I Feel So Alone
Grateful recovering alcoholic
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Blissfield, MI
Posts: 814
Trish,
I know exactly how you are (or were) feeling. I went through a horrible depression November 2004-February 2005. I was extremely self-destructive, couldn't understand it, I wanted to badly to drink OR better yet, to just be done. With 13 years sober. I didn't drink, miraculously...not by anything I did to stop myself. I had a drink near my lips when a voice screamed at me "What the hell are you doing?!". Thank God or my life would be a lot different now! I'm now 32 with 2 young children, a husband, both parents, lots of AA support, support here...I fought for every day...sometimes, every moment. I knew I should have gone to a stress center, but I chose to take my chances, because my pride wouldn't let me "ask" for help. Nearly killed me.
Self-destruction. Trish, I got over self-destruction when I finally was able and willing to forgive God AND myself. I blamed myself for so much of the pains in my life - therefor it seemed natural to do things to hurt myself. Once I was finally able to forgive, everything changed. I worked the steps hard, because my life depended on it, I can't believe the difference in how I feel today compared to just a year ago...no comparison.
This too shall pass, if you are fortunate enough to make it through this. Get help. Get support. Whether you believe it or not, your life IS worth it. You have to live long enough though to see it.
Blessings and I'll pray for you,
Jen
I know exactly how you are (or were) feeling. I went through a horrible depression November 2004-February 2005. I was extremely self-destructive, couldn't understand it, I wanted to badly to drink OR better yet, to just be done. With 13 years sober. I didn't drink, miraculously...not by anything I did to stop myself. I had a drink near my lips when a voice screamed at me "What the hell are you doing?!". Thank God or my life would be a lot different now! I'm now 32 with 2 young children, a husband, both parents, lots of AA support, support here...I fought for every day...sometimes, every moment. I knew I should have gone to a stress center, but I chose to take my chances, because my pride wouldn't let me "ask" for help. Nearly killed me.
Self-destruction. Trish, I got over self-destruction when I finally was able and willing to forgive God AND myself. I blamed myself for so much of the pains in my life - therefor it seemed natural to do things to hurt myself. Once I was finally able to forgive, everything changed. I worked the steps hard, because my life depended on it, I can't believe the difference in how I feel today compared to just a year ago...no comparison.
This too shall pass, if you are fortunate enough to make it through this. Get help. Get support. Whether you believe it or not, your life IS worth it. You have to live long enough though to see it.
Blessings and I'll pray for you,
Jen
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