I Feel So Alone
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: SYDNEY NSW
Posts: 156
I Feel So Alone
I have relapsed. 21st day.
I am so tired. I really wonder if it's worth perservering. Not alcohol, but life.
I love my partner so much...but he can't help me. Nor can my parents.
Wandering why I lead the ones I love into the abyss of heartbeak and pain.
So tired of dissapointing others in my life. So tired of dissapointing myself.
I don't know that I can do it anymore. I seem to be addicted to self-destruction.
HELP ME PLEASE!!!
I just wish that I could
I am so tired. I really wonder if it's worth perservering. Not alcohol, but life.
I love my partner so much...but he can't help me. Nor can my parents.
Wandering why I lead the ones I love into the abyss of heartbeak and pain.
So tired of dissapointing others in my life. So tired of dissapointing myself.
I don't know that I can do it anymore. I seem to be addicted to self-destruction.
HELP ME PLEASE!!!
I just wish that I could
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
Your not alone.
You can do it and it is worth the effort.
Meetings with AA will give you support. You will find others there who understand because they have gone through the same.
Look at how far you came already...21 days.
Even though I may have a few years behind me, I still stay sober one day at a time. Just for today, you can do it. When tomorrow gets here, we will deal with tomorrow at that point in time.
Live for today.
You can do it and it is worth the effort.
Meetings with AA will give you support. You will find others there who understand because they have gone through the same.
Look at how far you came already...21 days.
Even though I may have a few years behind me, I still stay sober one day at a time. Just for today, you can do it. When tomorrow gets here, we will deal with tomorrow at that point in time.
Live for today.
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Chicago Illinois
Posts: 65
Hi Trish,
First of all, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Look at how many of us are here and understand what you go through on a daily basis...
>>
You can. Believe me, If this hopeless alcoholic can get sober, so can you! DONT GIVE UP!
First of all, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Look at how many of us are here and understand what you go through on a daily basis...
Originally Posted by TRISH1011
I have relapsed. 21st day. >>
That's ok. Relapse can be part of the processing of getting sober. Its what you do from this point forward that really matters. Do you get back to sobriety or back to the path of Hell? The answer of course is sobriety. I relapsed at day 34. This time around, today is day 73. I NEVER thought that possible. I used to relapse at day 4 or 5. Now, I have 73 days sobriety, I never thought it possible. If I can do it, you can.
I love my partner so much...but he can't help me. Nor can my parents.>>
The only one who can help you IS YOU and the help of other Alcoholics. Do you have a circle of support around you? That's a must. Find others who are struggling and help you stay sober. I don't go to places where alcohol is served. Alcohol used to occupy my time; now I fill it with exercise, belonging to a book club, meditation...etc..
I just wish that I could
That's ok. Relapse can be part of the processing of getting sober. Its what you do from this point forward that really matters. Do you get back to sobriety or back to the path of Hell? The answer of course is sobriety. I relapsed at day 34. This time around, today is day 73. I NEVER thought that possible. I used to relapse at day 4 or 5. Now, I have 73 days sobriety, I never thought it possible. If I can do it, you can.
I love my partner so much...but he can't help me. Nor can my parents.>>
The only one who can help you IS YOU and the help of other Alcoholics. Do you have a circle of support around you? That's a must. Find others who are struggling and help you stay sober. I don't go to places where alcohol is served. Alcohol used to occupy my time; now I fill it with exercise, belonging to a book club, meditation...etc..
I just wish that I could
You can. Believe me, If this hopeless alcoholic can get sober, so can you! DONT GIVE UP!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: London
Posts: 1,229
Look Trish, I was beyond self destructive. My fingers were yellow with nicotine, I was fat, I was ruthless, I was a leech, I begged, stole, borrowed, I took as many drugs as I could get my hands on, I swore at people, smashed things, ruined evenings, became suicidal, done pis s in a glasses because I couldnt be bothered going to the toilet I was so out of it, I threw up, I gave up, I was stuck up, idiotic, meloncholic, and over all nightmare.
None of that **** happens anymore. You failed? Most people on this board kept failing before they got sober. I wish I knew the answer for you. Its your life we are talking about here....not mine.
AA or any other recovery programe will help you - thats what they are designed to do. You dont have to make this impossible for yourself...
None of that **** happens anymore. You failed? Most people on this board kept failing before they got sober. I wish I knew the answer for you. Its your life we are talking about here....not mine.
AA or any other recovery programe will help you - thats what they are designed to do. You dont have to make this impossible for yourself...
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
It happens to us all. I found that yesterday can't be changed so I take the lessons I learned from yesterday and use them today...Today I can change this moment by my choices.
Leave yesterday where it belongs and see what can be done today.
Leave yesterday where it belongs and see what can be done today.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Brownsburg Indiana
Posts: 63
Trish you’re not alone.
We’re here for you, on good or bad days, we are here. And yes it’s worth persevering. You have one chance here on Earth as Trish and there will be good days as well as bad. Ups and downs, that’s life. We never know what a new day will bring. You fell, we all can and possibly will, see we all have something to battle day by day. It’s good you’ve come to friends when you are low. Stand tall and smile you are apart of the human race and we are known for mistakes. I at times feel so alone and turning to friends like SR is the right dicision, smart move!
_________
Beck
We’re here for you, on good or bad days, we are here. And yes it’s worth persevering. You have one chance here on Earth as Trish and there will be good days as well as bad. Ups and downs, that’s life. We never know what a new day will bring. You fell, we all can and possibly will, see we all have something to battle day by day. It’s good you’ve come to friends when you are low. Stand tall and smile you are apart of the human race and we are known for mistakes. I at times feel so alone and turning to friends like SR is the right dicision, smart move!
_________
Beck
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: SYDNEY NSW
Posts: 156
Thanks.
I just wish that I could stop hating those who led me down the path of alcholism and junky behaviour. I know, you can lead a horse to water but you 'can't make it' drink.
I just wish that those that played a role in my downfall maliciously, and I know it was because of overheard conversations, would go and rot.
I just wish that I could stop hating those who led me down the path of alcholism and junky behaviour. I know, you can lead a horse to water but you 'can't make it' drink.
I just wish that those that played a role in my downfall maliciously, and I know it was because of overheard conversations, would go and rot.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Brownsburg Indiana
Posts: 63
I have always liked the saying, “What goes around comes around.” Hey, I probably got it backwards. But I have seen it happen. Don’t waste time thinking about negative things; spend the worth while time thinking about you. You’re worth it!
_________
Beck
_________
Beck
Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Brownsburg Indiana
Posts: 63
Yea you do it just might not be your strongest day! Those that have hurt you don't deserve a thought, good or bad. I'll be here for you if you in return will be here to brighten my worst days. Chin up!
Here, a gift to brighten your day,
She made me laugh!
_____________
Beck
Here, a gift to brighten your day,
She made me laugh!_____________
Beck
Living and Loving.
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Saratoga, California
Posts: 475
Hi Trish 
From one Trish to another... I too had many starts and restarts. One step forward, two steps back... a time of misery and self-loathing... one more step forward again seeing my insanity... two steps back followed by more self-pity, misery, anger, petulance... one more step forward again seeing and believing that I really did want more... two steps back followed by more worthlessness, more anger, more misery and hopelessness... then one more step forward. Rinse, repeat again. Every time I tried and failed the common denominator was that I kept trying again. No matter what just keep trying and keep having faith in the dream of a better future for yourself. If you keep that alive you will succeed. You really will because eventually your truth in wanting a better life will overrule your addiction. There will come a point where even though it is tough you will choose you instead of alcohol. You gotta get to that point where you know deep down in your toes that you have to stop for good. You gotta know it like you know you can't breath under water - it is a given - you just can't do it. Alcoholism is like trying to breath under water. You can hold your breath for a while but eventually you must come up for air or you will die cuz no matter how hard you try you cannot now or ever breath under water.
Keep your vision of a better future for yourself.
Suga
From one Trish to another... I too had many starts and restarts. One step forward, two steps back... a time of misery and self-loathing... one more step forward again seeing my insanity... two steps back followed by more self-pity, misery, anger, petulance... one more step forward again seeing and believing that I really did want more... two steps back followed by more worthlessness, more anger, more misery and hopelessness... then one more step forward. Rinse, repeat again. Every time I tried and failed the common denominator was that I kept trying again. No matter what just keep trying and keep having faith in the dream of a better future for yourself. If you keep that alive you will succeed. You really will because eventually your truth in wanting a better life will overrule your addiction. There will come a point where even though it is tough you will choose you instead of alcohol. You gotta get to that point where you know deep down in your toes that you have to stop for good. You gotta know it like you know you can't breath under water - it is a given - you just can't do it. Alcoholism is like trying to breath under water. You can hold your breath for a while but eventually you must come up for air or you will die cuz no matter how hard you try you cannot now or ever breath under water.
Keep your vision of a better future for yourself.
Suga
Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Leaving Sparta
Posts: 2,912
Trish, as much as I would like to help you I am equally as powerless as your partner or your parents.
The only thing I can do is support and encourage you with my words and point you in the right direction.Only you have the power to open the door and go through it.
In AA I learned some tricks about staying sober.
a) It was not the third drink that got me drunk, or the seventh. or the twenty third...... it was the FIRST.........think about that the next time you tell yourself just a couple
b) Weigh the pros and the cons.........is getting wasted more important than the love and respect of your family...?
c) Whatever you think might be driving your desire to drink bear in mind that there are far better ways of dealing with those issues.......through counselling, discussion and positive action.......
d)Learn to ignore the alcoholic voice in your head telling you that your future will be dull without alcohol.
The only thing I can do is support and encourage you with my words and point you in the right direction.Only you have the power to open the door and go through it.
In AA I learned some tricks about staying sober.
a) It was not the third drink that got me drunk, or the seventh. or the twenty third...... it was the FIRST.........think about that the next time you tell yourself just a couple
b) Weigh the pros and the cons.........is getting wasted more important than the love and respect of your family...?
c) Whatever you think might be driving your desire to drink bear in mind that there are far better ways of dealing with those issues.......through counselling, discussion and positive action.......
d)Learn to ignore the alcoholic voice in your head telling you that your future will be dull without alcohol.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: London
Posts: 1,229
Pen and Paper always help clarify thinking.
Look for glariningly irrational thoughts like "my life will be boring without booze".
or
"no one will like me without booze"
tests those thoughts with evidence. I think you'll find they are a load of rubbish. Keep being honest with yourself basically.
Look for glariningly irrational thoughts like "my life will be boring without booze".
or
"no one will like me without booze"
tests those thoughts with evidence. I think you'll find they are a load of rubbish. Keep being honest with yourself basically.
alcohol-kicked-my butt
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: oregon
Posts: 191
trish
iwas a relapse queen for 3 yrs--tried EVERYTHING--aa, steps,therapy,rr smart, etc, etc--i was hopless--antabuse works for alkies like me--im grateful for it--now i can get a chance for my mind to clear up --i feel hopeful and blessed to have this medication available these days
Laura
iwas a relapse queen for 3 yrs--tried EVERYTHING--aa, steps,therapy,rr smart, etc, etc--i was hopless--antabuse works for alkies like me--im grateful for it--now i can get a chance for my mind to clear up --i feel hopeful and blessed to have this medication available these days
Laura
Coming out of my shell
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: State of Denial
Posts: 100
Originally Posted by best
It happens to us all. I found that yesterday can't be changed so I take the lessons I learned from yesterday and use them today...Today I can change this moment by my choices.
Leave yesterday where it belongs and see what can be done today.
Leave yesterday where it belongs and see what can be done today.
Michael
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: London England
Posts: 291
Trish,
You have nothing to be ashamed of. 21 days is a brilliant start to sobriety and you have proved that you can do it. What you need to do now IMO is to examine what brought on your relapse and figure a way to neutralise it for the future. Also IMO you need to concentrate on your part in the process. Don't worry about your partner and your parents, they will be taken care of by you getting back to sobriety. Don't look to apportion blame to anyone, the blame game is completely pointless and non-productive.
mICHAEL
You have nothing to be ashamed of. 21 days is a brilliant start to sobriety and you have proved that you can do it. What you need to do now IMO is to examine what brought on your relapse and figure a way to neutralise it for the future. Also IMO you need to concentrate on your part in the process. Don't worry about your partner and your parents, they will be taken care of by you getting back to sobriety. Don't look to apportion blame to anyone, the blame game is completely pointless and non-productive.
mICHAEL
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