around for months and so i just draw back even further into my untrusting hole.
now after certain circumstances i get to have the pleasure of probably getting the rug pulled out from under me AGAIN. only this time i expect it. this makes getting help very difficult because it takes a loooooooong time for me to open up and feel comfortable talking to someone. im sure its got to do with the fact that im adopted and the ptsd and yada yada yada. blah.
then i got another one and she was always talking about herself so i left her after not feeling comfortable interrupting her to talk about my problems. and its all the therapist above mentioned's fault! she refferred me to this nut case.
then i get all excited because i get to go back to this psychologist i saw years ago. so, i go see her for one visit after my insurance authorizes me to go for 6 visits. i had a good session, i was very excited. we got a lot out on the table and i felt secure that i would not have to switch AGAIN. actually the thought never crossed my mind. then she drops the bomb and says she actually doesnt take my insurance so if i want to see her i have to pay a crap load of money. i dont think any of the above mentioned therapists or the psychologist cared to help me. of course they run a business, but geez.
in the mean time i was so not looking for a psychologist or a therapist. then my parents said they would find one for me. but of course they just dilly dally around for months and so i just draw back even further into my untrusting hole.
now after certain circumstances i get to have the pleasure of probably getting the rug pulled out from under me AGAIN. only this time i expect it. this makes getting help very difficult because it takes a loooooooong time for me to open up and feel comfortable talking to someone. im sure its got to do with the fact that im adopted and the ptsd and yada yada yada. blah.
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
Dot talk to me. I won't charge you so much *LOL*
One thing about finding a good church... the pastor wants to help (if he is a good pastor) and he doesn't charge for visits. A good pastor would have some education in the areas of psychology to help most people as well.
One thing about finding a good church... the pastor wants to help (if he is a good pastor) and he doesn't charge for visits. A good pastor would have some education in the areas of psychology to help most people as well.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
Boy oh boy. Lordy I hate going to a new doctor. and yeah, some of them aren't worth a damn and you pour your story out when you are all ready tired of it but you have to do it to satisfy them and then they are no real help. I hate it.
I am alot older than you dear, but I have been in and out of therapy for years. I need to see them for the medications I require but I have got to the point of being really blunt.
As in, I am not going to talk to you about my childhood, I am not going to talk to you about the divorce and custody nightmares I have been thro', I am not going to discuss the abuse, I have all ready done that thoroughly with another counselor and received the help I needed. I am not going to talk about my son's suicide. I am here because....
Then they either believe and trust me and work with me. Or I write them off. and do it again until I find the person I need.
Sounds belligerent eh? I don't care. Some things I will not put myself through.
I am alot older than you dear, but I have been in and out of therapy for years. I need to see them for the medications I require but I have got to the point of being really blunt.
As in, I am not going to talk to you about my childhood, I am not going to talk to you about the divorce and custody nightmares I have been thro', I am not going to discuss the abuse, I have all ready done that thoroughly with another counselor and received the help I needed. I am not going to talk about my son's suicide. I am here because....
Then they either believe and trust me and work with me. Or I write them off. and do it again until I find the person I need.
Sounds belligerent eh? I don't care. Some things I will not put myself through.
the girl can't help it
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,599
Dot-
I like what liveweyered said. Also I lliked Best advice. But sometimes a only friend can go with you where no therapist or other professional can go. My Friend has helped me more than I can say and He is your Friend too...... There is one Friend and I think you know who He is and you really can tell Him everything and He will lead you into all truth.
You are still so young but, in many ways you are so far ahead. There is time for you to figure this stuff out. Things don't have to be perfect just keep on walking. If you look back to where you were last year at this time you will see that you have travel far but, it is really just the beginning. Maybe God has a hand in your theraputic journey and His plan is working you just don't see quite all the picture yet. Enjoy the trip sweet one enjoy!!!
I like what liveweyered said. Also I lliked Best advice. But sometimes a only friend can go with you where no therapist or other professional can go. My Friend has helped me more than I can say and He is your Friend too...... There is one Friend and I think you know who He is and you really can tell Him everything and He will lead you into all truth.
You are still so young but, in many ways you are so far ahead. There is time for you to figure this stuff out. Things don't have to be perfect just keep on walking. If you look back to where you were last year at this time you will see that you have travel far but, it is really just the beginning. Maybe God has a hand in your theraputic journey and His plan is working you just don't see quite all the picture yet. Enjoy the trip sweet one enjoy!!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: laughing at my avatar
Posts: 1,636
sandy,
thank you. i am discouraged by this. i hope my psychologist now doesnt do the same thing. so far it is going good, but darned if its not all downhill. if that made any sense. i will rock on though.
best,
you are too kind, thanks. i feel the same way about my pastor. when i have spoken with him, he has been kind and he listened to me for the short while i spoke with him. and then i saw him again and he didnt remember my name. i felt slammed. however, i could find a random pastor and that way i would not feel slammed if he didnt remember my name. and, hopefully he would be free.
boop,
thank you for the encouragement! i will try harder to be more positive. its all how i look at it right?
live,
isnt it a b**** sometimes?! man. thats great that you are able to be so assertive and skip all the bull. i had gone into some of my issues with my very first one, but i really havent done the work i need to do. and i know i have to do it but i just dont want another let down. im not sure thats realistic, but oh well. its not that i dont have the sticking power, but i feel betrayed sort of. it was the same with my dad since he wasnt around and always working. its been almost two years of my clean time and we are FINALLY doing a little hanging out without ripping eachother apart or without me just giving up and walking off. the thing about him though is that hes not going anywhere. and those therapists and psychologists just blah. i guess i need structure?
splen,
you are so right! i have not been praying much lately and i should. i do feel better when i pray.
thanks guys and keep rocking!
hugs,
dot
thank you. i am discouraged by this. i hope my psychologist now doesnt do the same thing. so far it is going good, but darned if its not all downhill. if that made any sense. i will rock on though.
best,
you are too kind, thanks. i feel the same way about my pastor. when i have spoken with him, he has been kind and he listened to me for the short while i spoke with him. and then i saw him again and he didnt remember my name. i felt slammed. however, i could find a random pastor and that way i would not feel slammed if he didnt remember my name. and, hopefully he would be free.
boop,
thank you for the encouragement! i will try harder to be more positive. its all how i look at it right?
live,
isnt it a b**** sometimes?! man. thats great that you are able to be so assertive and skip all the bull. i had gone into some of my issues with my very first one, but i really havent done the work i need to do. and i know i have to do it but i just dont want another let down. im not sure thats realistic, but oh well. its not that i dont have the sticking power, but i feel betrayed sort of. it was the same with my dad since he wasnt around and always working. its been almost two years of my clean time and we are FINALLY doing a little hanging out without ripping eachother apart or without me just giving up and walking off. the thing about him though is that hes not going anywhere. and those therapists and psychologists just blah. i guess i need structure?
splen,
you are so right! i have not been praying much lately and i should. i do feel better when i pray.
thanks guys and keep rocking!
hugs,
dot
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
you need and want the therapy...you deserve it...but all you can do is tell them what you need, and if they can't do the job then find one who can.
I got some of my best help at a free domestic violence clinic. They cover a lot more than it sounds, and I think they would call some of what you have been through as abuse and would work with you. If they can't do their job, that is their failure, nothing personal about it.
Dude didn't just forget YOUR name because it was you, he forgets alot of names.
I got some of my best help at a free domestic violence clinic. They cover a lot more than it sounds, and I think they would call some of what you have been through as abuse and would work with you. If they can't do their job, that is their failure, nothing personal about it.
Dude didn't just forget YOUR name because it was you, he forgets alot of names.
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Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: laughing at my avatar
Posts: 1,636
live,
yes ive been meaning to go there and get some of their help. your right, getting there isnt the problem, its wanting it. sometimes i feel when i tell them what i need they look at me and say "well, she got adopted to a good family so now she doesnt have any problems or need our help." i feel that way because in school, the kids would say, "well you shouldnt have any problems because you got adopted. you should thank your lucky stars." and in general im probably in denial. i guess i have just dealt with things as they come because i wanted to avoid hearing people say how i should be thankful. then i started to believe what they say. they meaning the people who said that stuff as i was growing up.
my psychologist now is cool. but, will i open up and come out of my lonely hole? i dont know and dont care. i havent given up all hope so thats good. but i dont feel like i am taken seriously even though i probably am. and when i am taken seriously i want to go back to my lonely hole. i guess i should focus more on getting help from them for me than why they charge so darn much and why they forget my name. haha, yeah im sure the dude forgets a lot of names. dude is a cool word. i like it.
you rock!
hugs,
dot
yes ive been meaning to go there and get some of their help. your right, getting there isnt the problem, its wanting it. sometimes i feel when i tell them what i need they look at me and say "well, she got adopted to a good family so now she doesnt have any problems or need our help." i feel that way because in school, the kids would say, "well you shouldnt have any problems because you got adopted. you should thank your lucky stars." and in general im probably in denial. i guess i have just dealt with things as they come because i wanted to avoid hearing people say how i should be thankful. then i started to believe what they say. they meaning the people who said that stuff as i was growing up.
my psychologist now is cool. but, will i open up and come out of my lonely hole? i dont know and dont care. i havent given up all hope so thats good. but i dont feel like i am taken seriously even though i probably am. and when i am taken seriously i want to go back to my lonely hole. i guess i should focus more on getting help from them for me than why they charge so darn much and why they forget my name. haha, yeah im sure the dude forgets a lot of names. dude is a cool word. i like it.
you rock!
hugs,
dot
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
I've got a saying for people who say stupid things.........like well, aren't you just the luckiest........how the he!! would they know??? huh? really? It's their ignorance speaking, so they don't know. But I can't tell ya my saying, it isn't allowed here.
evil grin!
evil grin!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Washington
Posts: 33
They just were not for you... God is leading you to someone bigger and better who won't let you down. You know the saying: "You have to kiss (so to speak) a lot of todes before you find your prince or princess!" I happened to find a prince for a T and I am so greatful I went down the hard road till I got to who God had waiting for me, He has helped me so much that I feel truely blessed to have gotten him. Hang in there it will happen and you will end up greatful and blessed too! You will find the right person to help you. Love to you, Annie
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: N.Y. N.Y
Posts: 101
To Dotcom,
I can relate to what you are saying about the trust issue. I have been betrayed by people I thought I could trust as well.
What acually works for me is the support of AA. I have found that I can go to any AA meeting and dump my issues out on the table and get good positive feedback that I need. I don't necessarily have to get close to these people(thats why this organization is anonynmous).
There is help available out there, you just have to look for it. Don;t give up and try not to get discouraged. Remember these therapists are human too, they also have problems.
Good luck and I think you are finding a lot of the help you need right here!
I can relate to what you are saying about the trust issue. I have been betrayed by people I thought I could trust as well.
What acually works for me is the support of AA. I have found that I can go to any AA meeting and dump my issues out on the table and get good positive feedback that I need. I don't necessarily have to get close to these people(thats why this organization is anonynmous).
There is help available out there, you just have to look for it. Don;t give up and try not to get discouraged. Remember these therapists are human too, they also have problems.
Good luck and I think you are finding a lot of the help you need right here!
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Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: laughing at my avatar
Posts: 1,636
live,
haha, i can only imagine your saying ...
annie,
that is awesome that you found a good therapist. i hope the one i have now will work out, and i hope i can stick with her.
tom,
yes, i am tired of being betrayed. most of it i blow out of proportion now but it still hurts. and it is frustrating. i am sure i will find more resources to help me, its just a matter of finding them and not giving up hope before good things happen. i have been feeling discouraged, i have to keep some faithe and keep my head up! thank you for your post.
keep rocking,
dot
haha, i can only imagine your saying ...
annie,
that is awesome that you found a good therapist. i hope the one i have now will work out, and i hope i can stick with her.
tom,
yes, i am tired of being betrayed. most of it i blow out of proportion now but it still hurts. and it is frustrating. i am sure i will find more resources to help me, its just a matter of finding them and not giving up hope before good things happen. i have been feeling discouraged, i have to keep some faithe and keep my head up! thank you for your post.
keep rocking,
dot
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